The Wrong Guy Page #4

Thanks, thanks.

You're welcome.

Thank you, thank you.

But it's very friendly

of you to be concerned.

You know, I don't have

very many friends.

Really?

That surprises me.

Well, you know

how small towns are.

Everybody's

in such a rush.

The hurly-burly

of farm life --

it's just hard

to meet people.

There must be a lot of men

interested in you.

Oh, no.

I-I hope you don't mind me

saying this,

but you're

a very beautiful woman.

You think so?

Yeah.

Well, for some reason,

I'm not very popular.

Who knows why?

Who can map

the human heart when --

[ Sighs ]

[ Tires squeal ]

[ Fence cracks ]

[ Sighs ]

Lynn?

Lynn,

are you all right?

[ Groans ]

Are you okay?

Did I have

one of my spells again?

I'm guessing you did.

[ Sighs ] You'll have to

forgive me.

I'm slightly narcoleptic.

Ah.

Oh, my God,

you're hurt.

We'll go back to my house,

and I'll bandage that cut.

Maybe I should drive.

Don't be silly.

You don't know the way.

[ Gears grinding ]

[ Birds chirping ]

[ Dog barks ]

[ Gearshift clicks,

engine turns off ]

Oh, that looks pretty bad.

We probably should do

something about that.

First, we better

disinfect it.

I really don't think

that's necessary.

-- Ow! My eye!

-- Sorry, sorry,

sorry, sorry, sorry.

Ow! Burning! Burning!

Burning my eye!

Here, here.

Ow! Ow! Please stop!

Please stop!

Oh, sorry.

I'm just making

things worse, aren't l?

-- No.

-- No?

-- No, it's me.

-- Really?

It's these damn eyes.

They're just too sensitive

to chemicals and...

filthy towels.

You know what?

I'm feeling much better,

really, much better.

Maybe just some ice

for the swelling.

That would be great.

-- lce?

-- Yeah.

[ Crying ]

We can't afford any ice.

Huh?

[ Sobbing ]

There, there.

There, there.

[ Sobs ] I'm sorry.

It's just, our refrigerator

is broken,

and we have to eat

canned food

because we can't afford

to fix it.

That's awful.

Everything

is falling apart.

Gee.

It sure sounds like

you folks could use

some help around here.

Yeah.

[ Sobbing continues ]

Well, I better be going.

Wait.

Nelson,

maybe you could help.

[ Sniffles ]

I don't follow.

Well, um, maybe

you could work here

for room and board.

Work -- uh, what --

what kind of work?

Um, well, you know,

odd jobs,

handyman kind of stuff.

I can't do

any heavy lifting.

Uh, bad back?

No.

Look, you don't want me

around here, all right?

Look, l-I'm trouble.

I'll bring you

nothing but heartache.

Nelson!

Oh...

where will you go?

I don't know,

down the road.

Maybe I'll scrounge a meal

from a dumpster...

find an old cardboard box

to sleep in.

[ Door handle jiggles ]

[ Jiggling ]

[ Jiggling ]

Are you sure?

All right, I'll stay,

but just for a little while.

Oh, good.

You can stay here.

Mm-hmm.

This was my brother

Billy's room.

Oh.

So, your brother's

gay, huh?

[ Laughing ] Gay?

[ Laughs ]

No, Billy is not gay.

[ Laughs ]

I mean, if you knew

how funny it is

that you would think that.

[ Laughing ]

[ Laughing ] Gay.

No, no, he's a Marine.

[ Laughs ]

Oh. Hmm.

[ Laughing ]

Oh, run away, turn away

Run away, turn away

Run away

[ Click, music stops ]

My mistake.

That's all right.

[ Laughs ]

He's about 5'9",

brown hair.

Yeah, I think I saw him.

Kind of an idiot?

No, he's smart,

supersmart,

most likely a genius.

No, then it's not

the same guy.

They guy I saw stuck his head

in the water machine.

[ Sighs ]

Yeah, well,

that's him all right.

He was here a while ago.

You sure

he's not an idiot?

Quite sure.

[ Bird caws ]

[ Siren wails ]

[ Tires squeal ]

[ Bell dings ]

[ Wailing continues ]

John...

My siren's stuck again.

[ Birds chirping,

brakes squeak ]

[ Hinges squeak ]

Lynn, who fixed the fence?!

[ Gate closes,

steady rattling ]

Who are you?

Oh, I'm Nelson.

Lynn hired me to be

the new handyman.

Well,

she's got a big heart.

Oh, you must be her father.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

Uh, now,

if you'll excuse me,

I have to glue this fence

back up.

Third time's the charm.

Lynn, I think we need

to talk!

[ Crickets chirping,

dog barking in distance ]

[ Wood thuds ]

[ Sighs ]

I am starving.

[ Thud, clink ]

Lynn:
Canned ham?

Oh...this cracker

is so filling.

I don't think I could eat

another bite.

All right.

Suit yourself.

Nelson, I know that Lynn

told you

that you could be

our handyman,

but I'm gonna have to

let you go.

Daddy...

No, that's all right.

I understand.

I just want to thank you,

though,

for your --

your graciousness,

your warmth,

and your hospitality.

This has been the happiest

time of my life.

And whatever happens to me

from here on in,

I want you to know that

I will never forget

these past four hours.

See, I'm -- I'm just

a simple country banker.

And, well, lately it's been

impossible to make ends meet

with all

the low interest rates

and the federal controls

and all those damn

wealthy farmers

trying to shut me down.

Hey! Maybe I could be more use

to you down at the bank.

I-I do have an MBA

from an lvy League college.

I mean, it's not strictly

Ivy League, I mean,

but it was near Harvard.

You had to take

the same bus that you

took to get to Harvard,

not that anybody

who went to Harvard

ever took the bus.

[ Laughs ]

Well, normally,

it's not a good idea

to take a total stranger,

a hobo,

and put him in a responsible

position at the bank,

but...well, damn it,

I am the owner of Fred Holden

Savings & Loan,

and I think you're telling

the truth.

I know you didn't make it

through life as a handyman,

so tomorrow,

you start at the bank.

Great.

Well, tomorrow's

a big day for me.

I better get to bed.

Thank you, daddy.

[ Thunder rumbles,

lightning crashes ]

[ Knock on door ]

Yes?

Fred?

No, l-It's me -- Lynn.

Oh.

[ Negatively ]

Ooh.

That light is so harsh.

Do you mind?

No.

Can I come in?

No. Don't move.

Stay where you are.

It...wouldn't be...

proper.

Ah, Nelson...

-- You're such a gentleman.

-- Thanks.

Now, if you could just

pivot a little clockwise.

Sure. Why?

No reason.

Um, Nelson,

I just wanted to say,

"good luck tomorrow"

and I'm really happy

that you're staying.

Oh.

Thanks, Lynn.

Me too.

Good night, Nelson.

Good night, Lynn.

[ Door closes ]

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Lightning crashes ]

Protein.

[ Bones crack, dog barking ]

[ Growling ]

Get your own rat,

you son of a b*tch.

-- [ Whack ]

-- [ Whimpers ]

[ Thunder crashes ]

[ Evil laughter ]

Well, Jimmy [Sighs]

apparently, the killer

hasn't been to this French

restaurant either.

Well, sir, we have

no reason to believe

he's anywhere in New York.

Well, maybe that's what

he'd like us to believe.

Jimmy, call Ticketmaster,

get us two tickets to

that "Moby Dick" musical...

"Moby."

Yes, sir.

Uh, better yet --

make it four tickets,

and call one

of those escort places.

Get us some dates.

We don't want to look

too conspicuous.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, and, Jimmy...

See if they have

a blond Asian girl.

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