The Wrong Guy Page #5

See, we went through

a pretty big modernization

back in 1958.

That's when my father died.

That's when we replaced

the inkwells

with the ballpoint pens.

Oh, very impressive.

See that chair?

That's new.

It's very nice.

Well, frankly,

I miss the old chair,

but time marches on.

So your uniform's

in the locker.

Uniform?

Gavin:
Mornin'.

Oh, Gav, this is Nelson.

He's, uh, replacing

Mrs. Evans.

This is a stickup.

Oh, God. Please.

Please don't kill me.

I'm just begging you

not to kill me.

Nelson, Nelson, Nelson,

it's me.

It's Lynn.

I was just joking.

[ Exhales deeply ]

Me too.

[ Laughing ]

I thought I'd stop by,

and I'd bring you

some lunch.

Oh, that's great.

[ Footsteps approach ]

Well, Holden, I'm surprised

to see that you're still open.

Well, no thanks to you,

Farmer Brown.

I see you've finally got

a replacement for Miss Evans.

You know you can't

hold out much longer.

Your note's due in 30 days.

We'll make it.

We're doing just fine.

Maybe so.

But it'd be a shame

if people around here

started to lose confidence

in the bank,

if certain facts

became public.

What facts?

What do you think of this,

young man?

[ Panting ]

Oh, the bank,

wow.

Well, since you own

the newspaper,

I'm not surprised

they'd print your lies.

Sell me your share

of the bank now,

and your investors will get

some of their money back.

Sure will be nice to tear

this old bank down

and plant me

a fresh crop of corn.

You will never grow

one single ear

of your filthy corn here!

Well, we'll see.

To the broccoli field,

Jeddediah, and hurry.

Ah.

Why does everybody

look so down?

Well, Farmer Brown

was just here.

We may really be in trouble

this time.

The note's coming due,

and business is way off.

We're gonna need a miracle

and need it fast.

Damn him!

Aw.

I wish I could have

been there for you.

Oh, honey,

just having you here,

Iying on the floor

unconscious,

was comfort enough.

Thank you, daddy.

I can't get used to

this chair.

I'm so happy

you're staying.

I think you're really helping

out father at the bank.

Everything's so wonderful.

I know.

And that fence might stay up

if it doesn't rain.

Nelson, I think I'm falling

in love with you.

That's a bad idea,

Lynn.

Why?

This is hard

for me to say.

As much as I'd like

to stay here

with you and your father,

l-I can't.

You see,

I'm the prime suspect

in a crime

that I did not commit.

The crime...of murder!

Lynn?

[ Birds chirping ]

Lynn?

Lynn?

[ Singsong voice ]

Lynn?

[ Crickets chirping ]

Man on TV:
...In this

grisly work that we do.

-- I know that.

-- This is one exception.

Contained within

the tragic murder tape

-- Mm-hmm.

-- of millionaire Randall Nagel

is this often-requested

bit of comedy relief.

I know that.

Please stop staring at me

like that.

I don't care

if that shopping mall's

been in your family

for generations.

Soon that land will be

a pasture for dairy cattle.

And there is nothing

you can do about it.

-- Ow! Ow!

-- That, my friend,

is a very wise decision.

The papers will be ready

to sign in the morning.

[ Nelson screaming ]

[ Volume increases ]

The killer is still at large.

-- Ah! Ah! Ah!

-- If you have any information

-- Ah! Ah! Ah!

-- about this or any of the

cases presented this evening,

please call us at the number

flashing on your screen.

Well, I wonder

how the customers will feel

when they find out

they've had a murderer working

behind the teller's window.

Well, Lynn,

that's my story.

You've got to believe me.

I didn't do it.

Well,

I consider myself a pretty

good judge of people,

except for that one guy

who said he was

an advanced scout for

an alien invasion force,

but it turned out

he just wanted to get

in my pants.

I just don't think

you're the kind of person

that could

commit a murder.

Thanks.

That means a lot.

I'm starting to have

some very strong

feelings for you.

The sort of feelings

I've never had for anyone

that couldn't further

my career.

Oh, Nelson.

Ahab's pissed,

he once missed

He's no ichthyologist

Sir, we just got

a call from --

Hold it.

Those are flesh-and-blood

actors up there.

Give them the respect

they deserve.

But, sir,

the killer --

Jimmy, you can tell me

at intermission.

I'll meet you at the bar.

Have a gin and tonic

waiting for me.

Oh,

and a mai tai for the lady.

Go.

[ Singing continues ]

How could you

let this happen?

Ken:
What happened?

This

million-dollar reward.

Oh, that.

That's no big deal.

Who's responsible

for this?

What, the reward?

That was, uh, my idea.

I thought it was a good way

to throw suspicion off me.

Do the police

suspect you?

No, of course not.

With stunts like these,

they're never going to.

Look, just calm down.

No one's gonna find you.

I'm sure nobody even knows

about the offer.

Boy, you know what I'd do

with that million dollars?

I'd buy me a new gas station

with solid-gold pumps.

Just be at Mr. Tiny's

on Wednesday.

So you're sure the murderer

is in that bank?

Most definitely.

[ Evil laughter ]

Why are you laughing

like that?

Like what?

You know, weird, creepy.

It's a...allergy.

[ Clears throat ]

[ Clears throat ]

Uh, Jimmy, notify the locals

that we're coming.

On my signal, we move in

and apprehend the suspect.

Right.

[ lndistinct yelling ]

I want

to close my account!

Me too.

What's this all about?

Your teller there

is a coldblooded murderer.

-- Yeah!

-- Yeah!

-- Yeah!

Where'd you get that idea?

From the front page

of this newspaper.

Well, this is nuts.

This newspaper's owned

by Farmer Brown.

He's been trying

to shut us down for years.

Edgar, your father

got the money

for that house

you're living in

from this bank.

Jacob, do you remember

when you needed money

to start

that men's jewelry store?

Well, you didn't get it

from Brown.

You got it from us.

Uh, yeah,

I had to foreclose on you,

but, well,

it wasn't a good idea, was it?

Men in this town

just don't wear jewelry.

Everybody, look, the money from

this bank is in that town.

Now, you're not gonna

risk it all

just on the basis

of one stupid rumor!

Yes, we are!

[ lndistinct yelling ]

Hold on!

Wait a minute!

Hold on!

Hold on!

[ Yelling continues ]

Wait a minute!

Just wait a minute!

Wait a minute!

Now, Nelson,

set these people straight.

You're not a killer,

are you?

A killer? No.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm an alleged killer.

Yes, I did

threaten the man,

and my prints were all over

the murder weapon,

but that's just 'cause

I pulled it out of his skull.

[ lndistinct yelling ]

Freeze!

We know the killer of

Randall Nagel is in this bank!

[ Crowd murmuring ]

Follow me.

[ lndistinct yelling ]

I want my money back!

We want our money back!

We want our money back!

Money back!

Money back!

-- We want our money back!

-- We want our money back!

[ Whistles ]

Quiet!

Everybody just settle down!

You're letting the killer go!

The killer?

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