The Yes Men Fix the World Page #2

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And as you move

into a future

of ever-increasing

complexity

and ever-increasing

opportunities,

DOW Acceptable Risk

can assure you

that your touch

will be the Midas one.

And I'd like to finish

with a little poem.

"I'd rather be

handsome than homely,

I'd rather

be youthful than old,

If I can't have

a bushel of silver,

I'll do

with a barrel of gold."

So thank you very much.

We hope you come up

- and get a closer look.

- THANK YOU.

- Thanks a lot.

- Thank you. Thanks.

Thank you very much.

Here is a keychain.

Thank you very much.

Absolutely.

- Thank you.

- Unfortunately, I don't

have a card anymore,

- I ran out of them.

- Oh wonderful.

Yes, you were one

of the earlier speakers.

- Thanks.

- Yes. It's a pleasure.

- Thank you.

- It was very interesting.

Is it applicable--

Is your model applicable

to anything?

I mean, can we use it

in risk management?

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

I'll have our

risk-management guys

take a look at it,

'cause we do a lot

of interesting things.

Wonderful.

This is interesting.

- Thanks a lot.

- Thank you.

- Okay, take care.

- Yes, hello.

Hello, sorry...

- Mhm. Yeah.

- And you--

That's right.

Yeah, well -- Yeah.

- Is that right?

Well, that's pretty much--

Yeah, that's exactly

what I said.

It's--

Did you find that not--

Okay.

Refreshing?

We meant to be shocking,

not refreshingly honest.

To us, this was

about refreshing as

the Kool-Aid in Jonestown.

The mass suicide and murder

of more than 900 Americans

who took

cyanide-laced fruit punch

from their

spiritual father

and then

laid down to die.

THAT'S THE THING

ABOUT CULTS--

WHAT'S SHOCKING

TO OUTSIDERS:

SEEMS NORMAL:

TO INSIDERS.

IS THIS:

WHY UNFETTERED GREED

SEEMED NORMAL:

TO BANKERS?

AND IF SO, WHO WAS

THE CULT LEADER HERE?

THIS IS:

MILTON FRIEDMAN.

WE WERE TOLD THA HE WAS THE WORLD'S

MOST INFLUENTIAL

ECONOMIST.

DID GOVERNMENT PLAY

A ROLE IN THIS?

VERY LITTLE.

ONLY BY KEEPING:

THE ROAD CLEAR:

FOR HUMAN GREED:

AND SELF-INTERES TO PROMOTE THE WELFARE

OF THE CONSUMER.

IN THIS BOOK, FRIEDMAN USED

THE WORD FREEDOM

374 TIMES.

BUT BY FREEDOM,

HE DIDN'T MEAN THIS.

HE MEANT THIS--

THE FREEDOM:

OF CORPORATIONS:

TO PROFIT,

NO MATTER:

THE RISK TO PEOPLE

AND WITHOUT INTERFERENCE

FROM GOVERNMENT.

DR. MILTON FRIEDMAN--

A SCIENTIST,

A CAREFUL THINKER

AND A GREAT TEACHER--

George W. Bush:

A HERO OF FREEDOM--

MILTON FRIEDMAN.

I SOUGHT OUT DR. FRIEDMAN

AND HAD THE GREAT PLEASURE

AND PRIVILEGE:

OF MEETING HIM:

AND HIS ECONOMIST WIFE ROSE.

WE'VE ALL

BECOME FRIENDS,

AND NOW:

I CALL HIM MILTON.

IF WE WANTED TO UNDERSTAND

THE BANKERS' MINDSET,

WE NEEDED TO FIND

THE GURU OF GREED.

THERE WAS:

ONLY ONE PROBLEM.

BUT THOUGH FRIEDMAN

HAD NOW ASCENDED,

HIS FOLLOWERS CARRIED

THE FLAME.

OKAY, SO WE SHOULD

GO IN THERE?

- YEAH.

- GREAT. THANK YOU.

UNCLE MILTY I CALL HIM.

THESE GUYS BELONG

TO FREE-MARKET THINK TANKS

WHICH HAVE SPENT BILLIONS

OF CORPORATE DOLLARS

TRYING TO MAKE:

US ALL BELIEVE:

THAT IF WE JUS LET CORPORATIONS

DO WHAT THEY WANT,

EVERYTHING WILL:

WORK OUT GREAT.

WE'RE KIND OF

ON A QUEST.

WE WAN TO FIX THE WORLD

AND WE WANT TO KNOW

HOW TO DO IT.

PRIVATE PROPERTY,

RULE OF LAW:

AND A MARKET UNRESTRICTED

BY GOVERNMEN REGULATION AND CONTROL.

WHEN WE SEE:

COMPANIES DEMONIZED,

WE SHOULD WORK:

AGAINST THAT.

WHEN WE SEE:

THE FREE-MARKE SYSTEM CASTIGATED

WE MUST WORK:

AGAINST THAT.

MORE WEALTH LEADS

TO GREATER EFFICIENCY,

GREATER INNOVATION

AND, BASICALLY,

ALL GOOD THINGS.

- WEALTH.

- MONEY.

- PRIVATIZATION.

- WEALTH.

- MONEY.

- INDIVIDUALIST FREEDOM.

- PRIVATIZATION.

- FREE MARKETS.

- OWNERSHIP.

- AND A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY.

CAPITALISM AND FREEDOM.

WEALTH AND PROSPERITY.

WE WERE GETTING:

THE MESSAGE,

AND SO WERE:

MILLIONS OF OTHERS.

THESE GUYS:

SPREAD FRIEDMAN'S

FREE-MARKET GOSPEL

BY ANY MEANS:

THAT THEY CAN,

LIKE SPEAKING:

TO CONGRESS,

VIRAL VIDEOS:

AND GUEST SPOTS:

ON SUNDAY MORNING

TALK SHOWS.

THEY CLAIM TO HAVE DERAILED

THE KYOTO PROTOCOL

AND TO HAVE HELPED

DESTROY REGULATION

AROUND HOUSING,

BANKING, ENERGY

AND THE ENVIRONMENT.

THEY AGREED TO MEE PRETTY MUCH ANYONE

WITH A CAMERA...

- EVEN US.

YOU SEE THERE'S

A BLUE SCREEN:

BEHIND YOU.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE

TO BE PUT IN FRONT OF?

A PLANET EARTH.

OH COOL,

A BLUE SCREEN.

I'D SAY

THE JEFFERSON MONUMENT.

- HOW ABOU JEFFERSON MEMORIAL?

- IT'S ALREADY TAKEN.

- OH, IT IS TAKEN. SH*T.

- SOMEBODY ELSE...

I'M SURE YOU HAVE

A GOOD BACKDROP:

- OF WASHINGTON.

DON'T PUT ME

IN FRONT OF ANYTHING

IN WASHINGTON.

I HATE WASHINGTON.

PUT UP A SCENE:

IN OUTER SPACE:

OR SOMETHING.

I WOULD SAY:

A WORLD IN WHICH

MAN IS TREATED:

AS AN END IN HIMSELF

RATHER THAN A TOOL

TO BE MANIPULATED

BY THOSE:

WITH POLITICAL POWER.

HOW CAN:

WE REPRESENT THAT?

IS THERE:

A SINGLE IMAGE OR...

A SERIES:

OF IMAGES?

I THINK THA THE IMAGES ARE

OF MEN--

JUST THE PROSPERITY

OF FREE MEN:

FOLLOWING WHA THEIR HEARTS AND DESIRES

LEAD THEM TOO.

- I THINK

WE CAN FIND THAT.

- SOUNDS GOOD.

NOW THAT WE HAD:

OUR NEW FRIENDS AT EASE

IT WAS TIME TO ASK THEM

THE REALLY TOUGH QUESTIONS.

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY

TO PEOPLE WHO HARP ON

THE BHOPAL CATASTROPHE

OR OTHER TRAGEDIES?

BHOPAL IS:

AN INTERESTING EXAMPLE.

THAT FACILITY HAD CREATED

EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES

FOR AN INDIAN EMERGING

TECHNOCRATIC CLASS.

IT HAD CREATED:

VALUE ADDED:

AND TAX BASE:

FOR THE COMMUNITY,

AND SOMETHING LIKE

3,000 PEOPLE DIED.

THAT'S A TRAGEDY,

BUT THERE ARE ALWAYS RISKS

OF GOING:

INTO THE FUTURE.

"THERE ARE ALWAYS RISKS

OF GOING INTO THE FUTURE"?

FOR THOUSANDS:

OF PEOPLE IN BHOPAL,

THERE WAS NO FUTURE.

AT LEAS THE JONESTOWN SUICIDE CUL KILLED ONLY THEMSELVES.

THE FREE MARKETEERS

SEEMED WILLING:

TO PU EVERYONE ELSE AT RISK.

- BACK AT HOME...

- You have new mail.

...WE HAD MAIL.

IT TURNED OU OUR DOW SITE WAS THE GIF THAT KEPT ON GIVING.

THIS TIME IT WASN' A MERE CONFERENCE--

WE'D HIT THE JACKPOT.

THE B.B.C.,

PERHAPS THE WORLD'S

MOST-RESPECTED

NEWS ORGANIZATION,

WAS DOING:

A BIG BROADCAS ABOUT BHOPAL

AND THEY WANTED:

TO KNOW:

WHETHER DOW MIGH FINALLY CLEAN UP

THEIR MESS.

THE INTERVIEW, THEY SAID,

WOULD BE BROADCAS TO 300 MILLION PEOPLE.

THIS WAS WHA WE'D BEEN WAITING FOR.

TO THE B.B.C.'S

GREAT SURPRISE,

DOW EMAILED BACK TO SAY

THEY WOULD BE DELIGHTED

TO SPEAK PUBLICLY

ABOUT THE CATASTROPHE.

AS FOR US,

300 MILLION PEOPLE

WAS ABOU A MILLION TIMES BIGGER

THAN ANY OTHER AUDIENCE

WE'D EVER HAD.

WE WERE SCARED.

SO WE ASKED:

THE B.B.C. IF,

INSTEAD OF COMING

TO THEIR HEADQUARTERS

IN LONDON,

WE COULD MEET THEM

IN NEUTRAL TERRITORY--

THE ORIGINAL LAND

OF REVOLUTION.

- ARE YOU

A LITTLE NERVOUS?

- I'M SO NERVOUS.

OH GOD, IT'S LIKE GOING

TO THE GUILLOTINE.

I THINK IT'S RIGHT NEAR

WHERE THEY USED TO HAVE

THE GUILLOTINE, TOO,

IN PARIS--

THE OFFICE.

MMM. YEAH, I THINK

IT'S THE BIGGEST THING

WE'VE EVER DONE--

THIS.

I HAVEN'T COMBED

MY HAIR IN LIKE...

- 100 YEARS?

- ...20 YEARS.

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