The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling Page #11
- TV-MA
- Year:
- 2018
- 259 min
- 112 Views
Hands up. Step around.
Step.
( both grunting )
Oh, damn. Time, time.
So, do you think that fear
is what drives you sometimes,
and I'm not kidding,
in a scene?
Because you bring
a lot of power to a scene,
do you also go into a scene
and go, "I'm going to win this?"
- Yes. Yes.
- I'll be damned.
I go into the scene and I say,
"I'm going to--
I'm going to kick
your f***in' ass."
- If that's what the scene
requires.
- That's what your essence is.
- I'm going to win.
- Mine is more dancing around.
- I'm going to win.
What was your experience when
you came in to do that episode?
I could tell you were
that was going to rip my head
off and cook it and eat it
right there
if you wanted to.
Well, see,
I don't think that's true,
but that is what I feel with you
when you're in the ring.
- You see?
- Isn't that funny?
- Yup. That's what I feel.
- So now you have a little bit
of a taste of how I felt
back in 1992.
- But, see, I would--
- How do you like it?
I wouldn't...
- Come on, Garry.
- Too much talk.
- You know, Dave,
I say full contact
in a second.
- I don't care if I die.
- ( man laughs )
Within that weird space
of a DVD extra,
he put as much effort
as he did...
- More.
- ...to making "Larry Sanders."
More. He put more into it.
Seinfeld:
The thing about television
is that it always wins
in the end.
In other words, those...
these shows that we have,
if we didn't kill them,
they would kill us.
Berg:
And that's truly the definition
of an artist.
Shandling:
What do you think
I should do next?
Uh...
I would say two words.
Because, you've got good...
I would say this.
...objective.
I think lighten up.
Yeah.
This is actually going
to make me cry.
This is the most fun I've had
in a couple years.
- Tom Petty:
Yeah. I feel good.- Don't you? Seriously.
You know, you were under a lot
of pressure from time to time.
It was unbearable.
Yeah, and then you had
the lawsuit and the whole...
- I shouldn't mention--
- Yeah, you can.
Because we've talked about it.
It just made it very hard.
I mean, God, I really
felt bad for you, you know.
We were both...
I was getting a divorce
and you were getting sued,
so we were
perfect company.
You know?
We could just
b*tch endlessly.
But it was true.
We were just destroyed.
And look at you now.
I mean, you've come
out of it.
You're making a DVD.
( laughs )
Apatow:
Garry was doing his DVD extras,
and he was going to talk
to Ricky Gervais for that.
for English television
where he had conversations with
different comedians he admired.
- Right.
- And they were supposed to do
Garry's DVD part first.
And when Garry got home,
Ricky Gervais was
completely set up.
Grayson:
They were shooting already.
Two years' worth of salad there
for me. What's in this one?
Ice lollies and vodka.
That's the fake one,
for filming, with the salad.
That's the real one.
And Garry walks into being shot
without anybody telling him
we're about to shoot.
When he was in the kitchen,
he was livid.
Why did you ruin
that moment by looking?
- ( laughs )
- How did you get in?
How did you-- was that you
that was looking--?
- Gervais:
It's your house.- Was that you
- that was looking this way?
- Gervais:
No.Who was looking right here
when I was walking in?
When I was standing out there,
didn't you see
that I was walking in?
- No.
- Was that you?
First you said,
"No, that wasn't me."
No, I didn't see you.
I swear, I didn't--
Well, now you're
changing the story
to, "It was me,
but I didn't see you."
That's true, but you said
"Is it you that looked out
there?"
What I was doing was talking
to my producer that was here.
What's interesting is,
and I love Ricky Gervais,
is Ricky Gervais'--
the series of eyes was going,
"Where am I? What's going on?
I am scared."
Well, where do you want
to do this interview, then?
I don't know, by the kitchen
sink isn't so bad.
I just need to put
Good. We can get this.
This is dynamite.
Don't do it over the sink.
What if it goes down the plug?
What are you, controlling?
How long you think I've been
wearing contact lenses?
You're giving me advice of how
to put my contact lens in?
It's a nice house.
It's a little eye
into a gear that Garry had
when his anger came out, and...
and when he felt abused
in some way.
- Yeah.
- That wouldn't come up often,
but that was the look.
I'm looking at you.
You wore black.
And I was worried
I didn't make an effort.
I can't tell
what you do on purpose
to make yourself look that way
and what you don't.
I don't know what
your choices are.
I don't need to tell you...
I want to get
onto this, actually.
The ego of the comedian.
Do we care about
how good we look?
I think that is not the ego
of a comedian.
I think that's ego, period.
- ( cell phone rings )
- That's my ass detector,
and it's gone off
because you're here.
Come this way.
Come into the garden.
I want to show you something.
Apatow:
Garry said that on some level,
he was creating some sort
of moment that was awkward.
And, in some sense,
teaching Ricky Gervais to be
present in his performance.
Yeah. Oh, that's correct.
It was almost like
the psychologist
teaching the patient.
- Here's what I want to do.
- Go on.
I want to take a minute
Okay. What do you mean?
Tell me what you mean.
No, I don't know.
What do you want me to do?
- Nothing.
- Okay. All right.
Absolutely nothing.
And not even think.
Okay.
We're taking a break.
Don't even think.
Do you mean do you want
to take a break?
- No.
- Okay, all right.
Okay, all right.
I'm up for that.
I'm thinking.
I got to be honest.
I'm thinking. I can't not think.
I see it in your work.
It's valuable in your work.
Do you know how valuable
not thinking is in your work?
No.
It's like he wanted
to get deeper into the truth.
Yes, yup.
And he was stripping
away artifice.
And then he keeps
stripping it away
until finally it's him
confronting his ex-fiance.
- Yeah, I mean-- yeah.
- On camera.
- And they have it out
for the DVD extra.
- ( laughs )
Hi, Garry.
- Let's just take this beat.
- Yeah.
So when was the last time
I saw you?
Wow.
( exhales )
Couple years,
at least, right?
- A few years.
- Is it?
And you have a child?
- Yeah.
- You didn't bring him?
No.
Not my child?
No.
Get that straight
right now.
Yeah.
That's a whole 'nother
can of worms.
Well, you wanted to get--
you can talk about it.
I just wanted a baby,
and he gave me a job.
( laughs )
( sniffles )
My personal observation is...
it was hard for both of us
to go on without each other.
In my opinion.
Human nature drove my decision
to find a good man--
a primal need--
to be the father
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2025. Web. 20 Jan. 2025. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_zen_diaries_of_garry_shandling_21701>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In