The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling Page #12

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of my child.

And I...I got to do that.

But as far as soul mate

and the connection,

we had that.

I thought that he would perhaps

be in another relationship,

but he wasn't.

( music playing )

Apatow:

It seems like there's

something in Buddhism

and that type of thought that

lends itself to being solitary.

There's very little in it

that's about connecting

and figuring out the dance

with another person.

So, when you are thinking

about that exclusively

in your spiritual life,

it's not directing you

towards a partnership.

It's directing you

to let go of all attachments.

Look, I got this tattoo.

I haven't shown anybody.

It's a Buddhist symbol

for emptiness.

Ego emptiness.

It's a circle.

It's the empty circle.

Are you a Buddhist now?

Well, I mean,

I've been meditating

as long as I've known you,

but I wouldn't classify it

as one thing or the other.

- As one particular thing.

- No.

( music playing )

Silverman:

I think he turned to Buddhism,

and that was what

he put so much

of his time

and his love into.

But it's not because he's Zen.

It's because he was in

desperate need of being Zen.

So he had rage.

He could really hold on to stuff

and be troubled by things that

to other people

might seem small.

But he was always

working on that, you know?

Always trying to process it

and understand it and...

just from losing a brother.

But that was never

really what it was about.

It was about a mother

losing a son.

And I don't know

that he was able

to really have feelings

around it.

And those feelings

had to go somewhere.

( audience laughing )

Shandling:

My mother, I swear to you,

asked me if I was gay.

Last month I was in Arizona,

where my mother lives,

and I'm driving her

across town.

And, she says,

"Who are you dating?"

And I don't tell my mother

anyone that I'm dating,

because it always would result

in a fight.

My mother's deeply

conflicted.

She wants to have

grandchildren,

but I don't think she wants me

to have them with another woman.

( laughter )

So...

seriously.

My mother wants

to marry me.

I told my shrink that and he...

he did something I've only seen

blackjack dealers do.

He looked at me and went...

My mother...

( cheers and applause )

Really, I wish

it was funny to me.

( music playing )

David Josephs:

She really... okay,

had a mental illness,

that's the bottom line.

And she needed to be

on medication.

And she needed treatment.

And we could just never

get her to do that.

We tried and we tried

and we tried.

If that had been done,

she would have been

much better,

and everything

would have been easier.

The ironic thing

was he tried so hard,

and every time it blew up.

Okay, Garry was, like,

going to confront her

and go out to the cemetery

where Barry was, and Irv,

and have a conversation

about it, you know?

What he went through,

and being sent away

and not going

to the funeral.

She didn't want to hear it.

You know, she took it

as a personal attack.

You know, so after that

he never came back.

That was it.

But to me, in the end,

it's about forgiveness.

Because no matter what

the story is,

and her mental illness

and all the rest,

and everything

that was done,

if you can't get to forgiveness

and acceptance,

then you're carrying that sh*t

with you.

Saget:

Every couple years,

we'd see each other.

Not enough for my taste.

You know, I saw him once

and I said,

"Garry, I just...

"I can't spend

the rest of my life

"not being able

to be friends with you

and not being able

to talk with you."

And he said, "Okay."

And he took out his phone.

It was like, bam.

It was like, you know,

20 years, no problem.

Splice it together.

And then we just started

doing cock jokes.

I'm sorry,

that was our connection.

( Apatow laughs )

Saget:

And I kept trying to reach out

to him after that.

I always tried

to reach out to him.

But he didn't--

he didn't answer.

And so that's...

that's where the sadness

comes in for me.

That's the thing.

If he didn't love me

and he just flat out hated me

and felt betrayed,

that's one thing.

But if in his heart he loved me,

then we were on the same page.

And I don't know

if it's fixable

because of all the stuff

that happens,

but love is love.

And there ain't a lot of it

in this life.

Not enough.

Leno:

All right my first guest,

an old buddy of mine,

Emmy-winning actor, writer,

comedian, raconteur.

His latest film is the animated

hit "Over the Hedge,"

which is playing

in theaters everywhere.

Please welcome,

the lovely Garry Shandling.

Garry Shandling

is over here.

David Letterman:

Here he is, Garry Shandling.

- Ten years.

- It's been 10 years

since you were here.

- Isn't that remarkable?

- It's remarkable.

And is there a problem?

No.

I mean, I think that you and I

have a fantastic relationship.

I love you very much.

- ( laughs )

- I thought...

I thought the last time I was

here I didn't plug anything.

I just came to see you.

- Which I appreciate...

- But, I love you.

I love you as well,

and I think it's important

that we get together

once a decade.

I don't take Viagra,

because I don't want

another erection.

Really?

You tell me one

that hasn't gotten me

into some complicated mess.

I'm telling you, if you don't

get an erection, as a wise man

I can give you advice:

listen to it.

It probably knows

better than you.

Your life is fantastic.

You've got the...

I don't have kids yet,

I haven't had a bypass yet.

( laughs )

You're way ahead of me.

And I salute you,

because most of my friends

have it the other way around.

They have the kids,

then the bypass.

The show was slightly

ahead of its time.

It kicked off all these

other comedies.

Good show.

Do you miss doing the show?

I don't know

who to answer.

I...

I miss doing... did I what?

He keeps looking at my hair

while he's talking.

It's spellbinding.

No, I'm not looking

at your hair.

There's a little thing

called product.

Listen...

Bill Maher:

We're on the internet now,

Garry.

Wow.

( laughing )

I can't tell you the last time

I was this thrilled.

- ( beeping )

- That's my cell phone.

I forgot

to turn it off.

Now, I understand that you box.

Is that right?

I go to this little private gym.

It's next to a synagogue.

And...

I was having a real good--

I've gotten good.

I was beating up a guy...

I... good last week,

and then it turns out

I had gone in the wrong door.

- Mm.

- And...

Really?

I was beating...

( applause )

I'm sorry for the pacing.

And it turns out, I was beating

the crap out of the rabbi.

And I was thinking,

that's a small

head protector he's got.

And, you know, I'm catching him

all over the place

and the crowd is going crazy.

I thought,

"This is what it's about."

And then the cops came in.

The cops came in,

pulled me off him

and they said it's the most

violent Passover service

they'd ever seen.

- Would you ever...

- Commit suicide?

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