The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling Page #13

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Yeah. Well, I guess

it's committing suicide, yeah.

- I've written a note.

- You have?

You have it ready?

No, you haven't

written a note.

- I did.

- Really? What...?

"I'm not mad at anyone.

This is just something

I wanted to do for myself."

( laughs )

That's my suicide note.

Hey, I'm looking for someone

to do the forward for the note.

If you would do it,

that would be fantastic.

"I know Garry

is a very stable man."

Are you writing my forward now?

Is that what you just did?

- Yeah. I'm sorry.

- It's okay.

Well, how would you write--

what forward would you write

for my suicide note?

"The loss to the comedy world

is insurmountable.

But he wasn't doing that much

anyway just before he died,

so maybe it was

the right thing."

- ( laughter )

- Yeah.

Shandling:

Hey, Kevin, it's Garry.

Brother.

Basketball on Sunday.

I hope you can make it.

If the weather's like this,

it'll be really pleasant,

won't it?

( static crackles )

Okay, I can be spacier

than this, my friend...

Radio host:

From NPR News,

this is "Day to Day."

Los Angeles is embroiled in

it's own wire-tapping scandal,

and it has all the makings

of a film noir.

Indictments are flying

in a case

involving private eye

Anthony Pellicano.

He was allegedly paid

to spy on scores

of Hollywood celebrities,

including Keith Carradine,

Sylvester Stallone

and Garry Shandling.

Shandling:

Give me a call

when you get this, bye.

Apatow:

In the period when Garry

was doing the lawsuit,

he used to say, "I think

they're bugging my phone."

I remember there was a guard out

front of his house a long time.

And he put cameras

out front of his house.

And it felt very paranoid.

Everybody thought Garry

was getting paranoid.

And then when Anthony Pellicano

was arrested, years later,

they said that he was

bugging Garry's phone.

And, you know, there was a sigh

of relief that he was actually--

- Being bugged.

- Being bugged. Yeah.

Radio host 1:

Private investigator

Anthony Pellicano

is on trial in federal district

court in Los Angeles.

DeBecker:

Pellicano was a private

investigator

and was making a name for

himself as being the enforcer,

or the guy who could

fix anything.

Radio host 2:

Powerhouse Hollywood attorney

Burt Fields

used Pellicano extensively.

He hasn't been indicted,

but he said he was brought in

for questioning.

He worked for an attorney

named Burt Fields often,

who was the attorney

that was against Garry

in the lawsuit that he brought

against Brad Grey.

Radio host 2:

Paramount chief Brad Grey was

questioned by the grand jury.

Among the scores of victims...

Apatow:

How did they find out

that Pellicano

was connected

to Garry's case?

It all stemmed from my case.

Radio host 3:

Pellicano was accused

of threatening

LA Times reporter

Anita Busch

by having a fish and a rose

placed in her car

along with bullet-sized hole

in the windshield.

Anita Busch:

They raided Pellicano's office.

They ended up finding

reams of wiretaps,

and in that was

the wire-tapping of Garry.

News reporter:

Thousands of hours

of illegal recordings.

Man:

Garry Shandling was subjected

to endless wiretaps.

He kept trying

to figure out how it is

that the people

he was negotiating with

seemed to know his every move

before he did.

And Garry was asked

to testify in the case?

Yes, and "ask"

is the right word,

because you don't

have to do that.

( music playing )

Whenever you worked

with Garry as a lawyer,

you said, "Okay no jokes."

But at the beginning,

as the government lawyer

began with sort of

the standard question,

"What do you do for a living?"

And Garry gave that groan.

"That's a bad sign."

( music playing )

Busch:

The experience through

the Anthony Pellicano case,

that kind of darkness

being around you,

it just affects you.

Being a victim of crime

brings you to your knees,

and it's really hard to get up

and stand up from that.

It doesn't matter who you are

or what status you have.

It's... it's hard

to bring yourself back up.

It's hard to bring

your confidence back up.

It's hard to just

stand again.

He had PTSD.

There's no doubt about it.

And it destroyed his belief

system in all that was good.

It affected him

on a cellular level.

It hurt him mentally.

It hurt his confidence.

It hurt him spiritually.

He really felt after

the Brad lawsuit

and the drama

around Brad that...

that it had hurt him a lot.

He showed me once

two videos.

He said, "Look at that.

That's what I was like.

That's the energy I had before."

And he said, "Look at this."

Man:

Are we rolling?

DeBecker:

And he really felt his energy

had gone down enormously.

Sometimes I don't know

when to be funny.

Because I can be funny

at the drop of a hat,

except sometimes

you can't find a hat.

Then you're f***ed.

O'Brien:

By the time I'm doing

"The Tonight Show..."

So, a big congratulations.

O'Brien:

...I sensed someone

who was really struggling.

...comfortable.

There's no view,

so to say.

No windows.

He was very neurotic.

And I'd go and talk to him

backstage beforehand,

and a lot of notes,

and a lot of half-apologies,

and a lot of, "Maybe I'll do..."

you know?

And me talking... kind of

talking him down off a ledge,

saying-- I said to him, "Garry,

we're just gonna go out there,

and it's gonna be you and me,

and we're gonna have fun."

And he'd be like, "Yes, yes,

that's what I need to hear.

"That's what I need to hear.

Yes, yes, yes, that's good.

That's positive.

I can use that. You're right."

I'm for gay...

I'm okay with gay marriage,

but they're not...

they're letting gay divorce

slide by.

They're not focusing...

I wouldn't want

to see anybody get stuck

in a relationship

that they don't want to be in.

But they're going

to let that slide by,

and they're going to pass

gay marriage

and forget about gay divorce,

and they're going to have

to go through the whole thing

all over again.

You mean there's going to be

a national debate?

"I hate him as much as straight

people hate each other.

We're entitled

to our hatred, too."

This is where you jump in

and help me.

( laughs )

No, no, no.

This is great.

I seem to recall

"The Tonight Show"

about the host helping out.

I remembered feeling,

this is a rocky ride

and then there'd be something

really funny,

but then the audience

would laugh,

and the laugh might not be

where he wanted it to be,

and I could see him

get thrown a little bit.

Like, well, why are they

laughing at that?

Too hyper self-aware.

I have a security camera.

I have a security camera at my

house, but I have it reversed.

I have it... it shoots

my living room

and there's a screen

outside in front

so you can watch as you go by,

because that's how much...

( laughing )

That's how much I love

being on TV.

And then I hear somebody

go by and I go,

"Hey, how are you doing?"

into my security camera.

Into your security camera.

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