The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling Page #14

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That's a very nice

system you have.

I don't remember

being this forced

when I did the show last time.

( music playing )

Berg:

Something definitely

was blocking him.

There were times when he was

almost non-lucid.

Maybe it was drugs or whatever.

But even in those moments there

were these really articulate,

bright, cutting comments

that made it impossible

to gauge, you know,

what was really going on.

I felt like he really was

almost creatively paralyzed

for a long time.

( indistinct chatter )

Johnson:

You brought gifts!

- Silverman:
Whoa.

- Johnson:
Yay!

Okay, I'm not good

at breaking the silence.

I want a little love.

- Oh, yeah, yeah!

- Shandling:
Don't overdo it.

Give me more love.

Isaacson:

He had years

where he would say,

"I just don't feel that well."

You know what it's like

when you get--

- "How do I look?"

- Yeah.

"I don't know

if I'm working out enough.

I think I put on five pounds."

No, this is...

this is not even

in the ballpark.

It's just that I'm a little

heavier than you think I am.

Isaacson:

But there was this

underlying thing

for several years

of him being concerned

that he didn't feel that well.

- ( camera shutters click )

- Photographer:
Awesome.

Good.

- I look good.

- Photographer:
Good, yeah.

- That's nice.

- Now does it look, conceivably,

as though I can't

stand up?

( laughs )

That, as the years have gone by,

I can no longer stand?

- Huh?

- Photographer:
Very strong.

Does it look like

a choice?

Or does it look like

I'm having a stroke?

Look, this is from

talking to Rip.

And this is from telling Rip

that it's going to be okay.

All right, Gar...

That's the only one, right?

You're gonna be

wearing the coat.

I sweat Agent Orange.

I sweat Agent Orange.

That shirt can't be used again.

An actor prepares.

The inside of his jacket's

soaking wet, too.

Man, I'm...

Why am I... I sweat?

Apatow:

Somewhere in there,

he's having a thyroid problem.

But he didn't know

he had it.

He just said,

"It's the exact same feeling

you would think you would get

from aging."

And that he thought,

"Oh, I must be

just getting older."

But really, he was sick.

Grayson:

Yeah, he was ill.

I was with him the day that

he was doubled over in pain.

He goes, "I got to go home.

I can't do this anymore."

And that was when he had

acute pancreatitis.

And they traced it

to his thyroid.

They took out the thyroid,

and he felt better instantly.

And he thought

he was home free.

And then it was apparent that

he had a secondary condition,

which can sometimes happen

if you wait too long.

If this... so, you know,

he might have had

low-threshold pain

for a long time

and was not talking about it.

But he had cysts

on his pancreas.

And so...

And that surgery

is a life-threatening surgery.

Yeah, they have to go

so far internally

to get to the pancreas that it

is one of those major surgeries.

Like open-heart, you know?

( music playing )

Alex Richanbach:

When I first met him,

he was really sick.

And that's a weird way

to get to know a person,

because I didn't know that

this was different for him.

You know?

I just knew that this was, like,

off-camera Garry.

We're going to say

"Merry Christmas"

from Alex Richanbach, and then

you say, "Garry Shandling."

- No, I will not.

- ( laughs )

Two Jews on Christmas...

We were talking about

doing this documentary.

Merry Christmas,

from Alex Richanbach...

- And Garry Shandling.

- ( laughs )

About the secret

Garry Shandling

Sunday basketball game.

And as we were talking

about the documentary,

I kept on meeting

with all these people.

And what I found was, I guess,

people would talk about it

they'd almost tear up,

because it was family,

and Garry was such an important

part of everybody's life.

Shandling:

Come on over here.

I'll show you this.

Or I can bring it there,

if you want.

Why don't we meet halfway?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, David Duchovny gave me this,

and it's a monk...

it's monks playing basketball

in New York.

And so this is the feeling

of the game, isn't it?

Richanbach:

The game evolved

out of the seven-day workweeks

on "Sanders,"

and needing an afternoon

that wasn't in the office.

He used to always say, like,

he wanted it to be

a childlike experience,

where you could just come

and play basketball

and eat pizza and watch TV.

And he got to create the thing

he didn't have growing up,

which was just this day of

playing basketball every week

with friends.

Apatow:

And when he was going in

for the major pancreas surgery,

he was getting

his estate in order.

He really thought

there was a chance

he wasn't going

to get through it.

Do you remember how he prepared

or how he talked about it?

Richanbach:

Basically he was like,

"This could be it.

"I could die on the table.

"And so I need to let you know

that the next, you know,

"six weeks or so

could be the last six weeks.

"So we should hang out and we

should do some fun things,

"and hopefully the surgery

just makes me feel better,

but maybe it won't."

He did a really good job

of focusing himself

on those kind of tenets

of Buddhism

and trying to be at peace

with what he was going into.

But to that point,

I think it was so that

he would survive it.

You know, he wanted

to survive it.

( music playing )

Richanbach:

The Garry Shandling.

What up, Alex?

I had...

I think I'm going to be able

to play basketball,

like, within...

tonight if not

tomorrow night.

I can't make myself laugh,

so this would work out.

( clears throat )

It's good when you have some

time in the hospital

to think about the things

that you need to get done.

So I can...

you know, get some

new basketballs and a...

a net.

Should get a net.

And...

can't wait to get

on the court.

Pete Holmes:

It's a silly place to start

because it's so blunt,

but we always

talk about death.

Like, what do you think

is death?

And you think

it's just the end?

Shandling:

Let me... let me assure you,

and this isn't a joke,

is the older I get,

the more often I think,

am I-- "Are we there yet?"

( Holmes laughs )

Holmes:

Meaning you are ready?

Or just,

this is a long trip?

Shandling:

Both.

It's like if you were

on a car trip

going across the country

or something,

and as you get closer,

you can sense that

you're getting closer.

I used to say, "Life is short,

but not short enough."

( Holmes laughs )

You know, he kept on...

he was fragile

in that year afterwards.

And then he started

to come out of that fragileness.

And he actually was thinking

about calling games.

I think he called one game,

to tell you the truth.

He was really actually

getting better--

you know,

trying to get better.

He was determined

to get better.

( indistinct chatter )

Man:

Have an idea what order

you want to do it?

Well, it's going to go Whitney,

me, Whitney, Garry,

and then depends on--

depending on if Louis shows up

or how much he wants to do...

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