The Zen Diaries of Garry Shandling Page #4

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He said, "Now look,

you cannot prepare for this.

"You cannot-- these are not

about learning your lines.

You have to let it come."

You have to...

You have to--

That was a big,

big wake-up call.

And actually changed...

I think probably

changed my fabric.

They were talking to Larry.

He sends his best.

Great. And...the shoes

aren't right.

- Look at the shoes.

- What's wrong with them?

This is not right. You know?

And I ordered some--

( crying )

Should I be concerned?

Hmm?

Don't make me do this, okay?

I just can't do this.

I'm not up...

I'm not up to this.

Don't make me.

Oh, come on.

Paula's out there.

She's waiting to go over

the guest questions with you.

I'll be a few feet away

at the monitor.

We're just so thrilled for you.

We just want

to support you, buddy.

- What if I suck?

- Never!

( laughing )

No? Yeah.

What if I suck?

I mean, after all this time,

I finally get my chance,

and what if I suck?

I mean, you know,

I'm serious.

Maybe I shouldn't

get my chance,

and then I don't have

to find out I suck.

Breathe in.

- What if I suck?

- Let it out.

( exhales shakily )

What if I suck?

Ready?

No.

Breathe in.

( inhales shakily )

Let it out.

( sighs )

Ready?

No.

Mark.

Tambor:

We actually developed

some things where

we didn't cut, remember?

- Were you above my...ass?

- Man:
We're rolling.

- Because Garry would

wander away if we cut.

- Wander.

Where's... the constant lament

was, "Where's Garry?"

Man 1:

Back from lunch, still rolling.

man 2:

Come on, we're still rolling.

Tambor:

And you guys figured out

if you don't cut,

he has to stay.

They also put a buzzer on his

script, which was in a binder,

because he always lost it.

So, they-- like, they taped some

buzzer so you'd have a button.

And it would buzz somewhere,

and people would just, like,

look for the buzzing.

( laughs )

Penny Johnson:

Garry was good at knowing

that what he was a part of

was bigger than him.

Something else was there

to make this chemistry

of players bind,

and that was the love.

Now, he may have given you guys

hell in the writers' room,

but there was nothing but love

and collaboration

with us players.

I loved your material,

particularly this prison joke.

Punishing criminals by making

the prison bars horizontal,

- so the prisoners feel fatter.

- Feel fatter.

- Larry does all

the punch lines around here.

- Whoops.

Sarah Silverman:

I was 24,

and my friend brought me

to basketball.

And I just started playing

basketball here on Sundays.

- I mean, I lived for Sundays.

- Judd:
Yeah.

Apatow:

When Garry built the house,

he was so excited to build

the basketball court.

Silverman:

And I think he loved

the camaraderie.

Apatow:

He had pretty good game.

He did. I mean,

it was great guarding him,

because he very rarely

went on the inside.

- You didn't have

to run around too much.

- Yeah.

Let me be clear. Anything you're

uncomfortable with, we change.

Anything you'd rather say, say.

Silverman:

You know, the scripts

were so brilliant,

and he would still say,

"Say whatever you want.

I mean, all that's important

is that you get

the spirit of this scene

across."

I'm sorry?

Silverman:

So, it wasn't that he...

- I'm sorry, once more?

- Silverman:
...was so precious

- Steven Wright.

- Yes.

Silverman:

...with every single thing,

but he just wanted it

to be right,

and for it to be right

was very specific to him.

- Hey, Larry.

- Hey, how are you doing?

- Good, how are you doing?

- Good to see you.

David Duchovny:

The first moment

that I met him was,

we did a take, and it was

half written, half improvised.

You know, it's not like

I was begging to be on the show.

You guys have been asking me

to be on the show for months.

I didn't come here just

to stick my thumb up my ass.

I've got to go talk to Hank.

Will you excuse me one second?

- I'll talk to him.

- No, I'll talk.

Duchovny:

For me, it was like

being knighted.

It was such an important moment

where this guy that I thought

was a comic genius

said to me,

"Hey, you know,

I get what you're doing."

So, it gave me

a lot of confidence,

just that one moment.

Apatow:

Because you hadn't done

a lot of comedy before?

No, not intentionally, anyway.

Oh!

Duchovny:

Then we became friends,

and then it was just like ideas

that either he or I would have.

The idea that I had

a crush on him,

I think I just said

during basketball one time.

You may have even been there

and not listening.

I don't know what it was.

But I said, it would be funny

if I had a crush on you,

but it's not sexual.

He said, "I don't understand

that, but it's funny."

Well, I'm sorry I'm not going

to be on the show with you.

What are you talking about?

My agent called,

said the network went ballistic,

and they put me back on

with Jon Stewart.

Goddamn it. Sh*t.

Why?

They're just not supposed

to do that. Goddamn it!

( shushing )

God, you're really upset,

aren't you?

God, you really care

about me, don't you?

Duchovny:

That was, to me,

it was like bravery

about the whole thing thing.

- I'll see you.

- See you later.

Oh, hi, Darlene.

Hi, Larry.

Linda Doucett:

The show became

art imitating life.

A lot of our situations

and things came into play.

You know, I've learned

the hard way, Darlene,

that office relationships

are inappropriate, and...

- Screw him.

- Yeah, well,

it's not like

it's a dog...

Doucett:

When you're starring,

you're show-running,

you're writing,

you're parodying the dark side

of your own personal life.

It's a lot.

So, it became

very difficult,

because we were having a human

spiritual experience,

and I wanted to become

more of a mother.

And...

( sighs )

Is this where I can cry?

I guess.

( both laugh )

So it wasn't, like...

it's like our paths changed.

I think the thought of losing

a child, to him...

He lost a brother.

And his mother, you know,

I think she went a little crazy

because of that.

So, you know,

children became an issue

for Garry.

When you have the cystic

fibrosis illness

in your family,

you have a chance

of carrying that gene.

I think it was more about,

if he loved a child so much,

what if the child died

like his brother died?

Apatow:

Well, that's complicated.

He doesn't want

to have children, you do.

But now you're also working

on the television show together.

Ugh!

Apatow:

So you're tied together at work.

Work.

And then,

after Garry and I broke up,

my agent called

and said I was fired.

But you have to understand

that there were so many people

advising him now,

that the human personal

experience is now removed.

It's business.

It seemed like Garry

didn't understand

that when you guys broke up,

that you're not allowed to fire

your ex-fiance

from her show.

You know, it's amazing

how we started off mocking,

you know, the industry,

and then we fell prey to it.

You know?

Man:

We're rolling.

Shandling:

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