Theodora Goes Wild Page #10

Hush, Jonathan.

Well, well. A delightful party.

I have just had the most fascinating dance.

Allow me to present Miss...

-Adams.

-Yes, yes, Miss Adams.

Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Grant.

-How do you do?

-How do you do?

-How do you do?

-And the Michael Grants.

-How do you do?

-So nice, Miss Adams.

How do you do?

It is a delightful party, isn't it?

I don't know when

I've enjoyed myself so much.

-And the governor dances divinely.

-Thank you. Thank you.

Give me a charming lady to dance

with and, well, I'm young again.

Well, there we are again, Miss Adams.

May I have the pleasure of this dance,

Miss Adams?

Young blood trying to force

an old boy on the sidelines?

You may not have this dance, my boy.

It's mine.

Miss Adams is my discovery

and I am going to keep her.

Keep an eye out for my wife, please.

-Well?

-Leave it to me.

-Oh, I'm sorry.

-Oh, it's quite all right. Quite all right.

-Governor, you are very cruel.

-How so?

Well, I'm simply expiring to dance with you

and you've no use for me whatever.

The next one is yours, my dear.

Well, I'm afraid I can't wait, Governor.

Would you mind very much?

Well, naturally I would,

but then of course I know just how you feel.

Oh, thank you.

Do you remember this tune, Mr. Grant?

Shall I sing it and you whistle?

If you so much as open your mouth...

How did you get in here?

Well, now, if that isn't the funniest thing.

You know, I said to myself,

"l bet Michael is going to ask me

how I got in here."

How did you get in here?

Michael, dear, this is hardly the place.

Will you tell me?

Well, the Stevensons had invitations

and decided not to come.

-So I just said to myself...

-Come on out here.

-That's my elbow.

-It's too bad it isn't your neck.

-Would you mind, Mr. Grant?

-No, no.

I'd be delighted. Is this all right?

I'm sorry. I've just met the lady with whom

I've been connected so much in the papers

and I'd like to make her acquaintance.

I'd also like the privacy of the garden

for a few moments, if you don't mind.

-Go right ahead.

-It's your garden. Go ahead.

Don't catch cold.

You're here to start something.

What are you here to do?

-Do?

-Don't tell me.

Wherever you are these days,

something happens.

Why, Michael.

Now listen to me, Theodora,

if you cause any scandal here tonight,

I'll never speak to you again in this lifetime.

That also goes if you aren't out

of this house in two minutes.

It also goes if you aren't out of my apartment

and outside of New York in two days.

Is that clear?

-Do you mean all that big speech?

-I mean every word of it.

-That I'm to go back to Lynnfield?

-To Lynnfield.

-And wait?

-And wait.

Then this is goodbye, Michael?

Yes, but there's no need to go to pieces,

especially here.

Oh, I'm all right. I'll go. I'll go back.

But I would like to have something

to remember you by.

-Sure. Sure, anything.

-A kiss?

Not here. When I see you off,

I'll come down to the train.

-But you won't. You'll be afraid.

-No. Yes, I will.

-Well, you won't.

-But I will.

Thank you, Miss Adams.

Why, you lowlife sneaks.

You dirty, double-crossing...

If you print that picture,

I'll break your necks.

If you print that picture, I'll skin you alive.

I'll track you down to the...

And as for you, if I ever said I loved you...

What's going on here?

The notorious Caroline Adams, novelist,

in the arms of my husband.

-Who?

-Yes, that's right. Isn't that nice?

Jed, this is hot.

"Mrs. Michael Grant sues for divorce,

branding Caroline Adams love thief."

Henry, we use the red ink on this one.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy,

oh, boy, oh, boy.

Yes, siree. Hot diggety dog.

-Two in a row.

-Pride of Lynnfield.

The brazen hussy.

I only hope that Mary and Elsie

are bearing up. That's all I hope.

Jed. Jed.

Shoot. What now?

Associated dispatch.

"Caroline Adams vanishes."

What? You don't mean it.

-Rebecca.

-Rebecca.

No trace of Lynnfield's famous daughter

in seven days.

John, stop your gabbing, John.

Do you know where Theodora is

or don't you?

Why, I'm surprised you even bother

about Theodora.

After all her scandalous behavior.

What's so scandalous about it?

Fine time for a wild old buzzard like you

to turn moral. Hypocrite.

The old skate.

Elsie, where do you suppose she is?

Have you seen the baby?

Yes, he's a whopper. A face like a full moon.

Thanks for coming up, Theodora.

Oh, don't be silly. I had nothing else to do.

I brought someone with me.

He's standing right outside the door.

Your baby's papa. Roger.

Go on, stupid. Go on.

Lynn, Miss Lynn.

"Plan to arrive Saturday on the 10:15. Love."

What do you know about that?

Well, who's it from, idiot?

Theodora. Theodora.

Clarence, this is a private telegram.

Don't go spreading it

to the whole of Lynnfield.

Me? Why, I'm surprised at you, Mary Lynn.

Oh, we'll welcome her, all right.

I for one am going to stay right indoors

and pull down my blinds.

And when she finds herself

coming into an empty depot,

I hope she'll understand

she isn't wanted in Lynnfield.

We have the solemn word

of every man, woman and child in Lynnfield

that nobody will set foot

in the direction of that depot.

How are you, Harry? Hello, Eddie. Great day.

The decorations are nice,

don't you think, Mary?

Only there ain't enough of them.

How are you, Elsie Lynn, Mary Lynn?

How are the two oracles?

Let me shake hands with you.

-Nice day, Jed.

-Greatest day in the world, Mary.

Great day for Lynnfield.

Great day for Lynnfield.

Quite a turnout, eh?

You know,

I always knew Theodora had it in her.

How do you do? How do you do?

How do you do? How do you do?

Well, I got to thinking it might be better

to come and just stare at her.

Till she drops through the ground

for shame.

Well, look who's here.

Lynnfield's Literary Circle.

Jed, Jed Waterbury,

who brought this band here?

I did, Rebecca Perry.

Now you get a lawyer and try to stop me

from spending my own money any way I like.

Here she comes, lads, here she comes.

On your toes. On your toes. Now watch me.

Let 'er go!

Welcome home, Theodora. Welcome home.

Suffering cats.

-Where did she get it, Grandma?

-You go home and stay home.

On your toes, me lads, on your toes.

You'd think they'd never seen

a baby in their lives.

So help me Hannah. This town gets

more narrow-minded every day.

He is darling, isn't he, Aunt Mary?

-It's all right, Adelaide.

-Are you sure?

Sure. Nobody will see us.

Oh, so you're bored, sissy?

Well, snap out of it!

She'll be here in a minute.

Come on. Come on, get up here.

Get up here and let's rehearse our speech.

Now listen, you're Theodora and I'm Michael.

Theodora, darling.

Theodora, darling, I am free and I thank you.

I've never met so many people in all my life.

Theodora, we are free...

Michael. Michael.

Michael.

Michael, wait a minute.

-No, you don't. Shut the door.

-Michael!

Michael, what's the matter with you?

Michael. Michael. Michael.

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