Theodora Goes Wild Page #8

Yes, hello, Clarence. Yes, go ahead. Yeah.

Yeah. No. No.

Yeah. Is that all?

Boys, do you remember that type we used

when war was declared?

Dust it off, boys. Dust it off. It's war.

War, I'm telling you, it's war.

Mary. Mary!

Mary!

It's war!

Civilization is marching on Lynnfield.

Oh, Theodora, I thank you.

I thank you. I thank you.

On every front page in New York

she's giving your address, your apartment.

How long before they'll know

it's your apartment?

Call the police and have her thrown out.

With all New York looking on?

That will be nice publicity

for the governor's reception.

You're marvelous, Michael.

Here is a notorious woman.

Did you read what she says about herself?

"Hidden away in a hamlet,

her soul enslaved."

-A woman leading a double life.

-lf not triple.

Yes. And you have to go up in the country

and get in the middle of it.

He was sketching it.

If this gets out, the governor will have fits.

Not to mention

the disgrace to the name of Grant.

You know, if this woman's really out

to break up our marriage, Michael,

maybe you and I ought to root for her.

You sit tight, Agnes, and do as you're told.

That'll be splendid, but let me say this.

If this woman really starts after Michael

and it's talked about all over town

and I'm made to look

like a foolish deceived wife,

I'll have to do something to save my face.

And I'll most certainly bring divorce action

against Michael immediately.

Did you hear that, Michael?

Yes.

-Pardon me.

-Pardon me.

-Pardon me.

-Pardon me.

-Pardon me.

-Pardon me.

-I beg your pardon.

-I beg yours, sir.

I have this to say

to the modern young girl, gentlemen,

be free, express yourself. Take your life

in your own hands and mold it.

The world will try to rob you

of your freedom,

but fight for it.

It's all you have to live for.

-Miss Adams.

-Just relax.

That's all for the modern girl, gentlemen.

What else? Ask me anything.

Have you started a new book, Miss Adams?

Well, no, I haven't.

But I have it pretty well in mind.

Well, would you care

to say something about it?

I'd love to. It's about how love came

to a girl in a small New England town.

Outwardly, she seemed to belong

to that narrow benighted little community,

but in her heart,

she longed to be called baby.

Out of the great big city,

there came to this little hamlet

the man who did call her baby.

From there on, gentlemen,

the story warms up.

-Oh, Miss Adams.

-Just relax, sister.

I haven't quite finished it yet,

but I guarantee it for interest,

if you know what I mean.

Would that be the story of your life,

Miss Adams?

-Oh, well, I shouldn't wonder.

-And who would the man be?

The man? Oh, now, come now, gentlemen.

A lady is entitled to one secret.

-Miss Adams.

-Just relax, and by the way, Miss Adams,

is this Michael Grant's apartment?

Michael Grant, did you...

Well, yes, this is Michael Grant's apartment.

I was just getting to that.

It's a very interesting story, gentlemen.

Uncle John, Uncle John, come in.

Mr. John Lynn, the gentlemen of the press.

Uncle limps a little with the gout.

Brought it on himself.

The only Lynn I'm proud of.

Theodora, may I have

a word in private with you?

Oh, certainly.

I'm afraid that's all for today, gentlemen.

But what about Grant and this apartment?

You were going to tell us

the story about that.

Has Grant anything to do with the big bad

man from the city who called you baby?

Well, now, couldn't we save that

until tomorrow?

But don't be far off, will you?

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Now, if you please, Miss Adams.

Didn't you hear me say that I wanted to

have a private word with my niece?

-I beg your pardon.

-I beg yours.

How's tricks, Uncle?

Come on, snooksie. Get up.

Go on, run along, boy. Sit down.

Theodora, you're terrific.

It's just about what you'd planned for me,

isn't it, darling?

You exceed my wildest hopes.

Do you know what your aunts wired?

Those two delightful old relics? No. What?

"Theodora's gone wild."

-Tut, tut, I haven't started.

-Now just tell me this.

-ls everything all right?

-Fine.

-Feet on the ground?

-Both feet.

I knew it.

A Lynn may go wild, but never silly.

Now, do you mind telling

your nosey old uncle

what made all this happen?

What makes the world go round, darling?

Say no more. I think I just saw the rascal.

That's the guy that banged the door

on the way out.

Oh, he'll come back. How's Adelaide?

It's about time to send her up to that home.

Oh, then she's going this week.

And I'm going to tell that funny little

old husband of hers

that he's going to be a papa.

Good.

Now, how about us going out

and painting the town red?

I'm ready and raring to go.

When do we start?

That's the next thing on the program.

It's true that at present Miss Adams

is residing in my apartment.

But in case you're tempted to publish

any conclusion

regarding my relationship with Miss Adams,

let me warn you...

Please be advised.

Please be advised that I have never had

the pleasure of meeting the lady.

Having never been in Lynnfield in my life.

I think that's smart in case they try

to tie me up with that

-"man who came and called her baby" story.

-Very good.

And furthermore, the only thing

I have in common with Miss Adams

is our friendship with Mr. Arthur Stevenson.

During a recent fishing trip,

Mr. Stevenson wired me and asked

if Miss Adams could have the use

of my apartment while she was in New York.

I was more than glad to accommodate.

Paragraph. The above facts can be verified

by telephoning Mr. Arthur Stevenson.

All right, Miss Baldwin.

Get that out to the papers

and all the news services as fast as you can.

Yes, sir.

I could kill that woman

with my two bare hands.

Excuse my laughing, Michael.

I know this is very tragic to you

and your magnificent family.

But it's awfully funny to me.

-What's awfully funny?

-Yes, what's so funny about it?

Why, here's this carefree rollicking spirit

who's been going around for years

sticking his nose in everybody's business

and now he's finally got it caught

in a meat grinder.

Yeah. Very funny.

See that your nose doesn't

get caught in it, my pet.

Who, me? Why, what are you talking about?

It's all perfectly clear to me.

That adorable young thing

is an unholy terror on wheels.

There's nothing in the world more deadly

than innocence on the manhunt.

Why, sweetheart,

you don't think for one minute...

No, I'm telling you, my love.

You get on guard and stay on guard.

On account of little Ethie won't stand

for any fancy steps from her ducky-wucky.

You get funnier by the minute, darling.

-Hello.

-Hello, Arthur angel.

I've got full steam up

and you're my only hope for the evening.

Uncle caved in

and Michael is off moping somewhere.

Hello, Mr. Green.

There's someone there.

That's right, dear, don't give us away.

Shall we say 7:
30 for dinner?

Why, I haven't had a chance

to read that contract yet, Mr. Green.

I'm afraid I couldn't discuss it

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes