They Came Together Page #2

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How about we take a gander

at those documentos?

- Yes, please.

- Right.

So, Molly, how is your love life?

You livin' la vida loca?

Um, well, not really,

Eggman. I'm guessing

you heard that Frank and

I finally broke up.

I did hear. Yeah.

I heard about your

divorce. I'm sorry.

Apology accepted.

- I...

- It's just one of those things.

We wanted different things.

I wanted a family, settle

down, start a life together.

- And what did she want?

- Who can say?

I guess you'd have

to ask my brother.

Oh.

- Is he here? Can I ask him?

- Yes. Keith.

- You have a second?

- What's up?

Hey, Keith. I was just wondering,

what did Hillary want that was

different than what Eggbert wanted?

Uh, she just wanted to

travel more, she wanted

to focus on her

photo-journalism career.

And marriage just wasn't

conducive to that.

- Thanks, Keith.

- Thanks, Keith.

Listen, I am lookin'

over these numbers,

and just goin' off this data...

- You have breast cancer.

- What?

Corporately speaking.

Oh. Oh.

Your business has, at

best, six months to live.

- Oh, my God, are you serious?

- See for yourself.

Wow. You are serious.

Listen, Molly, would this

be an awkward time to

ask if maybe you'd like to

go out with me sometime?

Um...

Don't answer. Just think about it.

That's very sweet of you, Eggfart, but I

think I'm just gonna focus on me for now.

Totally. You've gotta take

time for yourself, you know.

- I think maybe I should go...

- No, please. I think I'm gonna go...

- Oh, you're gonna go?

- Yeah.

Before I proposed to Tiffany,

I wanted to run it by my buddies

that I play ball with at the local

playground. They always tell it like it is.

Basketball, basketball,

basketball...

Hey, guys. Looks like

our buddy Joel here

is finally gettin' ready

to pop the question.

Pretty great, right?

Hey, don't ask me. I can hardly commit

to a second date half the time.

If you know what I mean! Watch out!

Swish!

I think love is really

abstract, you know?

It's like a summer breeze. You

can't see it, but you can feel it.

Mr. Poet. Look at you, always

with your head in the clouds.

Gloves make a poor present

for a man with no hands.

Okay, that's enough.

Come on. Are you guys kiddin' me?

The point of love is to get laid,

if you catch my meaning.

And I'm talkin' about sexual

intercourse. Two points!

Swish!

Do not listen to

Mr. Chronically-single-

always-dating-some-new-

hot-chick guy!

Being married is great. That's

the point of view I represent.

Deb and I have been

married for eight years,

and it's better now

than when we first met.

Swish!

Oh, okay, Mr. Has-to-go-home-early-

'cause-he-can't-hang-out-

with-the-boys-

'cause-he's-gotta-

spend-time-with-his-wife guy.

Yeah, that's right.

You get it now, Mr. Combines-traits-

that-each-of-us-represents-

and-all-you-need-to-do-

is-put-it-all-together

-and-you'll-be-just-fine guy?

You know what? You guys make a lot

of sense. I'm gonna go propose.

Swish!

Hey, wait!

Thanks, guys.

Hello?

Tiffany?

Hello?

Hello?

Tiffany?

Hello?

Tiffany?

Hello?

Ah! Tiffany?

Uh...

I've been thinking a lot

about our relationship.

Oh, like that. And

I think we have hit that point where

it's time to talk about the next step.

Oh, God! Oh, God!

A little nervous.

Tiffany Amber Thigpen,

will you marry me?

- Joel?

- Tiffany?

- Hey, Joel.

- Trevor?

Joel, I've been having an affair

with Trevor for over a year now.

How could you do this to me?

Look, I didn't want you to find

out like this. I can explain.

It's not what it looks like.

Wait! Joel!

Sh*t!

Taxi!

Hey, give me another one.

And make it a double.

- You look like you've had a bad day.

- Yeah. Tell me about it.

Well, you came in here looking like

crap, and you haven't said very much.

You can say that again.

Well, you came in here looking like

crap, and you haven't said very much.

Tell me about it.

Well, you came in here looking like

crap, and you haven't said very much.

Yeah, you can say that again.

Well, you came in here looking like

crap, and you haven't said very much.

Tell me about it.

Well, you came in here looking like

crap, and you haven't said very much.

Yeah, you can say that again.

Well, you came in here looking like

crap, and you haven't said very much.

Tell me about it.

Well, you came in here looking like

crap, and you haven't said very much.

Yeah, you can say that again.

Well, you came in here looking like

crap, and you haven't said very much.

Tell me about it.

Well, you came in here

looking like...

Okay. We get the point.

So what happened next?

I was just devastated.

So the next morning

I went for a jog with my

crazy younger brother, Jake.

Huge bummer about Tiffany,

bro'. If you're really hurting

I can stay at your place for a few more

months, just to make sure you're okay.

Little brother, when are you gonna

get your act together and get a job?

I do have a job. I'm the President

and CEO of The Bacon Boot.

We're the fastest-growing edible boot

company in the whole entire country!

Your Bacon Boot company

consists of you

and the business cards you printed

up, funded by yours truly.

Aw, for Pete's sake! Why are you always

tryin' to shoot me down, big brother?

Look, I've gotta start

somewhere, don't I?

Hey, look, it's okay to dream big,

but dreams aren't gonna

put cash in your pocket.

- Yes, but big brother...

- Hey, no "buts."

Look, I have a dream, too. I

want to open my own coffee shop.

But at least I understand that

money doesn't grow on trees.

What...

It's not always so easy when

your big brother is Mr. Perfect.

Hey, wait up, would you?

Joel, you're not gonna like this.

Roland gave Trevor the

Dickricker account.

And now you're the point person on

that new candy Superstore venture.

That rat! First he steals my girlfriend,

then he steals the Dickricker account!

Oh, hey, Joel. Sorry about

the Dickricker account.

Looks like you won't be getting

that promotion after all.

Why don't you just

take a jerk, you hike!

Oh, and Tiffany wanted me to

say hi. We live together now.

She really said hi?

What she actually said was,

"Oh, God, Trevor, don't stop.

"Your dick is so fat and

greasy and amazing."

"Greasy and amazing," and

then he went on to say,

"Trevor, you have such

a hot, throbbing cock"

"and I want to get all

juicy on your cock."

Okay. So when is the part

where the two of you meet?

Ah, right. That was the

same day that I got

a phone call from my

best friend, Brenda.

- Hello?

- Hi, Molly.

I just wanted to tell you that Bob and I

are having a Halloween party on Saturday,

and the fun part is, Bob's inviting a

friend of his who's the Triple Crown,

he's straight, single and cute.

You should totally come.

Plus Brenda's bringing a friend who's

apparently very cute and very single.

I don't know, Bob. I'll tell

you, Halloween scares me.

Ghosts I'm fine with, ghouls

and goblins, not so much.

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