They Came Together Page #4

---

In fact, fiction books is one

of my favorite kinds of books.

- You have to be kidding me!

- Do you like fiction?

Like it? Try "love it"!

Oh, my God. That's crazy!

I've never met anyone else who

likes fiction! That is too funny.

That is literally too funny.

Well, uh...

I should probably get going.

Yeah, sure. We've got...

I've got books.

Yeah. All right.

- Joel, wait!

- Hmm.

Yeah?

I might have judged you

too harshly at the party.

I know this sounds crazy, but would you

like to have a me of coffee with cup?

What?

Do you want a cup

of me with koo-fie?

Would you like to have a cup

of moffie with kee? With me.

A cup of coffee. With hoo.

What the f*** are you saying?

Do you want to have coffee with me?

I think you're asking me if I'd like

to have a cup of coffee with you.

Yes. Thank you. That's

what I'm trying to ask.

Coffee sounds great.

Half-caf decaf.

No foam, hold the foam, no cream...

What happened to just a good

old fashioned cup of coffee?

- I know. It's all so confusing!

- It is! It is so confuse.

That's how you say

"confusing" in France.

What are we doin'?

Oh, my God, this is all

happening so fast.

I can't.

My Aunt Flo is visiting.

You're on your period?

No. My Aunt Flo is

visiting me from Florida.

Hey, Aunt Flo.

How about we get that coffee, huh?

So what will you have?

Um, I'll have a low-fat,

sugar-free banana yogurt muffin.

Okay.

But if they don't have that, I'll

have half a poppy-seed muffin,

if they can take out all the

poppy seeds and heat it up.

- Okay.

- Hold on!

If they can't heat it up, then

leave half the poppy seeds in

and sprinkle the other half of the poppy

seeds on one half of a blueberry muffin

and then cut both halves in

half, and throw them both away.

- Oh.

- In either scenario,

I want a lemon-chocolate loaf,

but this is very important,

it must be shrink-wrapped.

And more importantly,

it must smell more like lemon

than chocolate. Got it?

That's how you order a muffin?

What? I want things

the way I want them.

You're pretty adorable when

you get all fussy like that.

May I help who's next?

Yes. Okay, so she'll have a low-fat,

sugar-free banana yogurt muffin.

If you don't have that, then

half of a poppy-seed muffin

with the poppy seeds

taken out and heated up.

If you can't heat it up, then

take half the poppy seeds out

and sprinkle the other half on top

of the half of a blueberry muffin,

cut both halves in half, and

then throw them both away.

In either scenario, she'll

have a lemon-chocolate loaf,

but, and this is really important,

only if it's shrink-wrapped.

And even more importantly, if it

smells more like lemon than chocolate.

And I'll have a coffee, please.

Great. Coffee to number three!

Who are you?

- You know what I like?

- What?

Q-tips.

- Me, too.

- You do?

The kind with the pieces

of cotton at each end?

Yeah, those are the

only kind I know.

What's your favorite color?

Blue. What's your favorite TV show?

Oh, God, you know which

one I can't stand,

but watch all the time and

kind of love secretly?

"Lifestyles of the

Rich and Famous."

Look at these two right here. "Hey,

look. I got a brand new phone."

"What is that, an iPhone?" "Yeah,

I've gotta go to the Apple Store..."

- You're good at that.

- "...and wait in line."

Communism could work. It really could. But

what they're doing now isn't communism,

it's totalitarianism

dressed up as communism.

I agree.

Have you ever given

yourself a pap smear?

No.

- I was just... Because of the Q-tips.

- Mmm. That's sweet.

- Let me try it.

- All right, you go.

"Hey..."

I can't do it.

You know, I have a dream

that someday I wanna

have my own coffee

place, "A Cup of Joel."

You know, as in "Cup of Joe",

but I would say "Joel"...

- Right.

- Because everyone knows "Cup of Joe",...

- Sure. - ...but it's "Cup of Joel"

because my name is Joel.

- Smart. I get it.

- So Joel instead of Joe.

I don't know. It's probably

just wishful thinking, right?

It's kind of stupid.

No! It's not stupid, it's great!

You should do that.

Tiffany always said

that was a dumb idea.

Well, I don't know Tiffany, but

she sounds like a stupid b*tch.

Uh...

Forget it.

- What?

- No, I...

No. Come on, tell me.

Are you hungry?

Hungry? Why don't

you try "starving."

Why don't I have

you over for dinner.

I'll make my world-famous

Mac 'n Cheese.

'Kay.

I like how you say "'kay."

I like how you say, "I

like how you say "'kay.'"

Molly, where have you been?

I've been worried sick.

Who are you?

Joel, this is my older

sister, Katherine.

- Katherine, this is Joel.

- Hi.

Don't "hi" me, Joel. You're

just like all the others.

Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.

- Hi, Mommy.

- Hi!

You have a kid?

Don't worry, Joel. His

dad's out of the picture.

He's doing T-I-M-E in jail.

Tucker, this is my friend, Joel.

Hi, Mr. Joel. Are you my new daddy?

Oh!

Hey, buddy, I see you've got

on some Pokemon pajamas.

Yeah.

My favorite one is Smeargle.

You know why?

Because he can defend

Butterfree's Hyper Reverse Attack

with two double

colorless energy cards

and only get 10 damage points.

You know about Pokemon?

You're cool, Mr. Joel!

I think you're cool, Tucker.

What is... Wait a minute.

What is that in your ear? What?

That's for you.

Wow! A cheeseburger, Mommy!

Wow! Go eat that in bed.

Goodnight, Mom. Goodnight, Daddy.

I mean "Joel".

Oh!

Oh.

I think he likes you.

I think I like him.

Dinner was delicious, Molly.

Here. A little chilly...

Joel, can I tell you something?

Sure. What is it?

If I was ever about to marry

someone, and then realized

that I didn't want to do it,

you know where I would go?

Ah, random guess, but Boston?

No. The Brooklyn Promenade.

Where I can look out over the city.

It's very comforting.

What you're saying to me is that

if you were to ever get married

and then decide at the last minute that

you didn't want to marry that person

- you would go to the Brooklyn Promenade.

- Yes. You see where I'm going with this?

I think so. Yeah.

I believe in fate, Joel.

And If we were meant to be

together, then we will be.

- Hi.

- Hey.

I can't do this.

Why? What did I do?

I'm sorry.

It's just that Tiffany, my ex, used

to say that exact same thing to me.

- She used to say "hey"?

- Yeah.

And I'm not so sure I'm ready

for this kind of thing...

No, I understand. I didn't

want to kiss you anyway.

I like you. It's just the way

you said "hey" like that...

Goodnight, Joel.

Hey, no, look, Molly...

Molly, wait... Look.

I think you're great.

I just need a little time.

You think you're the only

person that's ever been hurt?

Do you think it was easy for me

to watch Frank go Downward Dog

on the yoga instructor while

they were lying on my mat?

- My mat, Joel.

- I didn't know.

You don't know anything! I can't even

do yoga any more. I only do Pilates.

Good night.

Molly...

Molly, wait!

Sh*t!

I knew at that very moment that

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes