They Came Together Page #6

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I'm so happy that we're driving up

to the country to see my parents.

- I'm afraid they're not gonna like me.

- You're crazy. They're gonna love you.

- Hey! Hi!

- Hey!

Oh.

- Hi, Daddy.

- Hi, sweetheart.

This is Joel.

- How you doin'?

- Hello, sir.

He's so cute, Molly.

Look at those dimples.

Yeah, I know.

So, Joel, this is where

we'll be dining tonight.

Hmm, I guess that's

why they call it

"the dining room".

Isn't that funny?

You know, yeah, it is funny.

Want to see me naked, Joel?

See anything you like?

Take me, Joel.

Shag me rotten.

But I'm in love with

your daughter, Mrs...

Whatever Molly's last name is.

Good answer! You did it, Joel.

He did it, you guys!

Yeah.

You're the first boyfriend I

ever had to pass the test!

I'm very impressed,

Joel. Very impressed.

Uh, thanks.

I have watched many, many

of Molly's boyfriends

bend my wife over that sideboard

- and flunk the hell out of this test!

- Oh.

Can I take the test again?

Please? Come on, I

wanna f*** your mom.

I think I like you, Joel.

I think I like you, too.

I think they like you.

I want to make a toast. To my

beautiful white daughter, Molly.

Hear, hear.

Wait, what?

She is beautiful, isn't she, Joel?

Skin pure as the driven snow.

Completely unmongrelized.

Uh...

My beautiful Aryan princess, Molly.

To Molly.

Thanks, Mama.

What the f***?

Joel, have you ever thought

about how white people

should be proud of their heritage,

just like other people are?

No.

Do you realize because

of the race mixers

white people are now the

minority in this country?

It's a good point.

Guys, let's not bore Joel.

Justin, how's school?

How could you not tell me that your

parents were white supremacists?

- I didn't think it was important, Joel.

- Not important? Are you kidding?

"Oh, hi, Mom. It's me, Joel. Guess

what? I'm dating this great girl.

"Her name's Molly.

- By the way, she's a Nazi."

- So they're a little eccentric!

I love you for who you are, Joel.

Why can't you do the same?

Let me guess. The next

thing you're about to say

is that it's really

hard making this work

because my job entails running

your business out of business!

Yes, that is exactly

what I was going to say.

Tiffany, would you just

calm down for a second!

Oh, my God! You just

called me by her name.

You are so not over her!

- Okay, all right, please...

- Oh, my God!

Just... Tiffany...

Oh, damn it!

- I think you should leave, Joel.

- What?

I think you should take your

briefcase, take your suitcase,

and your squash racquet, and

all your magic markers,

and your toothbrush,

and your U2 CDs...

And don't forget your clompy

slippers and your floppy hat!

And get out!

- But, I...

- Go!

Hi, Joel.

Tiffany, what are you doing here?

Oh, it's a long story.

Trevor moved out today,

and I'm just really upset.

And, well, I'll admit it, horny.

Ew. She said that? Give me a break.

I know. It sounds transparent,

but she sounded really sincere.

Well, great story.

- Yeah. We should get together

again very soon. - Yes.

- We're not done.

- Yeah, sit down.

Well, actually, it's getting

so late, and I have to run...

Sit your f***in' ass down, Karen.

We're not done with the story.

You know, you really hurt me, Tiff.

I know. But I can't

ever change that.

What's done is done.

I can't go back to

the way things were.

Things are gonna be

different this time, right?

Oh, probably not, Joel.

Old habits die hard.

Okay, but promise me that

you're not here just because

Trevor dumped you and you're

feeling sorry for yourself.

No. I can't promise you that, Joel,

because that is why I'm here.

I'm not gonna candy-coat it.

If I were you, I would be

very wary of my motives.

Okay.

You've convinced me.

Let's give our

relationship another try.

I'm not sure Molly

needs to hear this.

Certainly not in that

level of detail.

Joel, that last move.

Mmm!

How did you hold her

up with your feet and

let her fall right down on

you man? That's cool.

What are you talking about?

Who said anything about that?

I'm sorry, man. I guess I was

picturing details in my mind's eye

as you were verbally describing

what happened. But man, Joel...

Mmm!

You're gettin' in that p*ssy hole.

You can have the p*ssy.

Just save me the hole.

Nobody talk to me.

Joel and I broke up last night.

And my store is doomed.

I'm a mess.

Honestly, Moll, I never

liked that Joel anyway.

I love him. But I hate him!

But I love him.

Hello? It's for you.

Who's this?

Hey, Molly. It's Egg-flaps.

Oh. Ah... Hi, Eggbert. How are you?

I know you're worried about

your store closing down,

but I have some great news.

I happen to have

reservations for two

at La Senora Enchilada at 7:00,

so do you wanna join me?

That's very sweet of

you to ask, but I...

You're not interested. I get it.

Story of my life. At

least I tried, right?

Okay, Eggbert.

Really? That's great!

Reservations are at 7:00,

so I'll pick you up at 5:30.

A chimichanga for the seor.

Y para la seorita...

A hot beef and cheese burrito.

Yummy, yummy, in my tummy!

Muchas gracias, Armando.

De nada, Seor Flaps.

It's hot, hot, hot!

So Molly.

What kinds of things are

you passionate about?

I love fiction books. Do you?

No, I don't.

They're not real.

I like things that are real.

Oh. I like fiction

books because I think

- it takes you to a different world.

- Uh-huh.

- And people create a story...

- Sure.

and characters that you

fall in love with.

Yeah, but they're not real.

You know that, right?

I remember in high school, they

made us read The Great Gatsby,

and I asked my teacher,

"Did this happen?"

And he was like, "No."

And I was like, "Then why

did they write it down?"

Jesus! What a douchebag!

Well, he meant well. So we

started seeing each other.

Meanwhile CSR's Superstore

was becoming a reality

and there was nothing I

could do to stop it.

We're gonna obliterate it!

Molly and I weren't speaking,

and I was back with my old

girlfriend, my old life.

And then the holiday

season started.

Oh, hey. Brenda and I are having a

series of three holiday parties,

- Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's Eve.

- Mmm-hmm.

- Three parties.

- Got it.

We'd love it if you

and Tiff could come.

Well, I've gotta talk to Tiff,

but I'm sure she'll wanna go.

Great. The first one, of

course, is Thanksgiving.

- Happy Thanksgiving, Brenda.

- Happy Thanksgiving.

Hey, everybody! I'm a

Thanksgiving turkey.

Mmm.

Dessert's almost ready.

Who wants coffee?

- I would love a double-cream, no coffee.

- I'll have a half mocha macchiato.

I'll have a caf, half latte

caramel venti frappacino.

Boy, whatever happened to

just good old regular coffee?

- A**hole.

- C*nt.

- Christmas!

- Now it's Christmas!

Christmastime charades!

Tiffany, it's your turn.

- My turn.

- It's your turn.

On your mark. Get set. Go.

Okay. Uh...

For Colored Girls Who Have Considered

Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf!

Yes!

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