Third Star

---

James Kimberley Griffith

See I...

The thing about life is...

A what is it they say?

The thing about life is ...

I'm 29 today. Won't see 30

But I'm uh ... I'm okay

Really. Okay

My mate Davy. He's been

helping out since he was made redundant

He was head of a PR firm that ...A

Jesus I don't really know what they did

Thank God my sister Chloe's got her

girls. She's taking it pretty badly

Tries to hide it but... I just hate seeing it

There are people arriving

Bill... ah he's so excited!

I think he's just glad to be away from

his girlfriend. And the TV job he hates

He brought a tree with him

that he grew from seed

He's determined to plant it

for me when we get there

Ah, when we get there ...

My parents keep a brave face... but...

no one should outlive their children

The sicknes may be mine but

the tragedy is theirs

I have to put a distance between

me and all of this

Pitying mob

Oh Christ I need to escape!

So my friends are taking me

to my favourite place on earth

Barafundle Bay

Miles. Made it at last. Haven't

heard from him in a while

His dad died when we were 16.

Cancer again. His dad was a writer

Made us both want to be writers too

Miles is at the pressure of expectation, I'm

at the pressure of ... time, I suppose

Too much of it then, too little of it now

- Miles?

- You look like sh*t

I thought they'd stuck you out here 'cos

you'd snuffed it

Having a pretty good day rhabdomyosarcoma-wise..

You, you, you .... Jeeesus!

No, no, absolutely not. I agreed to

this whole trip and there's one condition

No, he's not taking it!

Take care, sis

- Oh God. Aw!

- He'll be fine

I love you too

No, Davy, Davy, Davy! Watch it, yeah?

You ever played tetris?

- Oh, James! No, I'll get that

- I'm fine, I'm fine!

- I'll get the cushion

- No, no, not just yet. I...

I'll get started under my on steam

- Who wants to push me then?

- Me.

- It's a bit bumpy, isn't it?

- Like sex with an anorexic

How is Melissa?

- She's fatter

- Is she?

Nothing wrong with that...

How bloody beautiful is this!

We need to get to Sound Point this evening

Now we'll walk until James needs a rest

No, I'm fine

wanted to be agricultural story editor in the...

- Do we have to talk about work?

- No I don't

- It's something some of us spend our lives doing

Shut up Miles. Get a job

Ladies

- Malfunction everybody

- Okay

- I knew it! It's the weight, I'm telling you

- What??

- Is it f***ed?

- Not on my shift. Alright, all aside!

Alright, Davy, can you get me the

toolbox? At the bottom

I see the toolbox but I can't actually get it out

cause it's way too much weight on the cart

Okay, well start unpacking it then

Gee weez!

- If you'd let me!

- Pull out an apple

- You didn't just say 'gee wizz', Bill?

- I did say 'gee wizz'. I'm exasperated

Now get that webbing bag out of there and inside

there's a little stalking set and some pliers

- Gee wizz! Look at that webbing bag!

- Hey...

Biscuits

Great on their own

But once they're dipped in tea

they become a whole different journey

Taking you to piss always makes me wanna piss

You piss far more than I ever used too

Where's all this new piss coming from?

- I'm not drinking more...

- Would you shut the f*** up please?

My makeup girl's read one of your dad's books

At work the other day...

the Lebanon tree

- How's your book coming on?

- Oh, I gave up on it. Couldn't be arsed

You should just write a diary about

bangin Chelsea chicks

- I'm finally bored of meaningless sex

- Bollocks!

Alright I might as well piss now too

Too nice to be true? Yeah...

I'm just saying:
we could stove some of

the stuff here and pick it up on the way back

Well if you girls hadn't packed your

entire wardrobe

How's work going?

- You hate what I do

- Because you do

You writing?

I'm so bored with my book question, James

I'm not a writer, I'm an ad man

I'm good at it

- Did you get the short stories I sent you?

- Yeah, the one about the biker was great

Really great

The one about the nurse - it was bollocks

Well, I'm no writer, but I liked it

- Good for you Davy

- Waft!

Waft!

Oh my God!

That's actually working

Don't be angry. I told your mum

I'd call her in a bit

- Yeah and you just called her last night

- I know, I promised

Alright, alright!

Tell her we have hope in our hearts and wings in

our heels and after that no more phone calls

And if you got your bloody phone on you

I'll find it

- Bill, we could just plant this tree

- No!

Sometimes I watch the credits and wait

for the camera man

Yeah, it's not Shakespeare but

pays the mortgage

Mate, Antiques Roadshow has a big audience

I work on Cash in the Attic, Davy

- Are you sure?

- What?

- Wait, The White Bull? Screw it!

- I thought you knew where we were

Yeah well I do now

- My Spidey Senses are tingling

- Loving this, boys, lovin this!

Hit it, lads!

I'll get the beers then

I'll have a Guinness

Oi! alcohol and morphine don't mix

I'll have never taken LSD

And lost my shoes playing poker

I've never had a bandit hold a gun to my head

- I've never been to Birmingham

- I've never sailed around ... really?

- No.

What about when Mark was 18?

- Was that Birmingham?

Have you told him?... I miss you xx

Don't you ever get the urge to do

something really dangerous?

Eat some undercooked pig

I mean a real thrill, a man thrill

- Steady!

We've all forgotten that moment when you

realize you'll never play in the World Cup Final

or ... be the first man on Mars ...

and all those daydreams

become fantasies rather than possibilities

I have no response to that

This is nice though, isn't it?

Yeah...

Yes it is!

Where did you get that watch?

From my father. Birthday present. It's a

Rolex Oyster Perpetual Sea-Dweller 4000

Yeah your dad's a liar - it's a fake

F*** you!

Nice. Give it to me!

I'm gonna tell'em you asked to see my cock

Do you like my wings?

Give me the wach or I'll tear

your f***ing wings off!

Don't want it anymore

Don't like fakes

- Yeah, me neither, come on!

We're both better off

Hey, poofter!

What's the time?

Brothers, this is not the way!

I'm sorry. That was an accident

He's like an Alsatian pup. he's one of

those guys everyone just seems to love

Nuts?

Hold your fighting!

Oi! Oi!

- Davy, I'm going in.

- This is what we were talking about

- Your morphine chases. You're drunk

- Maybe. A little

- This is it

- Maybe you should sit this one out

- NO!

- Sorry

Davy, ramming speed!

Hey! What are you doing?

Not him! He's got cancer!

I'm not shitting with you

You don't hit people with cancer

Sensible retreat but the tide was turning

Why would you sleep naked in a tent with me?

Cause it's like ...

Look I don't wanna feel you poking me in the back

Yeah did you feel that in the middle of the night

- What is that??

- I'm not gonna ...

- I think I farted, sorry ...

I don't know any adults who still

use talcum powder

I don't use talcum powder

That's your boil skin flaking all over

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