Third Star Page #2

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our lovely tent

- Aw Jeesus ...

- We laid the tent on a cow pat

I knew that pillow was

too good to be true

I have an insight into what it's like

to be one of your wank puppets

Pretty great I'm told

- Where are my clothes?

- Mine are missing too

Yes they are...

All your spare clothes are missing

Why? Why would you do this? Why?

We have no need for the wasteful

conforts of modern life

- I'll f***ing kill you!!

- What?!

We are going to experience the landscape

A wardrobe from leaves and Kendal mint cake

Don't chase him, you just encourage

Don't wrestle again! I'm bored of

seeing wrestles

God, it's like deliverance

That's it, I'm wearing your clothes

if I get wet

- Where are my digestifs?

- Up my arse you prick!

Now that is deeply, deeply, deeply disturbing

- If the cart breaks ...

- Ah, get on, get a grip!

- Come on, ok?

- No!

- No? Come oon!

- Steady boys

Ok? Go, go, go!

Hello there! We 4 would like to take the ferry

- When?

- Whenever it leaves

Four. There are four of us ...

- And the cart.

- Yees.

Singles or returns?

Return. But not today, we're camping

- When you're coming back?

- Saturday. Latest

- Is he wearing eye make-up?

- He is...

- Four returns?

- Yes. Does it run everyday?

last ferry back 8pm

No ferry at Christmas, New Year's day

or Easter

So it's neither 365 days a year,

nor 24/7.

Sell many retuns, do you?

What's your problem, mate?

- I'm gonna have to charge you for the cart

- Listen, Tootsie ...

I'll charge you for an extra passenger.

How's that sound?

Single or return for the cart?

F***ing idiots!

Jenna Jamesson is naked right there.

Kristin Scott Thomas naked there

Double barrel all the way

Davy. Can't get up

No, no,no. I'm okay.

It's just a bit more than I'm used to

Just need to take some meds, I'll be okay

Don't tell the others

Heaven

D'you know, if this was heaven

I'd be pretty f***ing chuffed

I like the way you subtly brought

it back round to you dying

I'd forgotten

No, seriously though

I don't believe in the pearly gates

What do you think Davy

Come on!

- I don't know. I wanna

believe in something like .. God. I do.

I do

Reincarnation. Born again

- As a Mollusc?

- Don't piss on my Nirvana!

No but seriously. Our souls...

I don't know but I've done a lot of thinking

and reading about it recently, of course, and

I think it's got something to do

with that magic science we

barely know anything about like ...

dark matter

Actually there's a belief in buddhist

faith about a kind of constant energy

Quantum physicists have

proven its existence

Perfect timeless universal space

Yeah ...

What?

It's just ... like being, is-ness ...

I can't help but picture myself this dust

dancing in the flicker light

Millions of atoms of constant ... is-ness

What the f*** are you talking about??

Just picture me tapdancing in the firmament

and I'll be well happy

What do you think, Miles?

what happens when we snuff it?

- No idea

- You must have thought about it

What's your instinct? I wanna know

After your 'dancing across the stars' do you

wanna hear that I think there's nothing?

That you'll rot and that's it

- After my father died, that's what I decided

- Really?

Yeah

I suppose one day we'll

live on in our kids

Did anybody get any sleep?

Sand in sleepbag

Christ, that is a great cup of tea

You make a great cup of tea that

gives you real pleasure

Then you go and ruin it

Why don't you finish it then get off

your ass and make a new one?

Oh Bill, you were gonna film

treefrogs in the Amazons

Save the planet and instead you're filming

some heinous piece of daytime TV sh*t

In order to pay a mortgage

to live with a girl that you don't even...

I don't recognize you anymore, you're getting

more and more watered down every day

- Nice. Was that rehearsed?

- Shut up, Miles!

Jim, lots of people would kill for Bill's job

At least he's in a relationship

unlike any of us

Just ... I never seem to get things done

the way I thought I would

When I am happy I just ...

and now ...

I love lessons learned through anecdotal

observation

Seriously, did you prepare that?

Like you finish anything anyway ...

- I'm fine

- Ignore this

- Sh*t!

- I'm fine

- Give me the joint

- Oh, f***!

Here, take the Phemoryl

Hey, we can get to Goat's Head

tomorrow easily. The perfect spot

- Soft grass. Great view

- Sounds good

- Miles, you know a lot about women

- No

Me and Abby have been together

seven years now. And I just ...

Bill, we both know that most people settle for

something that they think is better

than being alone

- Great. Is that me?

- I don't know. How should I know?

Why do I want the oppinion of a man

who doesn't believe in love

The love you're talking about is

like an addiction

You should be thinking "I can't

live without you today". Everyday

You'd do everything to make

her want you more

Make her want you

- Someone chinked the armour?

- No ...

- Okay, do you always tell me the truth?

- Yes.

Is there really such a thing

as multiple orgasms?

Yes ...

F***!

I need you guys to hold him down.

I have to get this up inside him

- You bastard!

- Bastard

Your soap I'm gonna stick it up your arse

And you!!

If I'm reading this map right -

and I know I am

I'm seriously gonna save us some time

- Can I see the map?

- No

- Couldn't we go round that way?

- Davy, this is gonna save us a day

- Miles, let's get you strapped up

- You can f*** off

- There, lift your arms

- Really?

- Why am I going first?

- Because you're useless and we can do without you

- Hold it!

- Can I have your car if you fall?

- You can f*** off! What are you doing?

- Get a grip

- Who's f***ing idea was this?

- Not mine

- Davy, you're doing well. Lean back into it

- Davy!

- Don't. Don't look down just lean back

- I'm gonna pull here, mate

- Oh, God

- Use your pelvis and your back

- Get down

- Oh ... oh yeah man

Slowly, slowly

Why am I always the one that's getting it

rather than giving it ... ah!!

- James!

- James!

Tie off his leg

- Got it?

- Yeah

- Yeah? Good

Go on!

Oh God!

- Are you okay, Jim?

- Fine

Nice one Bill!

What do you think it is?

It's a lovely day for it

Is it?

Did you find anything useful?

It depends on one's needs

I'm looking for something pretty specific

Fifteen years ago I was in a bar in Marseille

A Chinaman ... a cargoboat skipper

was saying he lost a fortune

A container of Star Wars figures. Yeah?

But no ordinary Star Wars figures

faulty Darth Vaders - made brown

like Ben Kenobi

instead of black.

Unique. Collectable

But he'd lost'em in the storm

The only container to go over board

breaking up on the rocks

Now years later I'm here in Pembrokeshire.

Walking. Trying to clear my head

A lot. And I see these coves you know

and all this ... all this rubbish

It should just be beautiful drift wood,

not all this industrial flotsam and jetsam

but, you know, men should still wear hats

every day, the world's changed

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