Third Star Page #3
Am ... you were talking about the Chinaman
No, nono .. the brown Vaders should be here
So everyday I started coming down to look
A month went by. Then two. Then three...
I started thinking I was... crazy
But then one morning I found a yogurt pot
It had a 'sell by' date on it:
November 1980
So stuff is being washed up here
from that exact year
- Obviously, I kept on looking
- Obviously
A year, two years. Still no Brown Vaders
- And then last month ...
- No!
No, but ...
It's a light saber.
from a Darth Vader made between 1980 and 1981
They're here ...
- I never heard anything like it in my whole life!
- That makes two of us
- I need a piss
- No! Let me
- I'm dying to see James's cock, it's been ages
- I'm going down there!
- Your friend is ill
- No, he's just excitable
Not him, the other one
Yes. He's got cancer. It's terminal
Right. I lost a friend to cancer.
My best friend ever
- Sorry.
- It's not your fault
Its just really really, really, really,
really, really unlucky.
- Right.
- I have other friends
People find me attractive
But I started looking for a new best friend
from my existing friends and
then acquaintances, and then new people
- How long are you gonna carry on looking?
- For a new best friend?
- No, for the ...
- Oh
No I tend to look for things. I'm okay
Great to be needed. Isn't it?
I'd forgotten
- Maybe you're one of the lucky ones
- Yeah
- Rare ... a gift. There already
And good
- Thank you, I ... thank you
- No. Thank YOU
- Where are you going?
- To sh*t
Enjoy your walk
- I LOVE that dude!
- I really thought he was going to kill us
Possibly f*** us. And then eat us
- He could turn around and stalk us
- He was ... I don't know he was actually
Davy. Did he touch your private place?
Okay, that is wrong
It's the third star to the right
and then straight on till morning
- Well I thought it was second star
- Well, f***, the one of the lot
You've been hitting the morphine
kind of hard
Guys! If this weather keeps up, how about we
anchored down here for an extra night?
No. I have to get back to work
I still think we're carrying too much stuff
I mean.. the fireworks
- Fireworks?
- Davy!
- What fireworks?
- You've ruined it!
Sorry, but
We had this idea, because you love
looking at the stars and
Dancing through the cosmos that we put on
a firework display for you at Barefundle
But they weigh a ton so can we
just light the f***ers here?
Did you light all of them?
F***ing hell!
Oh f***! F***!!
F***ing great! What do we do now?
You f***ing idiot!!
- You idiot!
- It was Bill as well!
It was ... an accident
You f***ing child!!
'Oh my God he's funny!'
Oh how humorous! We're all gonna have to
sleep in a tent that was made for ...
f***ing anorexic pygmeys!
Ah come, we'll have a little cuddle
Right. I got my knife. So any of you starts going
'Brokeback', I'll be going 'Rambo', alright?
Oh, God, you feel good...
So how you turn the light off then?
- You twist it round
- What?
- Turn the ... that's it
Alright?
Yeah
- Dance, dance, wherever you may be
- No!
- I am the Lord of the Dance, said he
- No!
Who packed these?
You know you can use condoms to cover
a microphone actually
To record dolphins underwater.
That's what they use
Cool. Everyone get that? It may
not come up but - thanks Bill
We shouldn't have cooked all the
beans tonight
- We've plenty of food.
- I'm not worried about me!
- Jesus, stop!
- Stop what?
Stop making sure he gets to do this bloody trip?
You two don't have any idea how much
responsibility I have to take so you
can just piss about
- You get thanks all the time
- Well, that's nice
- Why are you so desperate to be needed?
- I'm glad you see it like that. I don't
I'm grateful!... But what are you gonna
do when I'm not around? I can't picture it
- Who knows, Jim?
- Yes but before you used to moan about how
you felt you were being taken advantage of
at work until you lost your job and then I think
my cancer came along at just the right time
I shall treat you all to a shrink when we get back
but for now can we just have a laugh?
It's not about failing it's about finding your...
If you say Raison d'etre I'm going to kill myself
- Shut up Miles, this is ...
- Repugnant? Boring?
- What do you want? What...
- What special thing are you searching for?
- James. He's doing fine
- Ok? And your being a bit ... harsh
- It's not about the cards life dealt you
It's about the hand that you feel safe playing
I thought the tea life making metaphore was
good but that was .. exquisite
You know, Miles, it's so easy to take the piss
but 'm angry with all of you
I don't want to die!
I want... more time
I want more time
I'd take any one of your pointless
consumer-f***er lives!
I was gonna do so much!
I was going to be special. And I know it sounds
pompous. It is
You are
You make me sick!
Don't. I love my life.
Cancer's no excuse for being an egomaniac
- Why are you special?
- Right, so you don't think I would have
amounted to anything as a writer ..
- I don't know! That's the point!
But by our age my father had already written
three books.
Your writing's good but you only finally sat down
to do it because it became too painful to stand up
What? You want to hit me now,
you .... pissy little arse-licker?
Oh, f*** off! You bore the sh*t out of me!
We're not your secretaries. We don't run away
if you turn nasty
- I'm telling him the truth!
- I know! But WHY?
Why are you so cruel? You're just cruel.
There's other ways to get what you want
Davy. It's like you're actually looking
at my soul through a microscope
I'll have to redeem myself! Davy will you
give me Aids! Bill? Rabies?
Come on. Ah, GOD!
We don't need to be doing this! We should be
laughing and talking bollocks
about the good old days ...
- I read your book!
I read it
He finished it years ago
- When did you read it?
- Two years ago
I knew you've been writing something and I
snooped around on your computer and there
it was. Finished
Hated you for it
I copied it but I... I did't read it
And then I got sick
and I gave in to my desire to... Even though I
knew you'd never, ever be able to forgive me
Mate, if you wanted to get somethig off your
chest why didn't you just call me?
I'd have come round, we'd have had a chat
watch Jaws and pretend that you weren't sick
- I AM sick!
- BECAUSE you are!!
And when you're gone, you won't...
know that this is f***ing killing me!
It's not worth talking about it, it's not going
to change anything.
This is just unnecessary fake soul searching
which everyone is doing these days
And I can't even say this REAL stuff
because I just might not get a chance to see you
again so I can say ...
You don't need to apologise, Miles ...
I wasn't going to apologise you arrogant little
f***! I'm right!
And we don't apologise
I can say this sh*t, and come back in 5 minutes
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"Third Star" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 26 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/third_star_21773>.
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