Thirteen

1

Hit me.

I'm serious.

I can't feel anything.

Hit me.

Again!

Do it harder!

Oww!

I can't feel anything!

This is so awesome!

I hear this little "wah-wah-wah"

inside my head.

That's your brain cells popping.

- Do it.

- You want me to do it?

No, no, no.

Hit me!

Harder! Punch me!

Ohh!

Oww.

Hit me really hard.

Really.

- Okay. I'm gonna plunk you.

- Okay! Go!

- Aah!

- Oh, sh*t!

Oh! Oh, f***!

Yeah!

Come on, Hampton.

Come on.

Come on, baby!

Mom! Come on, it's 7:45.

Let's go, let's go.

I'm ready. Hey, Noel.

- Mason, come on!

- Come on, Mason!

- Where's the new backpack?

- It's already in the back seat.

Hey, wait. Let me fix this before

somebody gives you the wedgie from hell.

- Thank you.

- Mason!

What's up, guys? Hey, Noel.

- B*tch.

- What the hell?

Annette!

Annette, you know

you're not allowed to wear that.

The teachers look mean here.

I promised myself I wouldn't get

anything lower than an "A." Careful.

- Puta.

- God!

How you doin', man?

Mason, guess what just happened.

Ooh! Look at that sh*t! Damn!

- That sh*t is tight!

- Mason.

Hey. Um, guys,

this is my little sister.

Hi.

Look over there.

Man, there's Evie Zamora.

- Looks like she grew up this summer.

- No sh*t.

What's up, girl?

- Let's go say hi.

- Hey, be cool, dude.

What's up, Evie?

Come over here! We wanna talk to you!

What's poppin' with you, girl?

Damn!

Sh*t!

Now look up at me.

Oh, looks great.

Yeah.

Next time we'll do orange.

Hair gel, baby.

It's okay, Mom.

You can borrow mine... again.

Thank you.

Ooh, Rodney, I love your blue.

Hey, go like this.

You guys hungry? I did Italian tonight.

Hey, what's happenin'?

Hey, where'd you put the cheese?

- Bye!

- Don't burn your tongue!

- Bye, Mel.

- Oh, thanks. So long.

Jesus. A two-dollar tip.

They ate half the lasagna.

Mom, you're way too generous.

- Did Dad send you the check this month?

- Lay off him, Tracy.

He just started the new job.

- We're fine. I worked all week.

- What?

Oh, you'd look great...

with some honey-blond

entertainment streaks...

right here.

It's not fair. I can't be mad at you

when you do that.

- Here, Mom, listen to this.

- Mmm.

"He was crippled,

but only his body was cracked."

- Yoo-hoo!

- Tracy!

- Hey!

- Hey, Kayla.

Hi. The bus never came,

and then it did.

I have to pee,

and she hasn't eaten anything.

Well, that's okay.

There's some stuff on the stove.

Oh, great. Okay.

Then we'll go?

Tracy, I'm sorry. I just haven't

been to a meeting all week.

You know I need to go.

- I really want to hear your poem.

- No.

- Please start over.

- It's okay, Mom.

No, please, I really wanna hear it.

"He was crippled,

but only his body was cracked.

"It's not simple, nor is it

an easy matter to explain.

"'Let's just leave it at that,'

she says...

"and closes the holy book of lies.

She covers her eyes, denying to herself

what she thought happened."

Mmm.

Wow.

That's really heavy.

And it scares me a little bit.

It's beautiful.

We gotta talk about it

when I get back. Okay?

Hey, can we

have some of this cake?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

Sh*t.

That's Mario's cake!

He's 12 years sober!

- Tracy, I want a piggyback ride.

- Hang on.

Uh, Mom.

Mom, Mom, Mom.

I told you I can't baby-sit.

I have an I-Search project due tomorrow.

Baby, cut me a break.

You know I need to go.

- Keep coming back.

- It works if you work it.

Right, baby?

- Bye, Mommy!

- Be good!

Thanks again!

Evie Zamora. Hey, girl!

Evie Zamora

has really pretty skin.

She's got a scar from when she tried

to save her baby brother from a fire.

You guys,

she's not Wonder Woman.

Hey, you guys! I'm wearing lip gloss.

I'll see you guys later.

He's so smart.

He knows German.

Nice socks!

It's that girl Tracy from chem class.

Who let her out

of the cabbage patch?

Thank God

you're cleaning up your room.

You hungry, baby?

Mom, I'm not your baby.

Okay.

- Hey, what's wrong with those socks?

- Nothing.

Then what are they doing

in the trash?

I'm not gonna wear them anymore.

I need new clothes.

- How come?

- Because I look stupid! Hello!

Sylvia!

Sylvia! Stop!

Please!

Emergency!

Mom, this one's okay.

- This is good.

- Yes. Yes.

Mother scores.

Oh--

Now, I know I have another dollar

in quarters here somewhere.

Hey! Is this enough?

I could rinse these off.

Right on.

Okay, for the project

I'm doing J-Lo. What about you?

- I'm doing Usher.

- I have to go to the bathroom.

So, anyway,

I'm gonna try to, like--

Cute shirt.

Thanks. Cute belt.

Call me after school.

We can go shopping on Melrose.

Okay. Um--

Write your number on this.

Oh, my God!

- You get it?

- Oh! Yeah, wait. I have heard that one.

Yep, that one's good.

Oh, damn.

I have gymnastics today.

- Oh. Okay.

- Okay.

- All right. I'll see you.

- Give me a call, okay?

- See ya.

- Bye. Love ya.

I don't know.

I just wish she liked me.

- I've been there.

- Hey, Tracy!

- Mom wants you to clean your room.

- Okay.

The number you have

reached is not in service at this time.

The number you have

reached is not in service at this time.

What happened over here,

cockroachio?

Nothing, lifeguard boy.

Hey, come and clean

this sh*t up, Trace.

Really disgusting.

No, seriously, though, the pants without

the pockets make you look better.

Hi. I tried calling you, but

I was coming here anyway, so--

Oh--

My phone didn't ring.

Bon apptit, darling.

Sh*t. You guys,

I only brought 10 bucks.

What?

I'm gonna go get a drink of water.

Loser.

What?

What are you talking about?

No! No, ab--

Hang on one second.

I'll get the number for you.

It's right-- Hang on one second.

I shouldn't be giving you the number.

You should have the number.

No. Name is Alberto.

I don't know.

It's some sort of, uh, 553 number.

Alberto. I don't know.

Something--

No, you just keep in mind

that you work for me.

I have 35 people coming tonight.

This is unacceptable.

I have to have

the heater working.

I have to have

everything there.

No, this is not right.

Let's see, uh-- Give me one second.

It's 553--

It's not bad for,

like, 30 minutes.

- Sales clerks didn't see sh*t.

- You guys!

- You guys--

- Wait, wait, wait. Watch.

You guys,

I totally just stole this.

- No f***ing way!

- From this lady over there.

- Let's see how much--

- Have you seen what's in it?

- Holy sh*t, you guys!

- Oh, my God.

I don't think I've ever seen

this much money in my life.

- Let's go shopping!

- Hell, yeah!

One.

Dos, tres.

A few pairs of these.

That should cover that.

Keep the change.

Aah!

- Let's go!

- Yeah!

Hey, Mason.

Just out of curiosity...

who do you think

is the hottest girl in school?

I guess, um, Evie Zamora.

Guess who I hung out with today.

Bull.

Melrose Avenue.

What?

God, it's that hard to believe?

Mom, why are there

four places tonight?

Mom?

Honey, he just got back.

He's only coming for dinner.

Yeah. Tomorrow he's just

gonna tune up your car, right?

It needs it.

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