Thirteen Page #2

Why are you doing this to yourself?

Do you mind if I put this stuff

in your garage?

So, Brady, how was

the halfway house?

The same as the last one, Trace.

Yeah. Okay.

Here, hold on.

Evie, this is my mom.

No way.

She's like the hot big sister.

What do you want me to do?

- Can you take us to Melrose?

- Let's go.

We'll find some really cute platforms...

or maybe some of

that body glitter.

Mom, you can just drop us off

and go run an errand or something.

Oh.

Um... okay.

I guess that'll be all right.

Maybe for an hour.

I have to talk to

Evie's mom, though.

Brooke is just my guardian.

Great. Thank you.

Hey, wait a minute.

I haven't talked to Brooke yet.

Mom, please don't do this to me.

This is the best day of my life.

I'll kill you if you embarrass me.

Okay.

Okay.

Hi. This is Melanie.

I'm Tracy's mom.

It's my ass that isn't fitting.

Evie, Brooke says you're not allowed

on Melrose without adult supervision.

- Well, you're here, aren't you, Mel?

- Yep.

I am.

What do you think?

Mom, do I look okay?

You look incredible.

You love the leopard fur, Mel?

Yep.

- But not for 75 bucks, baby.

- Why? Mom--

Guys! This only costs $19.95!

This is it!

This is the digs, the nest!

My Mount Olympus, baby!

Hey.

Hey, boys.

This is it. This is the dream place.

- Hey, Evie.

- Check this out.

The design is, uh, set up feng shui--

Dude, I want my $9.00 back.

Only way that movie

would've been decent...

was if Britney had her big-ass booty

hangin'all over the screen.

Yeah, man, with the car

blowing up in the background.

- Sh*t! Watch out, man!

- Hey!

Christ, I at least

wanted to see some tits.

- Your little friend is coming over.

- What?

Oh, sh*t.

- I'm Evie Zamora.

- Yeah, I know.

I'm Noel.

Pizza?

We love Hawaiian.

Don't you, Evie?

Hey, hey, hey!

Let's go, Trace.

Uh, you can't go to the park anyway.

Right, Noel?

You can't go either after dark.

You guys wanna get high?

Four bucks a hit.

- Let's trip.

- For sure.

Man!

Pay me back

when we get home.

What's up?

- You guys wanna buy some sh*t?

- Yeah. What you got?

Evie, I see spiders!

I see naked people.

My God!

Tracy!

Tracy!

Tracy! Come on.

Mom wants you home now.

Tracy, get over here!

- I found her, Mom.

- Oh, you got it.

Uh, yeah, Trace, I got that game

that you wanted... finally.

I'm a lion!

Tracy! Tracy, come on.

You hounded me for two weeks

for this damn game.

Oh, no, I haven't.

I really haven't.

Just--

Damn.

How long is this gonna last?

# Dropped acid at the park #

Evie, I think--

I think my nose is melting off.

Ooh!

Mel, she's a teenager.

Come on, baby.

- You want me to ground you?

- Yeah, you're gonna ground me.

You know you're not

allowed out after dark.

Can't I have any privacy?

- What, I'm not allowed to see your body?

- No, you're not.

Okay.

Well, after he leaves we'll talk.

If he leaves.

Whoa. Slow down on that

apple cider, sweetheart.

Come here. Come here.

So, uh...

Mason says "good night."

What's going on?

Mom! What's going on?

Baby, go back to bed!

Come on.

Nice ass.

Oh, uh, no.

- Mom!

- What?

I'm making your fave.

Mom, I have to go

to the bathroom now.

Can't you hold it a minute?

That's how you get a bladder infection,

you child abuser.

- That's dramatic.

- Let's just go pee outside, wussy.

French toast

is my favorite too, Mel.

Hampton is my baby!

- He's my baby.

- Hey, Mason.

Move your G-string down south.

Dude, no! That is so gross.

That's my brother.

- Oh, my God!

- Maybe I'll marry into the family.

You'll be designing a habitat...

which the four of you

will live in for two years.

Find creative ways

to recycle the elements.

Think water supply

and power supply--

And why are you late,

Ms. Freeland?

Sorry. Can't a girl

go to the bathroom?

All right, settle down, class.

Now, what I want--

Put the phone away!

Mom.

Do you know the difference...

between point-slope form

and slope-intercept form?

How about ten dollars, guapo?

That's why I need to be here

at the library. They have tutors.

Hey, does her mom know?

She's 18, dude. Come on.

I know you're a nice guy.

Okay, cool.

Pick me up at 5:
30.

Bye.

Get on the chair.

Um... is this gonna hurt?

Oh, you haven't had

your tongue pierced.

I only put it in when I need to.

Stick it out.

Just don't open your mouth very wide

when you talk. She won't notice.

I have to ask you something.

What?

Okay, um...

you never did anything...

with that crusty

tattoo guy, right?

Yeah. He ate my p*ssy.

Oh, my God!

Are you sh--

I'm kidding, idiot.

Hey, ladies!

- Get a lot of studying done?

- We were researching, Mom.

I'm in charge of the gray water module

for the Biosphere II project.

Cool.

What module are you

in charge of, Evie?

I'm not in that class.

I'm taking advanced physics, Mel.

Well, I'm happy for him that

he's finally paying off his debt...

but so what if he

has to work weekends?

You had to work

when you had two babies.

It's not like I need it for myself.

It's just that the kids--

- Mom. Mom!

- Can you guys say "hot"?

That was Mason's favorite shirt.

- # Ohh, ohh #

- Here we go.

You two aren't the only

J-Lo's in the house.

- Check out these sexy colors!

- That's great, Mom.

You need something to eat.

It's 4:
00.

Something real.

I'll make some turkey and cheese

on whole wheat.

Evil food.

If you drink 10 glasses of ice water

a day, you'll burn 300 calories.

Interesting.

Mom!

Three strikes and you're out.

How many times you gonna

let him f*** you over?

Hey!

Where is my purse?

Cyn-- Cyn, go to the sink.

- I'll rinse your color out now.

- I-I know I left it here.

Baby, it's here.

Honey, find Cynthia's purse.

His clothes should not be here.

You promised Mason and me.

- No, I never promised--

- Yes, you did!

Baby-- Cyn, come on. You're cookin'.

You're cookin' with gas.

Let's wash off

really quick over here.

This is so f***ed up.

After this,

we'll cover your face back.

Ow! God! You're burning me!

- Sh*t. I'm sorry.

- Ow! F***!

There. How's that?

Ooh, baby, you are blond!

That's weird. I thought I had

a bunch of 20s in here.

- I'm gonna have to write you a check.

- No, no, pay me next time.

Put a little gel on your hands...

and go like this

right before Larry picks you up.

Hey, if this gets you laid,

you owe me double.

Tracy Louise Freeland!

Conference time! Now!

You do not pull a scene like that

in front of a client.

Even Cynthia!

I'm on... the phone.

- Well, get off the phone.

- It's Dad.

He's with the baby.

Don't ever start smoking.

Is everything okay, Mel?

Yeah.

No.

Evie, I'm sorry, but I think

it's time for you to go home.

I can't go home.

Brooke had a convention

in Bakersfield.

She said she sent you an E-mail.

I guess I didn't

check my E-mail.

I'm sorry, Mel.

I hope it's okay that I'm here.

Well...

I guess it's gonna

have to be, isn't it?

Her boyfriend hits me, Mel.

He grabbed my throat,

and he threw me against his van.

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