Thirty Day Princess Page #4

be married and have seven children.

- I don't suppose I'll ever marry.

- But why?

Can't tell you.

Did somebody break your heart?

Someone is going to.

It is just the glamour

of the title.

- Oh, no.

- Oh, yes.

You must not think

it is anything else, please.

Can't help it, Your Highness.

I'm sorry

these things should be impossible.

Is it impossible only because

of the gulf between us,

or is there another? A man.

Someone of your own class?

There is no other.

Hello, kid!

Say, is that dame trying to ritz me,

or something?

Hello, babe, how's tricks?

He is, how you call,

a little boiled, yes?

Well, he'd better be careful.

Give them new rags

and a yard of glass

and right away they give you

the high nose.

- Hooey to you.

- Donald, please.

Get away from here!

You got a sugar papa, eh?

Gentlemen! Gentlemen!

Not here!

(CUTLERY RATTLING)

I'll never forgive myself for getting

Your Highness into a jam like that.

- It was unpardonable.

- Oh, you could not help it.

I started it.

I would not so much like you

if you had not.

You know you're pretty swell

for a princess.

Oh, I didn't mean...

Oh, your poor eye.

- Never should have done that.

- No.

That was worse than

what I did in the restaurant.

Yes.

I want you to like me

and I do things to make you hate me.

You certainly do.

- Well, good night, Your Highness.

- Good night.

Oh, Your Highness...

Good night.

Mr. Madison...

You may kiss our hand.

Your Highness.

You may kiss our lips.

Your Highness.

You may come to tea tomorrow.

Your Highness.

- Good night, Mr. Madison.

- Good night, Your Highness.

Anything doing inside, my good man?

Nothing but a guy that had

a brawl over at Gaston's.

Can't use. What I seek is

a good milk-fed murder.

Make any difference

if the corpse is a reporter?

Say, I came across a pip

the other day.

A woman strangled eight husbands

with the skins of the others.

- When did that happen?

- In the 16th century.

Well, it got to you quicker

than most things do.

And this guy walks up to me

without any reason at all

and hits me in the nose.

I want him pinched

for assault and battery.

And then I'm going to sue him.

- What was the party's name that hit you?

- I don't know.

- But, we can find out through the girl.

- What's her name?

Nancy Lane, an actress.

She has a room over on 45th Street.

- Oh, Tim.

- Yes, sir.

Go over with this guy

and locate that dame.

Thanks, Sergeant.

Hey, I'll go with you.

This is the residence

of a party called Nancy Lane?

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

I knew it, Officer.

I knew something terrible would happen

ever since she left.

I didn't throw her out

with only 17 cents.

Honest, I didn't.

I just warned her.

(SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE)

Where did she do herself in?

- Hey, you. The party croaked herself.

- Now, we're getting someplace.

She croaked herself?

When did she do it?

When did she do it?

That's what I'm asking you.

What's going on here?

You answer me "yes" or "no."

- Where is she?

- Who?

The party we're looking for!

Nancy whatever-it-is.

But, I've been telling you,

she vanished.

- Who vanished?

- The missing girl!

- But, I saw her last night.

- Shut up! I'll come to you later.

Now, give me a description

of the corpse.

EDITOR:
Hello.

- Who did the fresco on you?

- I ran into a door.

Things are sure getting tough.

You can't go anywhere nowadays

without having a door walk up

and bust you in the eye.

Let me see that proof.

More hogwash. I asked you

to investigate those Taronian bonds,

not turn handsprings

over them.

"The wolves are gorging themselves

with the blood of the poor."

I know, I know.

But, Taronia's entitled to a break.

It's an honest little country.

Ever been there?

What for? I haven't been

as far as Pittsburgh yet.

Well, it's a beautiful country.

You should see the trava

in the spring.

Now that the wolves are playing

post-office with the poor,

what'll I put on the front page?

Would you like a nice eight-column

banner on how the little birdies

are making their nesties

up in the Bronx?

Didn't anything happen

in the whole world yesterday?

Haven't you got anything from Washington

with a lot of new initials?

Well, there was a little brawl

over at Gaston's.

Want to make anything of it?

How many times have I told you

this isn't a scandal sheet?

- How many reporters are working here?

- About a quarter of them.

Here's a flash on a girl disappearing.

Nancy Lane or something.

All right, use that.

She was kidnapped.

- Was she?

- She might have been.

"Beauty Vanishes.

Kidnappers Feared."

What more do you want?

Go on, give it the works.

NEWSBOY:
Extra! Extra!

Hey, extra paper! All about

the missing girl here! Paper!

Hey, extra! Latest kidnapping case!

Extra! Paper! Hey, extra!

Read all about it!

The latest kidnapping! Paper!

Hey, extra paper!

NANCY:
I didn't know I lost it.

GRESHAM:
You didn't know you lost it.

Of course, you didn't know.

You don't know anything.

What did you go there for

in the first place?

You told me to vamp him.

I'm sorry.

Vamp him, yes,

but I didn't tell you to...

Say, listen,

you haven't fallen for that guy?

- Of course not.

- Well, I hope not.

One word from you to anyone,

especially to Porter Madison,

I'm a ruined man.

Now remember, I'm relying

upon you never to say a word.

Don't worry. I told you

I'd never squeal under any condition.

But, if you think I'm falling down

on the job, I'll quit.

You'll quit? You get into a mess

that might queer the whole deal and...

How could it?

Here's the Princess' vanity case

and there's a picture of Nancy Lane.

Suppose they put the two together?

Well, I got you into this mess.

I'll get you out of it somehow.

You've done enough.

There's nothing left to do but pray.

KIRK:
So I went

from the police station

to the place where she lived

and I found it in her room.

I'm telling you

it's the biggest story of the year.

- No, it's not possible. It's a joke.

- Sure, but who on?

This is preposterous.

Don't you understand?

I dined with her. I danced with her. I...

She couldn't fool me.

I know a princess when I see one,

don't I? Don't I?

Besides, who came in on the boat?

Answer me that.

She might've got on at quarantine.

That's been done before.

- That's the dame.

- Yes, and let me tell you something.

If I thought it were, I'd not only

expose her, I'd land her in jail.

You know how I stand on phonies.

But it just happens

she is not the girl, Mr. Wise Guy.

What do you want?

Nothing.

I'm just bringing in your lunch.

Well, hurry up about it.

Yes, sir, but you don't want to eat

when you're feeling like that.

You might get indigestion.

- She's outside.

- MADISON:
Who is?

The missing girl. Nancy Lane.

- Who?

- Bring her in, bring her in.

I read in your paper

they was looking for me.

Say, do I look as much

like a ghost as all that?

You remind me of someone

I know.

Come in.

- Where have you been?

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