This Is Spinal Tap Page #8

Spinal Tap's recording of Sex Farm?

It was at number five last week, actually.

So he asked me

to ask you, Tap,

if you'd be interested in re-forming

and, er... doing a tour. Japan.

So you've come back to re-plug

our life-support systems in?

By the grace of your...

By the stroke of your hand...

You're gonna bring us back to life?

Is that why you've come?

- No, I've come...

- I mean... The f***in'...

nerve that you've displayed...

I'm just passing on the information, really.

Well, it's time to go in. We haven't got

time to discuss this now. Come on.

David,

do a good show, all right?

Yeah, OK.

Little girl, it's a great big world

But there's only one of me

You can't touch cos I cost too much

- But tonight I'm gonna rock you

- Tonight I'm gonna rock you

- Tonight I'm gonna rock you

- Tonight I'm gonna rock you

Tonight!

You're sweet but you're just four feet

And you still got your baby teeth

You're too young and I'm too well hung

- But tonight I'm gonna rock you

- Tonight I'm gonna rock you

- Tonight I'm gonna rock you

- Tonight I'm gonna rock you

Tonight!

Oh, yeah

Nigel Tufnel, lead guitar!

You're hot, you take all we've got

JOE "MAMA" BESSER

Drums

Next day, we'll be on our way

But tonight I'm gonna rock you

KOBE HALL:

Tokyo, Japan

Tonight I'm gonna rock you

Tonight!

Little girl, it's a great big world

but there's only one of

Me!

Do you feel that playing rock'n'roll music

keeps you a child? Keeps you

in a state of arrested development?

No, no. I feel it's like...

It's more like going

to a national park or something,

and they've preserved the moose.

And that's... my childhood

up there onstage is that moose.

So when you're playing, you feel

like a preserved moose onstage?

I've been listening to the classics.

I belong to a great series.

It's called

The Namesake Series of cassettes.

They send you works of famous authors

done by actors with the same last name.

So I've got Denholm Elliott

reading TS Eliot on this one.

- Interesting.

- Yes.

I've got Danny Thomas doing A Child's

Christmas In Wales by Dylan Thomas.

Next month it's McLean Stevenson

reads Robert Louis Stevenson.

- Treasure Island, I believe.

- Interesting. Fascinating.

There's also the shorter works

of Washington Irving

read by someone called Dr J.

- That's Julius Irving.

- There you go, in keeping with the series.

- You like this?

- Looks like Halloween.

This is my exact inner structure

done in a T-shirt.

Exactly medically accurate, see?

So, if we were to take

all your flesh and blood...

- This is what you'd see.

- It wouldn't be green, though.

It is green.

See how your blood looks blue?

That's just the vein, the colour of the vein.

The blood is actually red.

Oh, maybe it's not green, then.

Anyway, this is what I sleep in.

Denis Eton-Hogg, President of Polymer

Records, was recently knighted.

What were the circumstances

surrounding his knighthood?

The specific reason why he was knighted

was for the founding of Hoggwood,

which is a summer camp

for pale young boys.

David St Hubbins. I must admit

I've never heard anybody with that name.

It's an unusual name. He was an unusual

saint. He's not a very well-known saint.

- Oh, there was a St Hubbins?

- Yes. That's right, yes.

- What was he the saint of?

- The patron saint of quality footwear.

You play to predominantly...

predominantly a white audience.

Do you feel your music

is racist in any way?

- No, of course not.

- No, not at all.

We say, "Love your brother."

We don't say it really, but...

We don't literally say it.

We don't literally mean it.

- We're not racists.

- But... that message should be clear.

We're anything but racists.

We've grown musically. You listen

to some of the rubbish we did early on.

It was stupid, and now we're...

I mean, a song like Sex Farm,

we're taking a sophisticated view

- Of the idea of sex and music.

- And putting it on a farm.

If I were to ask you your philosophy of life

or your creed, what would that be?

Have a good time

all the time.

That's my philosophy, Marty.

I believe virtually everything I read,

and I think that

is what makes me more selective than

someone who doesn't believe anything.

Do you have a philosophy

or a creed that you live by?

Well, personally,

I like to think about sex and drugs

and rock'n'roll. That's my life.

If you were to have something written

as your epitaph...

Here lies David St Hubbins,

and why not?

- You feel that sums up your life?

- No. It's the first thing I could think of.

It doesn't sum up anything, really.

I'm a real fish nut. I really like fish.

- What kind of fish?

- Well, in the United States, you have cod.

I like cod. And I love tuna.

Those little cans you've got here.

Tuna fish... I love that.

- No bones.

- Yeah.

If you could not play rock'n'roll,

what would you do?

I'd be a full-time dreamer.

I'd probably get a bit stupid and start

to make a fool of myself in public,

cos there wouldn't be a stage.

Probably work with children.

As long as there's, you know, sex and

drugs, I can do without the rock'n'roll.

Well, I suppose I could work in a shop

of some kind, or do freelance selling

of some sort of product.

- A salesman?

- Like, maybe in a haberdasher,

or maybe like a... um...

a chapeau shop or something.

You know, "What size do you wear, sir?"

and then you answer me.

- Seven and a quarter.

- "I think we have that."

Something like that I could do.

- You think you'd be happy...

- "No, we're all out. Do you wear black?"

See, that sort of thing

I think I could muster up.

Do you think you'd be happy doing that?

I don't know. What are the hours?

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