This Is the Army

WOMAN [SINGING] :

It's your country and my country

With millions of real fighting men

It's your duty and my duty

To speak with the sword, not the pen

If Washington were living today

With sword in hand

He'd stand up and say

For your country and my country

I'll do it all over again

ALL:

It's your country and my country

With millions of real fighting men

It's your duty and my duty

To speak with the sword, not the pen

If Washington were living today

With sword in hand

He'd stand up and stay

For your country and my country

I'll do it all over again

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

[BAND PLAYING " MY SWEETIE" ]

[APPLAUSE]

[SINGING]

I never felt so happy before

A little rascal knocked at my door

It's Cupid that I'm speaking of

I'm in love, so in love

I must admit that right from the start

I went and lost my heart

Wait till you see me with my sweetie

Showing her off to the crowd

Looking so dreamy at my sweetie

Feeling so terribly proud

She makes a specialty

Of looking good to me

She ought to be right in Tiffany's window

She's a jewel

I know that you will agree

Wait till I'm married to my sweetie

How happy I'll be

I've got the bungalow paid for

I've had it specially made

For my sweetie

Sweetie-eetie-eetie

My sweetie and me

[APPLAUSE]

Even the matinees, he kiIIs them.

That's why he's a great performer.

WeII, he can get ready for the greatest

performance of his Iife. This just came.

Oh, thanks. I'II take it.

[APPLAUSE]

-Hi, sweetie.

-Look, honey, from the president.

-Huh?

-Command performance?

The president of the United States?

WeII, open it up. See what he says.

[APPLAUSE CONTINUES]

Yeah, Iet's see it. What is it? What is it?

HoIy smoke,

it's a command performance.

Oh, that's wonderfuI, Jerry, but what--?

-Aren't you excited? What'd he say?

-I Iove you.

-Oh, thanks--

-WiII you marry me?

-What?

-WiII you marry me tonight?

-WeII, of course, but--

-WonderfuI.

CongratuIations. Starting tomorrow,

you're a war bride. Look.

I've just been drafted.

-Goodbye, Mama.

-Oh.

Oh, Maxie, Iisten to Mama.

I owe it to him. He heIped us

when we came to America. Now I heIp him.

But it was from fights and troubIes

we run away.

We didn't we start this one.

It's up to us Americans to finish it.

Look, Mama, see what it says?

"I want you for the United States Army."

UncIe Sam has his finger on me.

-Goodbye, Ma.

-Goodbye.

Goodbye, my son, and take care of you.

Be a good boy and don't fight.

Yes.

[CORNET PLAYING SLOW TUNE]

WOMAN:

Mrs. DibbIe?

Mrs. DibbIe? Oh, Mrs. DibbIe?

ROSE:

Yes, Mrs. O'Brien.

Say, they teII me your Eddie's

Ieaving for the war.

Yes, and the Army's gIad

they've got him.

Oh, so am I. Now maybe

we can get some sIeep around here.

Up--

[PLAYING BADLY]

AII the time pIaying that cornet.

[SOBBING]

I know it'II be hard on you, but teII me,

aren't you tiny bit proud?

I don't see what the Army wants with you,

you'II never make a good soIdier.

I can try it for a few months

and see how I Iike it.

-If I don't Iike it--

-What?

I couId try it a few more months.

Oh, it aII comes from your wanting

to march in parades and pIay in a band.

It's aII the fauIt of that darn cornet.

WeII, it won't be a cornet any Ionger.

From now on, it'II be a bugIe.

[PLAYS BUGLE CALL]

[SOBBING]

[BUGLE CALL PLAYING]

So that's the bugIer, huh?

Now I know the first guy I wanna kiII

in this war.

Does that mean we shouId get up?

Five-thirty? That can't be for us.

I didn't Ieave any caII for 5:30.

I'm gonna roII over

and get another 40 winks.

[BLOWS WHISTLE]

Get out of the beds!

I want this joint cIeaned up

before breakfast.

Get out of there, you.

Up.

The C.O.'s gonna give these barracks

a white-gIove inspection today.

So rise, my IittIe beauties,

and start to shine.

Ahh.

-HeIIo.

-HeIIo.

-Hi.

-AII right, hi.

We're the new feIIas.

We just got in Iast night.

-You sIept weII?

JERRY:
Oh, yes, sure.

You know, this bed's got the softest

mattress I ever sIept on the fIoor next to.

Say, Iisten, chum,

there's a war waiting for you.

But I ain't. Now roII out of them sacks

before I bust your ankIes at the knees.

-Now, get out of there. You too.

-AII right. AII right.

You, my IittIe white IiIy, up!

-You too.

-He's drunk with power, ain't he?

Hey, what is this 5:30 business?

MAN 1 :

Left shouIder. Turn!

-Left, Ieft. Left!

MAN 2:
Hey.

PIatoon, haIt.

MAN 1 :

Right shouIder. Turn!

Too fast.

What is the matter, can't you hear?

I'm teIIing you what foot to Iay down.

-Don't you know your Ieft foot from right?

-I know they're sore. I wish they were fIat.

Shut up.

Oh, so the Army don't agree with you?

In some ways,

I don't agree with the Army.

Is it too much of a strain?

WouIdn't be if they kept sensibIe hours

Iike civiIians.

-What did you do as a civiIian?

-Danced.

-What wouId you Iike to do in the Army?

-Dance.

Forward march.

I kept teIIing them you don't get no soIdiers

out of no draft.

So heIp me, when I asked what he'd Iike

to do in this war, he comes back quickIy.

" Dance," he says, " dance."

Just Iike that.

Heh. WeII, Jones was

a dancer in civiIian Iife.

One of the best too.

How am I gonna get over to a dope Iike that

so that this here is a war?

Sergeant, there's a very necessary eIement

with soIdiering.

It goes by various names,

but Iet's caII it moraIe.

I ain't saying he's a dame chaser, sir.

Heh. No, sergeant. What I mean is that war

is a pretty grim business...

...and sometimes a song or a smiIe

is just as vitaI to an army as food.

-Hmm? Sir?

-Teach your men to fight, naturaIIy.

But don't discourage their attempts

to entertain one another.

As a matter of fact, encourage them.

Do you foIIow me, sergeant?

Yes, sir. Ahem.

Is there anything bothering you?

You can speak quite freeIy, of course.

No, sir, onIy as far as I'm concerned,

we just Iost this war.

-What?

-Sir. Uh--

CHORUS [SINGING] :

Poor little me

I'm a KP

I scrub the mess hall

On my bended knee

Against my wishes

I wash the dishes

To make this wide world

Safe for democracy

That was sweII. Don't forget to keep

scrubbing the pots whiIe you're singing.

And you move in behind a IittIe sooner.

That fiddIe, it couId stand a IittIe

rehearsaI too. WeII, what do you think?

Ah. Guys putting on a show

give me a pain in the stomach.

Good. I was afraid you might Iike it.

Get those copies made as fast as you can.

-How's this, Jerry?

-Oh, that Iooks fine, fine.

But tone it down a IittIe.

This is for the Army.

When you finish that, make me a sketch

of the kitchen just the way it is.

-I wanna use it for the KP number.

MAN:
Jerry.

Coming right over. Got a match, sarge?

-Here's the copies for the new numbers.

-Oh, fine.

I'II run over those in a coupIe of minutes.

Gotta get something snappy for the opening.

That Iooks great. That Iooks good enough

to waIk down 5th Avenue aII aIone.

[PIANO PLAYING SLOW DANCE TUNE]

No, no, wait a minute, feIIas.

Wait a minute.

You're Iosing the spirit of things.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes