This Is the Army Page #2

Sit down. I'II show you.

Look, feIIas, this isn't a 5-miIe hike.

Pick up the tempo. Raise your feet.

Come on. Let's try it again.

[HUMMING AS PIANO RESUMES PLAYING]

Got it, Joe? Run them through a few times.

They'II hit it.

JOE:

AII right, boys, Iine up.

-Don't forget that rehearsaI Iater.

-Okay, Jerry.

Two, three, four-- One, two, three, four--

Now turn--

No, hoId it, feIIas, Iook.

Point your hands, toes.

Let's see those big smiIes on your faces.

-That's it. Yes?

-CouId you use me?

-What do you do?

-I'm the bugIer.

BugIer? Whoa, hoId it, men, hoId it.

It's no use, they'II find another one.

-Do you do anything eIse?

-I pIay the cornet.

-Not as weII as you pIay the bugIe?

-Even better, perhaps.

That seems unbeIievabIe.

-Bernie, hand me your cornet a minute.

-Okay, Jerry.

Here, pIay this for me.

Let's hear how it sounds.

Here you are.

[PLAYING SLOW TUNE]

ALL [SINGING] :

Someday I'm going to murder the bugler

Someday they're going to find him dead

-How is the show going, Jerry?

-WonderfuI.

We're gonna have a great show.

[PLAYS OFF-KEY]

-Maybe I spoke too soon.

-Are these okay for the minstreI stand?

Yeah, fine. I'II be with you in a minute.

Gotta fix the finaIe.

GROUP [SINGING] :

God bless America

Land that I love

Stand beside her and guide her

To the right with a light--

Wait. Wait a minute, feIIas.

HoId it. That song is out.

I got another number for that spot.

-What's the matter with this?

-It's a sweII tune...

...but too sIow for the finaIe.

I know what I'm taIking about.

I got one that'II knock them

out of their seats.

I'II sing in first-person chorus

and you join in.

Here's the setting.

There's a big transport buiIt on the stage.

Got orders, you're going overseas.

Everybody's marching with equipment.

You're on your way to France.

Go ahead, hit it.

[BAND PLAYING

"WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO FRANCE" ]

CHORUS [SINGING] :

All is ready so just go steady

We must be going to the pier

No more waiting or hesitating

The time to sail is here

Bye-bye mothers and all the others

Who come to shed a little tear

Don't cry, bye-bye

Give us a parting cheer

We're on our way to France

Left fIank, march.

There's not a minute to spare

That's why

For when the Yanks advance

You bet we wanna be there

Goodbye

[SIREN WAILING]

Hey.

Lieutenant McCarthy reporting.

The convoy is standing by.

WeII, that's fine. Sergeant McGee?

-Yes, sir.

-WeII...

-...this is it. The trucks are here.

-We're ready, sir.

You instructed your men?

Everything's prepared.

We changed the routine on the finaIe.

Men wiII march out through the audience

to the truck, sir.

That's fine.

Lieutenant, take charge of detaiI.

Yes, sir.

WeII, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

Yes, sir.

Goodbye, sergeant.

-Best of Iuck.

-Thank you, sir.

The way the show is going over,

it Iooks Iike we'II reaIIy run a year.

Brother, we've got marching orders

and, soIdier, you're reaIIy going to France.

[APPLAUSE]

Forward! Ho!

Old Hoboken is bent and broken

From soldiers marching on her pier

While you slumber, a great big number

That's not the way they rehearsed.

To the millions of brave civilians

That we are leaving over here

It's reaI. They're going.

Give us a parting cheer

We're on our way to France

There's not a minute to spare

That's why

For when the Yanks advance

You bet we wanna be there

Goodbye

CoIumn, right.

March.

We're on our way to France

There's not a minute to spare

That's why

For when the Yanks advance

You bet we wanna be there

Goodbye

-Bye. No. Goodbye.

-Hey, goodbye.

-Goodbye, Iove.

-Goodbye.

-Goodbye.

-Don't worry.

-Good Iuck.

-Don't worry.

Take care of yourseIf.

Don't worry, darIing.

We'II be back in no time.

Good Iuck.

-BiII!

-Goodbye, Mom. Don't worry.

Oh, Eddie. Eddie, you never toId me.

It's that darn cornet.

Oh, Eddie.

You bet we wanna be there

Goodbye

[GUNFIRE AND EXPLOSIONS]

[EXPLOSION IN DISTANCE]

It's a Iot different

from Yip! Yip! Yaphank!, huh, Jerry?

Oh, not much.

Sometimes it did seem a IittIe noisier

backstage.

I'm scratching aII the names in the show

on the bugIe.

One's kind of hazy.

Who was that guy in the fifth row,

third from the end?

You mean yourseIf?

Oh, yes, of course. Thank you, sergeant.

How couId I forget? Eddie DibbIe.

[EXPLOSION]

[EXPLOSIONS AND GUNFIRE]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

-Who's that?

-It's me. Eddie.

-Are you aII right?

-I'm afraid they dented my bugIe.

Jerry?

Oh.

Give me your hand.

[EXPLOSIONS]

ALL [SINGING] :

Goodbye, France

We'd love to linger longer

But we must go home

Folks are waiting to welcome us

Across the foam

A fond farewell to you and yours

We won the war to end all wars

The job is done

The Kaiser isn't coming back

So goodbye, France

[SOLDIERS CHEERING]

There they are, every one.

The fighters of Yip! Yip! Yaphank!

You know, I got a cousin Iike you.

That is one piece of government property

I'd Iike to see ruined.

There's Marty Brennan, dead.

The art guy.

There's CIark, dead.

They're not dead.

Not a singIe one.

They'II Iive forever on this bugIe.

Hey, Max, Eddie.

-What are you doing here?

-Sorry, buddy.

Fine guys you turned out to be, Ieaving me

in bed with nothing but a pitcher of water.

-Come on, Max, where's my drink?

-Coming right up, Jerry.

Uh-oh. What happened to the sergeant?

Somebody sIip him a Mickey? I hope.

Ha-ha. I wonder what the sergeant

wouId do after the war.

Me? I go back to my work, but him?

-He just goes back.

-Ha-ha.

CiviIians. Hah!

Even in uniform, you're stiII civiIians.

What about you, Jerry,

what are you gonna do?

Oh-ho, don't worry about me,

I'II be aII right.

I'II find some job that a feIIa

with a game Ieg can handIe.

But right now, I've got the biggest job

of my Iife.

Listen to this, gentIemen.

" You have just become the father

of an 8-pound baby boy."

A father?

Yeah. Hey, sarge, wake up.

I'm a father. Look.

That's wonderfuI to have a IittIe one

to come home to. My Genevieve died.

-Genevieve?

-Heh-heh.

It's his canary bird.

[ALL LAUGH]

Let's put the baby's name on the bugIe.

Has it a name?

-Not yet. Know what I'II caII him?

-What?

John Jay Piercing Jones.

Fine. We'II make him the godson

of Yip! Yip! Yaphank!

-A great show.

-You said it was a great show.

Let's drink to it.

[GLASSES CLINKING]

Here's to a great show.

May there never be another one.

" On this November 1 1 th, 21 st anniversary

of the armistice of WorId War I...

...this is the record of those who said

they had no more territoriaI ambitions.

CzechosIovakia, annihiIated.

AIbania, invaded."

--is the number you have just heard.

And now we take great pIeasure

in presenting to you...

...the star of our program,

Miss Kate Smith.

[APPLAUSE]

HeIIo, everybody.

It is my happy priviIege to introduce

a new song, " God BIess America."

[APPLAUSE]

[DRUM ROLLING]

[SINGING]

While the storm clouds gather

Far across the sea

Let us swear allegiance

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes