This Is the End
Hey, Seth Rogen. What up, man?
Oh, hey, John!
Over here!
Welcome to Los Angeles
International Airport.
Attention, all passengers.
Do not leave your
baggage unattended.
All unattended baggage
is subject to search...
Yay!
We're so happy!
Look at this!
What's happening, man?
Good to see you, buddy.
How you doing?
I'm good, man.
Yes, you are.
How long
has it been, man?
Sometime in the last...
Inside of a year or something.
Yeah.
I have the best weekend
ever planned, man.
Lay it on me. Ooh!
I don't want to ruin it.
Seth Rogen!
Sh*t, here we go. Hey.
How's it going, man?
Yeah, good.
So, you, like, always play, like,
the same guy in every movie.
When are you gonna do some,
like, real acting, man?
Okay, thank you.
Give me something.
Give me, like, the laugh, man.
Give me
the Seth Rogen laugh.
Seth Rogen, everybody.
All right, I've landed. I'm here.
We've said our hellos.
Can we please go to
f***ing Carl's Jr.?
Oh.
I would... I would love to.
I'm on a...
I can't really eat
I'm on a, uh...
What?
I'm on this cleanse.
You're...
You're on a what?
I'm on a cleanse.
What?
It's good for you.
I didn't know... You're supposed
to take six shits a day.
That's not true.
It is true!
You're supposed to sh*t
twice a day. No.
That's not true.
That's what they used to think.
Now they know you're supposed
to sh*t six times a day.
So you're not drinking.
You're not smoking weed. You're not...
No, no, I'm drinking
and smoking weed. But...
I'm on a cleanse.
I'm not psychotic.
Look, man, if you stopped
eating gluten,
you'd feel way f***ing
better all day.
Whenever you feel shitty,
that's 'cause of gluten.
That's not true.
It is.
Who the f*** told you not
to eat gluten? It's just true.
You don't even know
what gluten is.
I know what f***ing gluten is.
No, you have no idea
what gluten is.
I do know what gluten is.
Gluten's a vague term.
It's something that's used to categorize
things that are bad, you know?
Calories, that's a gluten.
Fat, that's a gluten.
Somebody just told you you
probably shouldn't eat gluten,
you're like, "Oh, I guess
I shouldn't eat gluten. "
Gluten means bad sh*t, man,
and I'm not eating it.
Mmm!
Mmm-hmm.
Oh!
God!
Each bite is better
than the previous bite.
It is.
Gluten!
Hey, this
looks beautiful.
Yeah. Do you like it?
It's f***ing awesome.
It's all new.
Those are new.
God damn, son!
It's pretty nice, huh?
So this is how
the other half lives.
Come on.
Amazing.
Air hockey tables.
Jesus Murphy!
Right? Okay,
get ready, Jay.
What?
I have a little
surprise for you.
Okay.
Here's the best weekend
you ever had in your life. Oh!
Look at it, man.
Oh, my...
Are you serious?
It's all of your
favorite things.
Starburst and Airheads on a...
Yeah.
And it says "Jay. "
In joints.
In joints.
It says "Jay" in jays.
Seth Rogen, you are just
the best people.
Come on, I know you don't love it in LA,
so I figure I'll make it...
You know, I'll lube up
It eases the transition.
Yeah, right?
This is the much-needed foreplay.
You know what else I got?
Yo, this...
A 3-D television.
No, you didn't...
I got a 3-D TV.
Are you serious?
Oh, my God.
I did it, man.
What?
Let's get into it.
Oh, my God, bud.
It's Gandalf the Grey's pipe.
Damn, no sh*t.
Hello, little hobbit.
Spark my ganja.
Yeah.
I'm a well-known
homosexual advocate.
# Backstreet's back,
all right
# Hey, hey, yeah, well
# Everybody
Rock your body
# Everybody
# Everybody
# Rock your body right
# Rock your body
# Everybody!
# Backstreet's back... #
Oh, my eyes feel like
they're melting.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
I need a break.
Oh. You know what, actually?
We should go to
Franco's house soon.
He's having a housewarming party.
He just finished building his house.
I haven't even seen it yet,
but it's supposed
to be bonkers.
I haven't been
in LA in, like, a year,
and I came here
to chill with you.
We can chill together, and we'll chill
We'll all chill
as one big unit.
Will I even know
anybody there?
You know James Franco.
James Franco doesn't even
know my name.
Jonah Hill will be there.
Can't stand him.
He can't stand me.
He's, like, the nicest guy in the world!
He likes you so much.
He specifically talks
about how he likes you.
Out of nowhere,
he just said, "You know what?
"Jay's an inspiration. "
There's no way he said that.
Also, just can't stand him.
Okay, fine.
Craig Robinson.
Never met him.
He's hilarious.
Sweats a lot,
but he's a great guy.
So it's gonna
be fun, man.
For you, I will go.
I promise, I'll stay
with you all night, okay?
I won't ditch you. No, 'cause I
want to be with you all night.
And you know why else?
'Cause nobody puts
Jay in the corner.
Awesome.
Wow!
Thank you. Thank you.
There you go. Cool.
Thanks a lot, eh?
Thanks a lot.
Okay, man.
Holy sh*t.
Wow!
This is crazy!
Yeah?
Yeah, man, right?
Look at it.
A bit much.
I don't think
it is a bit much.
I think it's right
on the money.
What is he,
Pablo Escobar?
Come on, man, this is an
awesome street.
Channing Tatum
lives up there.
Oh, for the love of...
Will you stop talking about...
This is the sexiest
street in America.
You and
Channing Tatum.
I think
he's attractive.
I think it's a cool house.
I know you do.
I can't wait
to see inside it.
That's why I'm excited.
Ha-ha! Yes!
What's up, man? Seth!
So happy you're here.
I'm so happy to be here.
Hey, Johnny,
what's up?
It's Jay.
It's Jay.
I'll never forget it again, man.
Good to see you.
Nice to see you.
Come on in. Yeah! Yeah, great.
Check it out.
My new place!
Awesome, man!
Designed it myself.
Really cool.
This place is beautiful, man.
This place is
like a piece of me.
You two just
stepped inside me.
You let us both
cum inside you. Yeah.
Icing on the cake.
Check it out.
Painted them myself.
Huh.
Side by side.
A team.
Holy sh*t.
So, is it weird?
No.
You sure?
I really like it.
What do you think, Jay?
I'm not a big art guy.
You don't like art?
Well, come on...
You play video games?
Yes.
Well, guess what, buddy?
You like art.
Yep.
You ever been
to Subway?
Yes.
You order a sandwich?
Somebody put that together
for you, dude. That's art.
Sandwich artist.
So, let me
lay this on you, Jay.
Oh, f***.
Your mama's p*ssy
was the canvas.
Your dad's dick
was the paintbrush.
Boom.
You're the art. Huh?
Thanks, James Franco.
You got it.
Seth!
Mindy, hello.
Oh, my God, great to see you.
Oh, you, too.
Long time.
How's it going?
You know Jay? I don't think
I've ever actually met you.
You were so good in
Million Dollar Baby.
That's amazing.
Thank you so much for saying that.
Oh, my God, if I don't f***
Michael Cera tonight,
What?
F***ing pale, 110 pounds,
hairless, probably has a huge cock,
coked out of his mind...
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"This Is the End" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 13 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/this_is_the_end_21800>.
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