This Is the End

Hey, Seth Rogen. What up, man?

Oh, hey, John!

Over here!

Welcome to Los Angeles

International Airport.

Attention, all passengers.

Do not leave your

baggage unattended.

All unattended baggage

is subject to search...

Yay!

We're so happy!

Look at this!

What's happening, man?

Good to see you, buddy.

How you doing?

I'm good, man.

Yes, you are.

How long

has it been, man?

Sometime in the last...

Inside of a year or something.

Yeah.

I have the best weekend

ever planned, man.

Lay it on me. Ooh!

I don't want to ruin it.

Seth Rogen!

Sh*t, here we go. Hey.

How's it going, man?

Yeah, good.

So, you, like, always play, like,

the same guy in every movie.

When are you gonna do some,

like, real acting, man?

Okay, thank you.

Give me something.

Give me, like, the laugh, man.

Give me

the Seth Rogen laugh.

Seth Rogen, everybody.

All right, I've landed. I'm here.

We've said our hellos.

Can we please go to

f***ing Carl's Jr.?

Oh.

I would... I would love to.

I'm on a...

I can't really eat

that stuff right now.

I'm on a, uh...

What?

I'm on this cleanse.

You're...

You're on a what?

I'm on a cleanse.

What?

It's good for you.

I didn't know... You're supposed

to take six shits a day.

That's not true.

It is true!

You're supposed to sh*t

twice a day. No.

That's not true.

That's what they used to think.

Now they know you're supposed

to sh*t six times a day.

So you're not drinking.

You're not smoking weed. You're not...

No, no, I'm drinking

and smoking weed. But...

I'm on a cleanse.

I'm not psychotic.

Look, man, if you stopped

eating gluten,

you'd feel way f***ing

better all day.

Whenever you feel shitty,

that's 'cause of gluten.

That's not true.

It is.

Who the f*** told you not

to eat gluten? It's just true.

You don't even know

what gluten is.

I know what f***ing gluten is.

No, you have no idea

what gluten is.

I do know what gluten is.

Gluten's a vague term.

It's something that's used to categorize

things that are bad, you know?

Calories, that's a gluten.

Fat, that's a gluten.

Somebody just told you you

probably shouldn't eat gluten,

you're like, "Oh, I guess

I shouldn't eat gluten. "

Gluten means bad sh*t, man,

and I'm not eating it.

Mmm!

Mmm-hmm.

Oh!

God!

Each bite is better

than the previous bite.

It is.

Gluten!

Hey, this

looks beautiful.

Yeah. Do you like it?

I totally redid it.

It's f***ing awesome.

It's all new.

Those are new.

God damn, son!

It's pretty nice, huh?

So this is how

the other half lives.

Come on.

Amazing.

Air hockey tables.

Jesus Murphy!

Right? Okay,

get ready, Jay.

What?

I have a little

surprise for you.

Okay.

Here's the best weekend

you ever had in your life. Oh!

Look at it, man.

Oh, my...

Are you serious?

It's all of your

favorite things.

Starburst and Airheads on a...

Yeah.

And it says "Jay. "

In joints.

In joints.

It says "Jay" in jays.

Seth Rogen, you are just

the best people.

Come on, I know you don't love it in LA,

so I figure I'll make it...

You know, I'll lube up

your entry a little bit.

It eases the transition.

Yeah, right?

This is the much-needed foreplay.

You know what else I got?

Yo, this...

A 3-D television.

No, you didn't...

I got a 3-D TV.

Are you serious?

Oh, my God.

I did it, man.

What?

Let's get into it.

Oh, my God, bud.

It's Gandalf the Grey's pipe.

Damn, no sh*t.

Hello, little hobbit.

Spark my ganja.

Yeah.

I'm a well-known

homosexual advocate.

# Backstreet's back,

all right

# Hey, hey, yeah, well

# Everybody

Rock your body

# Everybody

# Everybody

# Rock your body right

# Rock your body

# Everybody!

# Backstreet's back... #

Oh, my eyes feel like

they're melting.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

I need a break.

Oh. You know what, actually?

We should go to

Franco's house soon.

He's having a housewarming party.

He just finished building his house.

I haven't even seen it yet,

but it's supposed

to be bonkers.

I haven't been

in LA in, like, a year,

and I came here

to chill with you.

We can chill together, and we'll chill

with those other guys.

We'll all chill

as one big unit.

Will I even know

anybody there?

You know James Franco.

James Franco doesn't even

know my name.

Jonah Hill will be there.

Can't stand him.

He can't stand me.

He's, like, the nicest guy in the world!

He likes you so much.

He specifically talks

about how he likes you.

Out of nowhere,

he just said, "You know what?

"Jay's an inspiration. "

There's no way he said that.

Also, just can't stand him.

Okay, fine.

Craig Robinson.

Never met him.

He's hilarious.

Sweats a lot,

but he's a great guy.

So it's gonna

be fun, man.

For you, I will go.

I promise, I'll stay

with you all night, okay?

I won't ditch you. No, 'cause I

want to be with you all night.

And you know why else?

'Cause nobody puts

Jay in the corner.

Awesome.

Wow!

Thank you. Thank you.

There you go. Cool.

Thanks a lot, eh?

Thanks a lot.

Okay, man.

Holy sh*t.

Wow!

This is crazy!

Yeah?

Yeah, man, right?

Look at it.

A bit much.

I don't think

it is a bit much.

I think it's right

on the money.

What is he,

Pablo Escobar?

Come on, man, this is an

awesome street.

Channing Tatum

lives up there.

Oh, for the love of...

Will you stop talking about...

This is the sexiest

street in America.

You and

Channing Tatum.

I think

he's attractive.

I think it's a cool house.

I know you do.

I can't wait

to see inside it.

That's why I'm excited.

Ha-ha! Yes!

What's up, man? Seth!

So happy you're here.

I'm so happy to be here.

Hey, Johnny,

what's up?

It's Jay.

It's Jay.

I'll never forget it again, man.

Good to see you.

Nice to see you.

Come on in. Yeah! Yeah, great.

Check it out.

My new place!

Awesome, man!

Designed it myself.

Really cool.

This place is beautiful, man.

This place is

like a piece of me.

You two just

stepped inside me.

You let us both

cum inside you. Yeah.

Icing on the cake.

Check it out.

Painted them myself.

Huh.

Side by side.

A team.

Holy sh*t.

So, is it weird?

No.

You sure?

I really like it.

What do you think, Jay?

I'm not a big art guy.

You don't like art?

Well, come on...

You play video games?

Yes.

Well, guess what, buddy?

You like art.

Yep.

You ever been

to Subway?

Yes.

You order a sandwich?

Somebody put that together

for you, dude. That's art.

Sandwich artist.

So, let me

lay this on you, Jay.

Oh, f***.

Your mama's p*ssy

was the canvas.

Your dad's dick

was the paintbrush.

Boom.

You're the art. Huh?

Thanks, James Franco.

You got it.

Seth!

Mindy, hello.

Oh, my God, great to see you.

Oh, you, too.

Long time.

How's it going?

You know Jay? I don't think

I've ever actually met you.

You were so good in

Million Dollar Baby.

That's amazing.

Thank you so much for saying that.

Oh, my God, if I don't f***

Michael Cera tonight,

I'm gonna blow my brains out.

What?

F***ing pale, 110 pounds,

hairless, probably has a huge cock,

coked out of his mind...

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