This Is the End Page #2

You can do a lot better.

That's just trouble.

So, Ri-Ri, how about you,

you ever see a psychiatrist?

Um...

That's not cool.

Don't touch my butt, b*tch.

Michael, that's not cool.

Would you shut the f*** up, Jason!

We're playing

a game, man.

Say cheese, baby.

What's up, buddy?

How's it going, dude?

Good to see you, man.

Is that Jay Baruchel?

Hi, there. Hey.

Oh, my God,

get in here, dude.

How's it going, Jonah?

What are you doing?

Good. How you doing, buddy?

Oh, my gosh.

Welcome back.

Thank you very much.

When'd you get in?

Uh, this morning,

and boy,

are my arms tired.

Dude, that's great.

Thank you.

Sick.

What have you guys

been doing?

Oh, we just

hung out all day.

Ate a bunch of dirty burgers,

and smoked about a f***ing pound of weed

and played

a bunch of video games.

Weed is tight. Weed is

tight. That's awesome.

That's awesome.

Weed is awesome.

It was like the golfing

sequence in Navy SEALs.

Sick reference, though,

bro. Oh, thanks, bud.

Dude, your references are out

of control. Everyone knows that.

Hey, thanks, man.

I'm jealous.

I would have been there

in a heartbeat,

but, uh, I actually just

adopted this incontinent spaniel.

She's a really

beautiful soul.

Her name's Ahjhai.

Ahjhai?

Yeah.

How do you spell it?

A - H - J - H - A - I.

A - H...

You want to see

a picture of her?

Oh, she's so sweet.

Hey!

Look at her.

Aw!

She can't bark. She

doesn't know how, so...

She doesn't know

how to bark, even?

She doesn't know

how to bark,

so I've tried

to teach her

and she just kind of

screams, and so she was up,

had her face smushed against

the cage, and was, like...

Ah!

Yeah, cool. Um...

Tell you what, boys,

I'm kind of jonesing,

so I'm gonna find someone I can bum

a smoke off of outside, all right?

That's tight, dude.

Honestly, I like you.

Hey, likewise.

Okay, dude, come back.

I'll be right back. You're

holding court. All right, boys.

Dude. I know. I think

we're making some progress.

That was really good.

And honestly,

he's your old friend.

We're your new friends.

He feels threatened.

Yeah, man.

You know,

and I get it.

It's gonna be fine.

I honestly think

tonight's the night

we bust

this whole thing open.

And I'm lucky. It's the

same thing a lot, though.

It's, like, my TV wife

opens the fridge,

and is, like, "What happened

to the birthday cake?"

And I come out with, like,

a little frosting, like,

"What birthday cake?"

'Cause you ate the cake! Yeah.

'Cause you ate the cake!

"It's my birthday. "

That's why y'all number

one. 'Cause of that.

You're Jay, right?

Yeah.

Seth's boy?

Yeah.

How you doing, man?

Good to see you.

Good.

Likewise, likewise.

I'm Craig, man. This

is Emma. Hi. Hi, there.

You just in town visiting him, or what?

Yeah. Just for a little visit, you know.

I try to not come down here very much.

I don't really

love it here.

You don't like LA?

I'm just not really

into the LA lifestyle.

What lifestyle

are you into?

Look at him. He's,

like, a hipster, right?

No, I'm not

a hipster, at all.

Yeah, yeah, you do seem

to hate a lot of things,

and the bottom of your

pants are awful tight.

No, I just... I don't like Los

Angeles. It doesn't make me a hipster.

I'll bet you hate movies

that are universally loved.

I don't even...

You like Forrest Gump?

No, no, it's a horrendous piece of sh*t.

"Life is like a box

of chocolates," no?

Yeah, no,

I'm familiar with it.

"You never know

what you're gonna get. "

Why don't we do a sequel

to Pineapple Express?

I would love to do

a sequel to Pineapple.

Do you have

any ideas, or...

I do have an idea.

What?

It's that Red, Danny, has

become, like, the drug lord,

you know, since we

killed the other one,

and he wants to

assassinate Woody Harrelson,

'cause he's gonna give a speech

that makes all of weed legal,

effectively rendering

drug lords out of business.

Awesome. Yeah, it's f***ing awesome,

but we don't have... We don't

know how it should end yet.

I... I know.

Danny's trying to kill us. Yeah.

And I sacrifice

myself for you.

And he kills me,

and I die for you.

And Danny

f***ing eats me.

Why does he eat you? I don't know.

I'm just trying to think of,

like, the nastiest way to go.

Yeah, he could eat you.

Okay. That's a good idea, man.

He's just out of his mind.

He just, like, eats me.

Hey, Chris.

How's it going?

Hey, does this coke smell funny? Ooh!

F***! Michael, what the f***, man?

That's expensive sh*t,

motherf***er!

What are you doing?

I've never f***ing done cocaine,

dude. Why does it f***ing...

Well, you did the best sh*t

possible for your first time,

'cause that's

good f***ing...

F***, f***, f***,

I'm nervous, dude.

I don't know what... What

is wrong with you, man?

Look, he's freaking out. Oh, sh*t.

I've never done this

f***ing drug before, man.

Mike, please.

I'll walk you through it.

I will walk you through it.

Mike, no one...

I'll be your guide.

You're fine, Chris.

You're fine. Is it on...

You got some in

your mustache, baby.

What are you...

Michael!

Now, fellas, I want you

to real sexy right now.

We're gonna sing

to all the ladies.

All the fellas go like this,

in your Barry White voice.

# Take your panties off

# Take your panties off

# Come on, Rihanna

Take your panties off for me

# Come on, Craig,

can you f*** off for me? #

I'll do one of them things.

Like an angel.

What about

the host of the party?

# I ain't got

no panties on

# He ain't got no

panties, everybody!

# We ain't got

no panties on

# We ain't got

no panties on

# We ain't got no panties on

# Ain't nobody

got no panties on

# We ain't got

no panties on

# Ain't no party

like a no-panty party

# 'Cause a no-panty party

don't stop

# F*** those panties

# F*** those...

# F*** those panties

# F*** those panties #

What's not kid-friendly?

There's a lot of sharp edges.

Concrete, sharp edges.

He's gonna bust his head open

on one of those things.

A kid could fall off this

f***ing railing right here.

That's why you have the railing,

so they don't fall.

Hey. Sorry.

I want to have kids one day.

Hey, Jay.

Oh, hey, hi, Jonah.

Is there any place around here

I can buy a pack of cigarettes?

Yeah.

There's a place like, it's like,

four blocks away, maybe.

You want to

come with me?

Give me this much time.

That much joint time.

Oh!

Jesus!

Hey, Jay.

Hey, you need to use the toilet, honey?

Go ahead.

Nope, I'm... I sorry.

Who wants a sip?

Sip time.

You okay, man?

It's nothing.

It's just, you know,

as soon as we got there, you did what you

said you wouldn't do.

What did I do?

You just f***ing ditched my ass.

I didn't ditch you.

Are you kidding me, man?

I did not ditch you.

I was talking to Jonah, and then you left

to go have a cigarette.

Well, you know, my cigarette

was an excuse.

I really went outside 'cause

Jonah was being a prick.

Jonah was not

being a prick.

If anything, you were

kind of being a prick.

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