This Is Your Death Page #4

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Shakespeare knew this.

Milton, Beckett...

What-- what're you doing?

Looking to see

if you secretly have Wikipedia

open on your phone.

Uh, shots anyone?

- Yes.

- Yeah.

Hey, good news.

I found you more hours.

Really?

Thank you.

- Hey, I appreciate it.

- Yeah, no problem.

It's three hours a night in Riverside.

It starts at 2:
30am.

Woah, Jerry, wait.

2:
30?

I-I finish here at 2:00.

I can't make it from Century

City to Riverside in 30 minutes.

It takes 75 minutes, no traffic.

Sorry, man.

Take it or leave it.

No, no--

Woah, woah, woah.

Jerry, if I take it and I'm

late, you're gonna fire me.

Hey, look.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't I get there at 3:00 and I go

till 6:
00? I'll speed as fast as I can.

No. No can do.

It's a finance office.

They come into work at 5:30.

Well, I'm sorry, then.

I can't take it.

Well, I, too, am sorry.

QMB Janitorial Corporation will

no longer need your services.

We'll send you your final

two paychecks by mail.

Wait-- no, no--

Come on, Jerry!

Look, come on, I'm never late,

I work harder than

everyone else!

Why are you settin' me up?

Is this about the benefits?

Look-- look, forget

I even asked.

Look, I don't care about the benefits.

Forget it.

Jerry? Jerry! Jerry!

What you're doing is barbaric.

I thought you stood

for something.

Thank you.

I appreciate your...

input. A**hole.

Oh, no. Did you turn on

your phone?

Uh, no. No, I'm, uh... I'm good.

Uh, why don't we get outta here?

Ah, yeah.

I'm not like that, okay?

I'll drop you off.

That's okay, I can get

my own Uber. Thank you.

We can Uber together.

Let's Uber pool.

It's cheap, and we may not

have jobs tomorrow, so...

You know nothing about me.

That's not true!

I know you're from Cleveland.

Oh.

And I know you're an only child.

And I know that you would

rather be living in New York,

but Broadway is your

ex-husband's domain,

so here you are,

slumming it on TV.

Well, my, uh, my panties

are sopping wet.

I'm not finished.

I know that you eat too much

kale for your own good,

and I know that you think that

real men don't drink white wine,

but I don't really give

a sh*t because I love it.

And I also know that, like me...

you just want to make

something meaningful and lasting

in this screwed up,

swipe right, sh*t-for-brains

world we live in.

How am I doing?

You might just be the smartest

idiot that I've ever met.

- Really?

- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, well, I did go

to Yale for two years.

- Did you?

- Yeah.

Why did you drop out?

- Wouldn't you like to know?

- Mm-hmm.

Let's go.

This is not a yes.

I never said it was a yes.

O... kay.

Excuse me, sir.

Uh, the dishwasher

you've got, the old guy?

He's a real dick.

Him.

A new show aired

on the WBC network last night.

The incredible thing is the show

seemingly came out of nowhere.

No press, no advertising, nada.

Now, if it turns out to be real,

WBC is gonna have a lot

to answer for.

Just take a look

at our Facebook page.

People are enraged.

I'm taking callers.

First up, Ne--

Holy sh*t.

Okay, okay!

Hey, hey, hey!

Karina, what the f-

Now I know why you've

been hiding from me.

Uh, can we talk about

this later, please?

You told me that you

were getting out.

I did get out. This is

not a reality show.

No sh*t, it's worse.

- Can we-- can we-- seriously.

- No, no, no, no.

Everybody at work knows

that I'm your sister.

I don't-- you-- you can't

f***ing do this to me!

- What? I'm not-- this is not about you.

- Are you kidding me?

Adam, have you got my phone?

Oh, I'm... sorry.

Hey. Uh, uh, Sylvia, this is

my sister, Karina.

Karina, Sylvia.

Hi.

Hi. Girlfriend?

- Yeah.

- No.

No, no.

I am his producer

and this was a drunken decision.

Come on.

Transparency, right?

Sylvia, I don't like your show.

Oh, neither do I.

Trust me.

Okay.

I like her, Adam.

Don't f*** it up.

Thanks for your input.

Shut up.

Our country has never been

more politically

or socially fractured.

People watch and read

the news they agree with.

There's no dissenting

opinion anymore.

There's no honest debate.

It's just theatrics.

This whole show is theatrics.

Wait a second. Are you

talking about our show or theirs?

Hi, daddy.

How was work?

It was fantastic.

How was your sleep?

They cut our cable

and internet last night.

I see.

Well, more time to read, hit

the books and study, right?

Dad, is everything o--

Hey, you got any tests today?

- History.

- Are you ready?

Of course, but can we--

Who was the 16th president

of the United States?

Abe Lincoln, but--

And who was the 17th?

I don't know. My test

is on the Civil War.

So what?

The future president's gotta know

all his predecessors, right?

I guess so.

...salacious,

and downright unconscionable.

Not only should it be taken

off the air,

the creator should be jailed!

Oh, come on now.

It's provocative, yes,

but what if we take Adam Rogers

seriously for a moment?

What if he's right?

What if this show is exactly

what we need--

All right, little man.

I'm gonna prep you for surgery.

Last check-up before I go.

How are you feeling?

You still nauseous?

I'm fine, but the news

has been crapping

all over your brother

this morning.

I don't want you watching that garbage.

You're too young.

Please.

I'm as mature as you.

Funny man, huh?

You're not gonna worry, right?

Routine procedure.

That's what they always say.

- You're gonna be just fine.

- That too.

But my favorite one

is "you're so strong".

It's the water commission.

They call at 9:
00,

right after the cable company,

who won't be calling no more

'cause it's shut down.

I lost my job.

Which one?

Both of them.

Dare I ask why?

Does it matter?

Okay. Okay, I can

pick up the slack.

I'll try to get some

more hours at the hotel

and I'll join Mary Kay.

- I can sew--

- Rebecca.

I can sell Tupperware,

I can sell vitamins--

- Rebecca, I'm not giving up.

- I know.

But I don't think you

understand what I'm saying.

You lose this house

and you lose us.

Hello, this is Mason Washington.

The money's coming.

I appreciate your patience.

Thank you.

We quintupled our audience twice

over from beginning to end,

and that's not even counting

plus three and plus five.

- Does this mean that we're number--

- Number three.

Behind NBC and CBS, but still.

With no press, no promotion?

Not bad.

We're gonna be

number one next week.

That's a ten million

viewer jump.

Yeah, I understand

ratings share.

- Holy sh*t.

- All right, hot shot.

Here's my concern.

People are going to tire of

giving contestants pity money.

Okay, first of all,

they're not contestants,

- and it's not pity money.

- Oh, you know what I mean.

We are giving our audience

the power to enact change,

to empathize with the

people they relate to.

It's not gonna get

too old, too fast.

Oh, yeah, it will.

Trust me.

You created an event.

We need a show.

We'll just bring

more people on each week.

- We'll pick up the pace.

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