This Means War
- All eyes are up.
- Sat cams are good.
Target is inbound.
ETA five minutes.
Mission is a go.
Repeat, you are green to go.
Intercept and apprehend
the Heinrich brothers.
Secure the device.
And remember, this mission is covert.
I've got some action.
Hi, my name is Xenia.
- Pleased to meet you. I'm Tuck.
FDR.
So what brings you to Hong Kong?
- Business or pleasure?
- Pleasure.
- Business.
- A little of both.
What kind of business?
I am a cruise ship captain
of a very large vessel.
is a kick-ass travel agent.
Permission to come aboard, captain?
On that note, will you excuse us, ladies,
because we do have work to do.
- No, we don't.
- Yes, we do.
Yes, we do.
That's a lovely suit.
Well, it is Savile Row's finest.
I see you brought your baby brother
to protect you.
What did you say?
Let's go, Jonas.
Shots fired. Men down.
All right. Here we go.
Mag. I need a mag.
Shoot him.
Tuck!
Jonas!
- Heinrich is not gonna be happy.
- I'm more concerned about the boss.
Definitely. Hey, you think
Here we go.
So the Coretex has minimal damage.
There's some calcining
around the edges.
However, the Tempolite has damage
and there's rusting around 300 degrees.
So that means
the Coretex gets the recommend.
See, Em? The best product always wins.
- Oh, Lauren.
- Yes.
I was just wondering if I might skip out
a little bit early for the holiday weekend.
Jerry's taking me to an alpaca farm.
Oh, yeah, of course.
It's a holiday. And a weekend.
Yeah, so you should do that.
- Okay.
- Have fun.
- You have fun too.
- I will.
Tuck. FDR.
Six men in the morgue.
A body in the middle of the street.
Yes, but to be fair, we did manage to...
- Shut up.
- To... That's me shutting up, right now.
The mission parameters
of the Heinrich case...
...were clearly indicated to be covert.
Thanks to you two geniuses...
...Heinrich will be seeking revenge
for his brother's death.
You guys are grounded.
- What?
- Grounded?
And just maybe.
I'm gonna make it.
- Hey, Lauren. Lauren. Hey, hey.
- Oh, oh!
Hi, Steve, hey.
- Hey.
- It's Steve.
Yeah. Oh, my... I'm so sorry.
Uh, Lauren, this is Kelly.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- It's very nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you too, yeah.
- Wow, ha, ha, what a big rock.
- Yeah.
My fiance, yes. Yeah.
- You are engaged?
- Yeah.
To be married.
Things just worked out exactly
how they're supposed to, didn't they?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yes.
Looks cool.
Okay, well, you know what?
I'm gonna go
because I'm gonna go meet my guy, Ken.
Huh.
- Uh, he's a surgeon.
- Wow.
- So, great, well...
...um, congratulations on your ring and...
- Oh, thanks.
- ...and your life...
- ...and your bikes and everything.
- Yeah.
Okay. Well, peace.
- See you.
- Okay. Bye.
I just said "peace."
I want to die right now.
Sushi for one.
Hey, Ken.
- The usual?
- Yeah.
- Long day, huh?
- You don't know the half of it.
This is too funny.
Hysterical.
I'm sorry. This must be
your boyfriend's seat. Uh, Ken, right?
- Oh, yeah.
- No.
Sushi for one. Yeah. Always for one.
Ugh! It was the most
humiliating moment ever.
Well, because you have to come up
with, like, better excuses.
You should've been, "I have a fianc too.
But he's getting a penile reduction..."
...because his penis is so big
every time it lands like a poltergeist."
Can't think of anything when I see him.
I just can't believe
I gave up everything for him.
It's just, I felt so stupid.
I left my friends, my family...
Don't say that, I'm happy you moved here.
We have a happy life together.
He was my person.
He was your person. You know
what kind of person he ended up?
The person that ends up with a girl
that makes out after she eats yellowtail.
I like sushi. She seemed really nice.
She was really pretty.
Well, I don't give a sh*t about her.
I give a sh*t about you and your love life.
I'm going out, dating, meeting guys.
Oh, please, you're not... You date,
but you're not taking it seriously.
Don't use that brand, it leaves a film.
That one's much more effective.
I wish you would act like that
with men.
You can choose a laundry detergent,
but you can't choose a guy you want...
That's my job. It's easier.
There's charts, there's numbers.
That's why you start online dating.
They have lots of charts.
- Not that again.
- What is your problem with online?
What's my problem?
Do you watch Dateline?
How many creeps are out there?
I could end up a skin suit
or in somebody's trunk.
Uh, that's a little dramatic, okay?
That happens to, like, one in 20 girls.
You're not gonna end up in a trunk.
If you're lucky...
...somebody will end up in your trunk.
That's your trunk.
Ha, ha. Stop.
You need to get back out there, okay?
Yeah, sure, you might make a mistake
and end up with the wrong guy...
...but you might end up meeting
the right guy. So isn't that worth it?
What is the worst thing
that could happen?
Skin suit. Skin suit's pretty bad.
Thank you for having me
to your nana's.
Are you kidding me? You're
my best friend. We're family.
Oh, my God.
- This is gluten-free. Try a taste.
- Hm?
Why the heck are you two sitting over here
all by yourselves?
You're not gonna make me
any great-grandbabies this way.
It is a family gathering, Nana.
I don't think you want us
making any great-grandbabies.
To be fair, I have already provided you
with a wonderful great-grandchild.
Yeah, but that doesn't count
because you screwed it all up.
- Ouch.
- Come on, Lil.
Let's show these kids
how it's done, huh?
- Heh, heh. See?
- Ciao.
It's kind of gross when they kiss.
God, I love that kid.
What's going on?
Hey, Mr. Deep-ln-Thought.
I was just...
That kind of thing's lovely, isn't it?
- It's really lovely.
- What's lovely?
I love the way
they look into each other's eyes like that.
I'm pretty sure that's the cataracts.
Have you... Okay. You asked me
a serious question, didn't you?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Right. So do you want a serious answer?
- Yeah. Put the cake down?
- Please.
- Okay.
- Thank you.
Cake is down. Talk to me.
- Well, no, seriously, man chat. Okay?
- Okay.
Man to man.
I trust you.
I know you'd do anything for me.
- Yeah.
- You would take a bullet for me.
I would for you as well, you know that.
Right?
- Can you imagine all of that?
- Yes.
Can you imagine what that would be like
to share with a woman?
No.
Okay.
No.
Thank you.
All right, Joe, Steven, you're up.
- All right, Joe. Good luck, son.
- Let's go to war.
That's it. Now you feint. Nice feint.
Hit.
- Oh, nice. Get on him. Oh!
Down he goes. Ground and pound him.
Get on him. Ground and pound.
Ground and pound.
- Uh....
- Keep it going. Hammerfist him.
Right there, that's it.
Hit it. He's giving you his back.
- Rear naked choke.
- I give.
- Yes. He's tapping. He's out. Booyah!
- I give.
See what I mean?
That's how it works, boy.
Translation
Translate and read this script in other languages:
Select another language:
- - Select -
- 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
- 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
- Español (Spanish)
- Esperanto (Esperanto)
- 日本語 (Japanese)
- Português (Portuguese)
- Deutsch (German)
- العربية (Arabic)
- Français (French)
- Русский (Russian)
- ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
- 한국어 (Korean)
- עברית (Hebrew)
- Gaeilge (Irish)
- Українська (Ukrainian)
- اردو (Urdu)
- Magyar (Hungarian)
- मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
- Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Italiano (Italian)
- தமிழ் (Tamil)
- Türkçe (Turkish)
- తెలుగు (Telugu)
- ภาษาไทย (Thai)
- Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
- Čeština (Czech)
- Polski (Polish)
- Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
- Românește (Romanian)
- Nederlands (Dutch)
- Ελληνικά (Greek)
- Latinum (Latin)
- Svenska (Swedish)
- Dansk (Danish)
- Suomi (Finnish)
- فارسی (Persian)
- ייִדיש (Yiddish)
- հայերեն (Armenian)
- Norsk (Norwegian)
- English (English)
Citation
Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:
Style:MLAChicagoAPA
"This Means War" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/this_means_war_21806>.
Discuss this script with the community:
Report Comment
We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.
If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly.
Attachment
You need to be logged in to favorite.
Log In