Three And Out

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Oh, I just don't know where to begin

Though he says he'll wait forever

It's now or never

But she keeps him hanging on

The silly champion

She says she can't go home

Without a chaperon

Accidents will happen

We only hit and run

Used to be a victim

Now you're not the only one

Accidents will happen

We only hit and run

I don't want to hear it...

- What you lookin' at?

- Shut up!

Allow it, man.

You almost started a fight.

There's so many fish in the sea...

- Tyson!

- #... They say you're so young

Your mind is made up

But your mouth is undone

Accidents will happen...

... He used to be your victim

Now you're not the only one...

First one, was it?

Always a choker, first time out.

What did they give you?

Let's have a look. Sick leave,

post-traumatic stress...

- Seven days only?!

- You saw the trauma team?

Asked if I wanted counselling,

or someone in the cab.

One of them counsellors is hot.

- You should ask for her.

- First one stays with you.

Never forget it. Second one,

maybe you remember, maybe not.

But the third one...

The third one, what?

What?

- D'you fancy a pint? Take your mind off things.

- Nah... wouldn't seem right, thanks.

Oof! You know what, bruv?

You wanna get out more.

Somebody help me, yeah

Somebody help me now

Won't somebody tell me

what I've done wrong?

I need someone...

- Mind the gap.

- #... I need a girl to hold me tight

Someone who can make me feel

Make me feel all right-ight-ight-ight-ight...

This train terminates

at London Bridge.

... Somebody help me, yeah

Somebody help me now

Somebody tell me

what I've done wrong

- # Somebody help me!

- # Somebody help me, yeah

- # Somebody help me

- # Somebody help me now

- # Somebody help me, yeah

- # All right

Somebody help me now

Won't somebody tell me

what I've done wrong

What I've done wrong...

Accidents will happen

We only hit and run...

- Big issue!

- # Now you're not the only one

Accidents will happen

We'll only hit and run

I don't want to hear it

'Cause I know what I've done...

Train approaching.

Please stand behind the yellow line.

There's so many fish in the sea

- Pauly...

- Pauly...

- What are we going to do with you?

- Second in a month? Becoming a habit.

- Wasn't my fault.

- Don't, don't, don't say that.

He was dead before I hit him. I tried to stop...

Course you did.

C'mon. Just a bit of bad luck, that's all.

The psychological effect

is still the same, innit?

- It all counts in the big game.

- Shh.

What "big game"?

The one nobody talks about.

- So why are we talking about it?

- 'Cause we care about you, Pauly.

You all right, Paul. See ya later, fellas.

- See ya later, Rob.

- Yeah, see ya later, Rob.

- Three is the magic number.

- The rule, man, the rule.

- What rule?

Three and out.

You hit three people in a month,

they pay you off.

They retire you, 'cause they reckon

you can't deal with it up top...

Three is the charm. It's three...

...and out

- And we're talking ten years' salary.

Lump sum. Thank you very much.

- How much?!

- No-one's ever done it. Not in a month.

- Whoa...

- No, you nearly did in '98.

But I missed it by three days.

Ten years' wages.

- So, how long did he get?

- Caught him at the biscuits.

Gave him six months.

Out in two with good behaviour.

Tell you what. You wanna get

yourself on the Central Line.

- They is always at it.

- Argh...

When does your month run out?

Erm... week today. Monday.

What? Seven days. That's pushing it.

When you on next?

Monday. They gave me the week off.

A week off?! That just gives you till, what?

Monday? Bastards! You know why that is?

That's so you ain't even got a chance.

Yeah. Never mind, mate. Another time, eh.

Oh, it's you... Landlord was here today.

He was looking for you. Again.

- Says you owe him two months' rent.

- I've got it right here.

Whoa! Don't shoot the messenger.

I don't care whether you pay him or not.

Hey... Do you want to come up?

Er... No, thanks. I've got some work to do.

Well, if you change your mind...

- The rule, man, the rule.

- Ten years' wages.

Three is the charm. It's three...

... and out.

You hit three people in a month,

they retire you, 'cause they reckon

you can't deal with it up top.

- Three...

- ... and out.

- Capital...

- ... 95.8.

It's been a London landmark

for over a hundred years,

but after a rise in fatalities

the bridge in Holborn

is gaining a reputation for copycat incidents.

Now the authorities are increasingly

concerned about the rising suicide rate.

- Ten great songs.

- London's music station.

Are you feeling tired, stressed

or do you need a break?

With Special Places...

F***in' hell.

Yeah, hi, erm... I was wondering...

I've got some time on my hands

and I thought maybe I could...

you know, volunteer,

do the odd afternoon or... whatever.

A training course? Oh, right.

I couldn't just drop in and...

No.

Oh, right. Information pack?

No, no, I'm fine.

No, I've changed my mind. Bye.

Excuse me, sir.

Erm... you're obviously on your last legs.

I was wondering...

I'm gonna find ya

I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha

One way or another

I'm gonna win ya

I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha

One way or another

I'm gonna see ya

I wanna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya

One day, maybe next week

I'm gonna meet ya

I'm gonna meet ya, I'll meet ya

I will drive past your house...

... And if the lights are all down

I'll see who's around

One way or another

I'm gonna find ya

I'm gonna getcha, getcha, getcha, getcha

One way or another

I'm gonna win ya

I'll getcha, I'll getcha

One way or another

I'm gonna see ya

I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya

One day, maybe next week

I'm gonna meet ya,

I'll meet ya, I'll meet ya...

Hello.

Are you Paul?

Erm... yes.

Hello, I am Maurice.

I'm pleased to make

your acquaintance.

Please. Eat.

I made them myself. My own recipe.

I am so pleased to meet you, Paul.

There are not many people who would do this.

- Glad to help.

- So, where will we do this thing?

In your apartment?

Well, no, on the underground. Tube.

Ah, yes, but how is this possible?

Well, I'll be driving the train

and you can... you know... jump.

Jump! Are you crazy? I'd be killed.

Well, that's the general idea.

- But what about the cooking?

- Cooking?

Mais oui. The cooking and the eating.

Sorry? What cooking?

I wish to watch as you eat...

Piece by piece.

Eat what?

Me!

First we cut off my penis.

Then we fry it, er... perhaps with onions.

Then we do the legs,

and the arms, and so on,

until I am all gone.

Don't worry, Paul.

Many people have done this before.

Don't you read the news?

It tastes a little like pork.

How is your sausage?

What? Is, er... too spicy?

There's been a mistake. I'm sorry.

One way or another

I'm gonna lose ya...

... I'm gonna give ya the slip

A slip of the lip, or another

I'm gonna lose ya

- # I'm gonna give ya the slip...

Hey! Sh*t!

- Wait! Don't do it!

- Oh! What the?

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