Three to Tango Page #2

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...with an interplay--

Mr. Newman, I'd like

to say at this juncture...

...how grateful we are for this opportunity.

I mean, we're excited and indebted.

Oscar, you might want to...

...save some of your dignity

for later, in case you need it.

I'm just telling him how thrilled we both--

I appreciate your loyalty, Oscar.

It's a rare commodity these days.

Can I talk to you for a moment privately?

You know, you're quite a guy,

Oscar Novak.

''Novak.'' That's Hungarian, right?

Great.

You know, Lenore told me about....

Anyways, I told her I think it's great

to have people of your...

...background working for me.

You and Peter.

Peter isn't.

He isn't?

No. I am, though. 100 percent.

I see.

You'd be surprised

how many of us there are.

Whatever. It doesn't bother me.

Can I be honest with you?

I'm married.

Well, how nice for you.

I also have a girlfriend.

Great.

Amy is an amazing woman.

Artist.

Impulsive. Unpredictable.

A free spirit.

Tonight she opens an exhibit of her work.

I can't be there.

This was very upsetting to me, but...

...I'm not upset anymore.

You're not?

Because you'll be there.

-I'll be there?

-Great.

I'd like you to stay close to her.

Tell me who she talks to,

that sort of thing.

There's one guy in particular,

Kevin Cartwright.

Ex-boyfriend of hers. Real persistent guy.

I'm very worried about him.

What do you say?

Peter Elasavic kicking it away.

Holdman will grab it back on the seven.

Go, buddy. Go, go, go!

Run me through this one more time.

Charles asked you...

...to spy on his mistress...

...and you just said yes?

-What else could I have said?

-Let's see.

No.

What do we got this week?

-Dim sum.

-Awesome.

Hurry up and ''dimmy some.''

Rick, Rick.

You don't put ketchup on dim sum.

Why?

Because, Rain Man,

dim sum are not French fries.

It is important to me that

you grasp the delicacy of the situation.

You can't just go off

on a spying expedition.

Let him go. What's the big deal?

-Catch the ball, for chrissake!

-Come on!

-What do you think?

-You mean as clothing?

So this honey, Charles' girlfriend...

...is she hot?

He can't go out with an ugly girl.

Give it up for Charles. What did I say?

I don't know what she looks like.

I do know that

before she went out with Charles...

...she went out with Kevin Cartwright.

-Holy sh*t!

-Really?

Who?

The running back.

We watch him every week.

For seven seasons.

There you go.

There it is.

You know what the deal is with that guy?

-He caught a really big fish?

-No, man.

That he's hung like an army mule.

They call it the ''Ponderosa.''

Like from Bonanza? The Cartwrights?

The ''Ponderosa''?

-Word up!

-Word up!

You're white, man. Let it go.

I don't think you gents are grasping

the gravity of the situation.

This job could really land Oscar and I

in the major leagues.

Since Charles is such a big,

important guy...

...chances are that

his girlfriend is a foxy one.

That's the problem. We know how

Oscar handles himself around the honeys.

Give me some credit.

I have a degree of self-control.

I don't fall over every pretty girl I see.

-The man's got complete control.

-Yeah, you're paranoid.

Yeah, okay?

So don't worry.

-Good night, guys.

-Later.

Where you going?

I want you back here by 10:00!

Dorm check at 1 1:00!

You know what's funny?

You're so screwed.

Start looking for another job.

Who wants to get b*tch-slapped first?

I'll go second.

I had no idea things

were so hairy in Bosnia.

The yellows and purples, I love all this.

Let me show you.

Excuse me.

Sh*t! Piss!

Damn it! For chrissakes!

Someone's supposed

to secure these things.

Thank you. You saved me.

Well, you have to protect something

as beautiful as you.

As it.

You're not beautiful, the sculpture is.

I am so sorry. This never

should have happened. By the way...

...have I told you how enchanting you look?

Spectacular.

I saw you catch that piece. Nice moves.

Thanks. Coming from you,

that's a huge compliment.

You still hold the college record

for most penis in a single season.

So you have all my stats?

Yeah. I'm a huge fan.

I used to have that poster of you.

Did I say ''penis'' back there?

You did.

-Thought I'd let it go.

-Thank you.

Do you come to these gallery things

all the time or....

Well, actually, I'm very close to the artist,

Amy Post.

-Really? How close?

-Close.

Right, right. So what are you doing

after the show?

I mean, did you come here

with anybody besides Amy?

Well, actually, I....

Will you excuse me just for a moment?

Go ahead. You got it going on.

You got it going on.

Excuse me.

I've been looking for you. I'm Amy Post...

...and I owe you one.

I'm....

I'm....

Oh, boy. Oscar Novak.

It's nice to meet you.

Thank you for saving that piece.

It was an honor.

Listen, your work is amazing.

-I mean, it's really incredible.

-Really?

Don't get me wrong, though.

I could do it better.

I don't blow glass, but if I did,

I think I could do it...

...a little bit better than you.

There's a party for the artists

at a bar across town.

I want to pay you back for saving my ass.

-I don't think so.

-I'll see you guys over there.

Wait. You said

your name was Oscar Novak.

Of Steinberg and Novak?

Oh, my God. That is so wild.

I know Charles Newman.

You do?

Congratulations. The Telford's

one of my favorite buildings.

Thanks. Me too.

I know every curve of it.

It's kind of like a person to me.

That's scaring you.

No, that's how I feel about my stuff.

I get very caught up in my pieces.

They're like my kids.

I even talk to them.

Really?

So see, I'm even scarier than you.

We're a couple of kooks, you and me.

He's dealing with that rather well.

Maybe we should walk.

It'll be fine. I'll check the engine.

I'll check the--

Probably just a hose.

Or not.

Go, go.

All right. Come on, let's go. Go, just go.

I have a question.

-What the hell are you doing?

-Three sounds at once.

All right, that's horrifying.

Please do it again.

That's not three sounds at once.

No, it is. It goes....

And the humming.

Sh*t!

Here, let me. I got it.

God, you've hurt yourself.

No, you hurt me.

Yeah, see, you hit me in the face.

I'm sorry.

Wait!

So what's good here?

Tuna melt.

What else is good?

Tuna melt.

What do you think?

Two tuna melts.

You seeing anyone right now?

Me? No. I have trouble finding people

that are compatible.

They always want to sleep

on my side of the bed.

-What side?

-Left side.

Get out! I like the left side.

See?

Are you lonely?

No.

You're okay company

as long as you're not beating me up.

You cover. Don't like to reveal too much.

I resent that.

And I'd respond to it

if it weren't so revealing.

Then you change the subject

with a joke. Got it.

I will let you know when I'm joking.

This is not food.

I think it looks good.

Try it.

-Are you okay?

-Mouth...

...watering.

You know what?

I knew that tuna melt tasted funny.

I'm lucky. I can eat anything.

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