Thursday Page #4

Is that how you answer

the phone these days?

I'm sorry, honey.

I thought you were somebody else.

- Did you know Mr. Wells

when he was living in L.A.?

Course,

I heard of his work.

His work?

Isn't that why you're here?

What do you need?

I mean, how's your day going?

Tough. We're at

an impasse on the fee, so...

That's great, honey.

What?

Casey, are you okay?

How's everything there?

Oh, it's interesting.

You really wouldn't believe it.

Have you seen Dr.Jarvis?

- Yes, and he's here right now.

- Really?

- How's it going?

- Huh--

And then, once I met Nick,

I got the full-blown

- You want one?

- One what?

A Casey Wells story.

- Yes, I would.

- How about the last one?

- Fine.

- "All right."

Nick and Casey...

"Had this guy", "Jimmy."

"A small-time nothing",

a bird dog for some

of the mid-level players.

It's cool, man.

You just took too big a lick.

- "[ Laughing ]"

- That is some rank

And he set up

a meeting between them...

and this big n*gger

named... uh, Lester James.

Of

"course", "most people"

- Ballpeen's casa at 7:00.

- Where in the f*** a n*gger

- You seen

little n*gger's arm, right?

- That's why they

call him Ballpeen.

with a ten-pound

ball peen hammer.

Three years ago

"LesterJames", "a.k.a. Ballpeen",

"was a big", "stud motherf***er."

Had a stable of b*tches

he f***ed on a regular basis,

but every couple weeks...

he went out to get some strange.

"One night", "Lester finds"

"himself in this titty bar",

and this knockout white girl

named Raven is just gyrating

"Well", "Lester wanted her"

in the worst way.

Even more when she told him

to go f*** himself.

He sprinkles

a little fairy dust on her...

somehow gets

her to go back to his place.

That was all she wrote.

He "abused" this b*tch.

He f***ed her every way

you can think of and then some.

Finally, he gets ready

to go again, and he figures...

he'd "really" degrade this b*tch

and make her blow him.

So, he pushes

her head down and, bam!

She bites that

motherf***er's dick... clean off.

"Fortunately", "they found it"

and sewed it back on.

But it never worked right again.

[ Sniffles ]

The problem is,

a story like that gets around,

"So to combat this",

anytime he even heard

he'd use this

f***in' hammer on them.

''Ballpeen'' kind of stuck.

- And Jimmy?

- Over the years, this kind

"So one day", "Ballpeen"

"is late for a meeting",

and Jimmy made the mistake

of asking if he'd been jerking off.

Next thing you know,

Jimmy's got a broken arm.

Goddamn.

[ Dallas ]

Fast-forward to Ballpeen's.

- "in La-La Land."

- Motherfuckers team

- Want to get this over with.

- "[ Car Alarms Chirping ]"

Sh*t makes me nervous.

What the f***

is up with this sh*t?

You must have

some pretty bad f***in' karma...

feel the need

for that kind of artillery.

Don't worry, babe.

It's cool.

Casey. Whoa, whoa.

Hey, man!

F*** you! You in my

motherfuckin' house!

Now, come on,

big black man.

You know I wouldn't

bring no niggas up in here

[ Deep Male Voice ]

Let that bad motherf***er in.

- How's that arm, nigga?

- It's all right.

- It's still here.

- "You a bad motherf***er?"

I just don't let people

run their hands all over me.

- May I sit down?

- Are you here to sit?

[ Casey ]

You tell me.

Sit down.

- Sh*t looks good.

- Your turn.

Why don't you show us

the money now?

Why don't you, uh. let me

choose the next kilo to test?

Help yourself.

[ Snaps Fingers ]

Derrick.

Count 'em,Jimmy.

Some more, square?

Since we're all good friends here,

I got a question for you.

Ask away.

It's all here, Case.

I heard about

this big, bad motherf***er.

He's got this habit

of hitting n*ggers with his hammer.

I've heard the reason

why he uses it...

and I can sympathize.

But, uh...

there's this one thing...

that I just-- I can't

get it out of my head.

- Go on.

- "Well..."

I heard about how

most n*ggers got these

I mean...

just salami-sized c*cks.

Well...

Now, I've had many

a different blow job...

by any number

of different b*tches.

"So", "I know how much room"

even my white-boy dick...

takes up

in a b*tch's mouth, right.

My question...

is how the hell

this little b*tch...

got this big,

n*gger dick in her mouth...

chomped it off

all in one bite?

She could have gnawed

"on it for a while",

but I don't think

there's a motherf***er

- Yo, we got a problem here.

- "So", "the only thing"

is that this big, bad

ass-kickin' n*gger...

"had this little", "itty-bitty dick..."

wouldn't have

"done him no good", "anyway."

What do you think?

Am I close?

"[ Derrick ] I said", "we got"

a motherfuckin'problem here!

What you doing, man?

I'm f***in' dead.

- "F***in'dead."

- Why didn't you use

"Get the f***in'money", "Jimmy."

I'm f***in'dead.

"I'm f***in'dead", "man."

Why didn't you use

a silencer, Casey?

You want to go door-to-door--

tell everybody my f***in' name?

- Oh! I'm f***in', f***in' dead.

- F***in' forgot 'em.

"[ Nick ] Good luck", "man."

I don't know what the f***

We got 45 seconds.

Let's go.

[ "Gunshot" ]

You still here?

- What are you doing?

- I'm leaving.

I've heard quite

enough for one day.

What-- What?

What did you tell him?

- "I don't even know this b*tch."

- Well, she certainly

Thank you very much.

It's been a pleasure to meet you.

Could have made

a very bad mistake.

Dr.Jarvis.

Now, I-- I--

- Doctor!

- We'll be in touch, Mr. Wells.

No, now, there's been some kind

of a mistake, Dr.Jarvis.

Dr.Jarvis!

- I'm f***ed.

- Yes... you are.

"Well", "Case", "it's just you and I."

What do you think?

My wife's going to have my ass

when she finds out I let...

some dyke in a pink rubber dress

blow off her chances...

for Happy Meals

and diaper wipes.

It's red, a**hole.

- Where is it?

- I'll tell you, if you

Sure. Shoot.

Are you on the rag?

Because you look like

one of those women who are...

explosive under stressful

situations, and--

Being married, you should

f***ing know how much women

But being a typical male,

you ignore

your better judgment...

and ask anyway, huh?

I should just do your wife

a favor and blow your head off.

It's as if every mood swing

can be written off as...

''She's just on the rag.''

Like that explains something.

Women have mood shifts,

that "is" a fact of life.

"And for your information",

"I am a complete b*tch",

whether I'm on the rag or not.

Hmm?

Now, let me answer

your question.

- Does that answer it?

- I'd say you're right.

Good.

Now...

answer my questions...

- before you start

losing appendages.

It's gone.

- Gone?

- Yeah.

- What do you mean, it's gone?

- I 86'ed it.

I sent it

swimming down the sink.

- Bye-bye.

- You're one smooth

You can keep the smack,

and I'll take the money,

- And we can call it even.

- Money? What f***ing money?

It seems we're going around

in circles here. Hmm.

"I want the two mil", "Casey."

- Let me--

- Let me explain something to you.

I am not a drug dealer.

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