Tideland Page #2

those air biscuits? Cutting air muffins?

Oh man, that's nasty.

It isn't me!

You should move to China. Over there,

the louder the burp, the better the meal.

A powerful air biscuits delivered with

grace would get you free dessert.

That's gross!

There you go again. It's a regular

art form with you. Put a plug in it, please.

Don't. It's you!

You're doing it. Stop it!

Stop.

Serve you right.

For the love of Mike.

- Awfully kind of you.

- No problem.

Come on, sweetie. Watch it now.

Watch your step.

Wow. Is that it?

Yeah.

Go on. Go on through.

Place needs a little work.

Wants a new well.

No problem.

Look.

Yard needs some tending.

Damn weeds...

they get the better of everything.

Nails coming up on the porch.

We can hammer them back down.

Yeah, your grandma,

had this boy mow and weed.

I suppose that fella's all grown-up by now.

Hey, ma! I'm home!

Home at last! Go on in.

Go on. Go on.

Vandals.

Where's my room?

Up with the Gods.

Mustique...

Sateen Lips...

Baby Blonde...

and Glitter Gal.

Hi, guys.

I'm dying. I can't go on.

I must go on.

You will survive.

A complete recovery is expected.

Thank you, thank you, doctor.

You've given me hope. I shall live.

Oh, doctor.

Doctor.

Now, you don't go short-changing

daddy, will you, sweetheart?

I won't.

Don't you worry.

Oh, time for daddy's vacation.

Not too long this time, daddy.

Oh no. Just a little vacation.

Daddy's going deep sea diving.

Going to the place

where dreams are made.

Thanks, honey.

And daddy...

daddy's gonna stroll down that...

far subterranean shore...

all littered with flotsam of

hopes and dreams.

Oh, I see them.

Relics of ancient times...

Ionely cenotaphs...

standing along that melancholy tideland.

What are you saying?

I don't understand what you're saying.

Come back.

You'll get in trouble.

You shouldn't be in there.

People don't like squirrels in the attic.

I'm not telling you a secret

because you wouldn't like it.

He's in the room.

Are you ready, Mustique?

I was born ready.

Good, because this could get

pretty dangerous.

Bring Sateen Lips with us.

She can help.

- I don't wanna go.

- Shut up, you baby.

Why can't Baby Blonde,

or Glitter Gal do it instead?

Keep complaining and me and

Jeliza-Rose will cut off all your hair!

Please don't. I'll behave.

You better.

I'm sure he's here somewhere.

Maybe he's magic.

Maybe he's really a fairy.

Don't be silly.

Only lightning bugs are like fairies.

Squirrel butts don't glow.

He's in the wall.

He's right here.

He's gone through to the next room!

Don't go in there. I'm scared.

What did I tell you? Safe as houses.

I'm still scared.

That squirrel can't hide from me!

We're going in... right, Jeliza-Rose?

Right.

But I'm still scared, Jeliza-Rose.

If we're not back in an hour,

then come after us...

because it means...

we're being pulverized.

It's like a cave.

It's grandma's stuff!

Yeah... that's what it is.

Let's taka a look at those boxes.

No.

Scared!

What's so spooky about boxes?

It's the treasure chest that's spooky.

Bet there's slippers...

and gold in it.

Or a dead thing.

It's just old clothes.

See.

I bet she was beautiful.

- She was old!

- She was my grandma!

She was old and ugly

with boxes of squirrel-chewed junk!

You're lying. Shut up or we're leaving.

That's what happened.

We've turned into squirrels.

There's Jeliza-Rose.

She's looking for us.

Boom boom boom boom

I'm gonna shoot you right down

Daddy?

Right offa your feet

Take you home with me

I had a bad dream.

Boom boom boom boom

I love to see you strut

Still on vacation, daddy?

When you talking to me

That baby talk

I like it like that

Whoa, yeah!

Talk that talk

Walk that walk

Morning.

I'm hungry.

This is Radio Jeliza-Rose.

Are you receiving me?

Over.

This is Radio Jeliza-Rose.

Am I coming in loud and clear?

Over.

Won't talk to you too.

It's not nice, you know.

You wouldn't like it too.

Get off!

Die, die, die!

It's clear. All clear.

Now... we mustn't sing or talk...

or we'll spook the fairies...

and they won't come.

I have to see them.

Probably they won't be out

till tonight anyway.

Lift me up sweet Jesus

Nail me by his crooked cross

Oh what a glorious day

A ghost.

She was killed in this very bus.

All burned bad.

That's why her face is covered up.

Maybe she's a queen...

and she got strangled.

She's Queen Gunhilda.

She didn't want to stay dead any more.

We have to go home.

We have to go tell daddy. Right now!

We saw a ghost!

We saw a ghost.

She was looking for something.

Get on with it, you little b*tch.

I'm dying.

My tongue is filling my head.

I'm really dying this time.

This is not a vacation.

Dear, you're already dead.

You're a ghost. A spook.

So beautiful too.

I'm a vision.

Dear...

promise me something, Jeliza-Rose.

If I ever end up looking like Glitter Gal...

promise you'll just kill me.

I couldn't.

I could never.

Oh, yes you could.

You're a vision.

You're a sensation.

We're very proud of you.

You're our beauty queen...

and it's only right you look your best

for the seance.

Now... hold hands.

Mustique, you too.

Ridiculous.

Everyone close your eyes.

The ghost is sending us a message.

A psychic message.

She wants something.

Like what?

A gift.

I could draw a picture, of you and me.

Or give her Glitter Gal.

Shut up, Mustique.

Then what?

Something only a dead person uses.

The radio. It's dead.

The dead can listen to ghost voices.

And ghost music too.

Except...

daddy likes listening to music.

First, we make an altar.

Jeliza-Rose, this is not going to work.

Shut up, Mustique.

Bog men are stirring.

Let's go. Ghosts and monsters

are fast runners, remember?

No, they aren't. Dead things are slow.

You have to be alive to run.

They get you...

when you're not expecting them.

What are you doing?

What have you been messing with here?

- Are you mute, vandal?

- I'm scared.

Ooh, vandal's scared.

I'm not a vandal.

I'm Jeliza-Rose.

Jeliza-Rose.

Well...

a vandal by any other name.

You understand?

Children. This is for me?

It's a gift.

Something useful.

Any bees?

Go mess elsewhere.

One sting and I'm paralyzed...

most likely dead.

But you are dead.

What a thing to say!

What kind of a child are you?

- What I meant to say was...

- Well, you should say what you mean!

- I do.

- No, you don't!

Meaning what you say

is something quite different.

You might just as well have said...

"I see what I eat" is the same as

"I eat what I see". Which it isn't.

If you see a bee or you hear a bee,

you'll say so, right?

If I'm stung and die, it'll be your fault.

Stung in my own garden.

Blinded by a bee.

Revenge for destroying

my daddy's hives, I say.

Poured gas on them.

Set them ablaze.

See my daddy, he loved his bees,

and they loved him, I'm sure.

They is jealous creatures, though.

Hated my mama.

Pure evil.

My mama's heart...

just stopped.

And we never ate apple pie again.

She was changed forever.

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