Tig Page #7

And you're like,

"Oh, yeah, this is what I do.

This is completely my thing."

Two minutes!

I felt like I had accomplished something.

But I still have no idea

if I'm ready to do this anniversary show.

Please welcome

Tig Notaro, everybody!

Stephanie and I didn't

talk for weeks.

When she said this is done,

I went into this zone

where I was so sad.

Then it sunk in, really.

I was, like, I don't know

how to go forward in my life without...

this person.

She called me

and said she'd like to come over

and talk to me about things.

I knew if I don't say yes

to this in my life,

then I am not following

my feelings and my heart.

She just sat down next to me

on the couch and just said...

"I've missed you and just been miserable."

I said, "I... I have feelings for you.

I would really love to try this."

And then, from that night until now,

truly, have been inseparable.

We were just together after that.

With Tig, my love is, like,

it spills out of me and

I just feel like I'm always smiling.

I wish it was.

On the red carpet.

I loved meeting her family.

And they're all very extroverted,

welcoming people.

It's like, "Oh, Tig likes you?

Well, then you're in the family."

- I love you.

- I love you, too.

I've been in love before,

and I have dated so many people.

But I have not been in love

like this before.

I got great news the other day

that I had nine embryos

that thawed and all lived.

But then I got

not great news yesterday

that only one is viable.

So that was a rough day, yesterday.

But...

I feel very excited

and very positive about it.

We have one shot one time.

Yeah, I wanna stay positive

and I want this to happen.

Harpo.

I knew she was having a baby

when we started dating,

but I didn't want to presume

that it was ours.

And I don't think

she wanted to put that on me,

like, "Okay, well,

if you're gonna date me,

well, you're also gonna be a mother."

Oh!

I would keep it away from her,

and then I remember one day,

there was some meeting or call,

or something that came up,

and then she said, "Wait,

why didn't you tell me about that?"

And I said, "Well, you know, I just don't

wanna scare you or make you nervous."

And she was like,

"Are you out of your mind?"

She said, "I'm excited about this.

I wanna be a part of this."

Stephanie and I

would like to have five kids.

It was her idea.

But I'm on board.

There'd be fifty toes.

- That's a lot of toes to clip.

- That's a lot of toes.

Yeah.

Do you have a minute

so I can talk with you?

- Totally have a minute.

- Come on in.

This way.

- This is the embryo that is normal.

- Okay.

It has made it to the blastocyst stage

and it's hatching.

And is that what

we have this explosion for?

- Yes.

- Yes!

So you now have hatching.

So that is awesome.

By the way, are you okay

- with knowing the sex of the...

- Yeah.

It's gonna be a boy.

So now it's time for us

to basically put him in.

Is there any way

to put in a request

that you try even harder

than you've ever tried?

Try hard.

Okay, now I got

the catheter in my hand.

Now, the embryo is right here.

I'm gonna put it in

and then slide it out. Okay?

Come on, Jack.

What, you named it already?

- Yeah?

- In trying to stay positive.

- I love it. Jack.

- Jack Notaro.

Okay, Jack is going in.

Come on, Jack.

Okay, I need the top.

Keep it picture. I'm going in.

- Oh, wow.

- I am right there.

This is the moment.

How are you doing, Amanda?

Good.

And I'm done.

And there is...

- Jack.

- Jack.

And this is the picture of the ultrasound.

- I felt emotional when that went in.

- Yeah?

I got... I was just... Yeah.

To go from last year,

being told I couldn't have children

and not have a shot,

to going to...

even just having one shot.

I'm excited.

I have way more...

to be excited and positive about

than I did a year ago.

I couldn't be happier.

Well, obviously, here he is.

That's Jack.

So that's pretty exciting.

And then, this is Jack... hatching.

Those are the only two photos

we've taken of him.

Trust me, if there were

options to have more,

they'd be all over the place.

Today is the day...

we find out if Jack Notaro...

is in Amanda, if it took or not.

Stephanie and I joke...

We joke about, um...

We say it all the time that,

you know, we just want

to put little pants on Jack.

And it makes us laugh so hard.

But it's also just a true thing, like...

"Just show up.

- We just want to put little pants on you."

- "...pants on you."

Amanda's pregnancy test,

the results are back within three hours.

That is now.

So we're waiting to get

that fax coming through.

This is my one last

blood connection to my mother.

I know if the news that he's in there,

if that is the news,

I don't think it would be possible

to have another bad day

while I'm alive, you know?

I just don't see how

that would be possible.

It'd just be like,

"Here is the cemented good news of...

forever.

Enjoy that."

You know, so...

There's the doctor.

Oh, my gosh.

There's the doctor.

Oh, boy.

Hello?

Hi, so I got the results

of the blood test,

and unfortunately

I don't have good news for you.

Uh-huh.

The results came back

as less than two for pregnancy test

and that means it's negative.

So, I'm sorry, Tig.

It didn't work this time.

It's okay.

Well, there's the news.

So...

I feel like I did all I could.

Oh, I have to...

God, I can't focus.

- How much time do you want me to do?

- What would you like to do?

- Zero.

- Okay. Perfect.

- How much are you gonna do, Tig?

- Probably 45.

- Oh, you are?

- Yeah.

Oh, okay.

Uh, what?

- I know.

- You're gonna host?

Flowers from my brother.

It says, "To my beautiful

and amazing sister,

I love you and am so proud of you.

The only person that would be more proud

would be our mother.

Good luck tonight.

Love, your brother, Renaud."

Well, this is what

I'll be saying tonight.

What if this show is a bomb?

Oh, my God,

it's not gonna happen.

Tonight's the most nervous I've seen her,

you know, before this show.

Because this is the show back.

I grew up in the streets

of the Grove and...

Tig is usually

a very cool customer.

You never really see her frazzled.

But that night,

she may have been nervous.

...say things like,

"Not on my watch" and stuff.

All right.

Let's get to the reason

why we're all here.

Oh, boy.

God, I remember the day

she was born. The, um...

The doctor put her on my belly

and she was covered in all this goop,

and I just said,

"Tig.

I'll call her Tig."

Please welcome

my friend, Tig Notaro.

How's it going?

Thank you.

I don't have cancer.

Hello, how are you?

Thank you so much.

You guys have been so, so great.

Oh, my gosh.

I was diagnosed

with bilateral breast cancer.

Word has not gotten out, so...

And before my diagnosis

and the surgery,

I was pretty...

just relatively flat-chested.

And I've made

so many jokes over the years

about how flat-chested I was.

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