Time Bandits Page #6

- Come on ! Come on !- And deserts into quagmires.

The boy's insane.We can't go in there.

Shh !

Oh !

- Let me see !- And icebergs into fire !

And the fire into a mightyrushing wind which will coverthe face of the earth...

and wipe clean the scourge of woollythinking once and for all.

We can make beansinto peas !

Oh, Benson.

Dear Benson, you are so mercifully freeof the ravages of intelligence.

- You say... such nice things, master.- Yes, I know. I'm sorry.

Now, Benson, I shall have to turn youinto a dog for a while.

Thank you, master.

Stay, Benson.Guard the map.

Robert, we must plana new world together.

This timewe'll start it properly.

Tell me about computers.

Uh, a computeris an automatic electronic apparatus...

for making calculations.

Or controlling operations...

- that are expressible...

in numericalor logical terms.

And fast breeder reactors ?

Ah, fast breeder reactors...

use a fast fission process...

for the generationof fissile isotopes.

- Be quiet, Benson !

Show me more, Robert.

Show me--

Show me...subscriber trunk dialing.

I must know everything.

Come on ! Throw !

Throw it !

Stop !

Come on ! Oh, no!

- Let's get out of here !

- Come on !

Stop them by every meansin my power !

It's coming this way !Run for it !

I'm coming !I'm coming !

We're trapped.

- We've got to separate.- What ?

Go down the time hole.Go wherever you can and get help.

- I'll divert them.- But you can't do it on your own.

No. I'll take one other.

- Well done, Og.

Yes. Og and me'll stay.Ready ?

- Hey ! Hey ! This way !

You are a very troublesomelittle fellow.

I think I should teach youone of my special lessons.

What do you think, Robert ?

Benson, what would look nice ?

Half donkey ?

Half warthog ?Half oyster ?

Half carrot ?

- Or the diseased left tonsil-

Call off those, those creatures,or I'll destroy the map forever.

- Don't, don't be so stupid.- Call them off !

Very well.I have no need of them.

- Robert.- Yes, master ?

Your time has come.

Oh, wonderful, master ! Wonderful !

- Wonderful !- Don't mention it.

Benson.

I'm a reasonable man.

Give me the map,

and you might at least walk outof here on human feet.

- Og !

No !

- No !

No !

This way, men.Over there.

- Wally !

- Where's the trouble, sonny ?- Down there !

Aha !

So... this is the best...

the Supreme Being can do.

I guess we'll havea lynchin', eh ? Yippee !

- Wait !

Got him !

- See, sonny ? No problem.

Wait a minute !Wait !

Wait a minute !Oh ! Oh ! Hey !

Hold on ! Hey ! Hey !

- Let me go !- I don't feel so good !

Fire !

Charge !

Strutter ! Quick !

Strutter !

Next !

Get him !

Randall, go !

Go !

- I can't control it !- Of course you can't, you silly man.

I control them !

Hurry ! Help me !

Get me down !

Stay where you are !Something's happening !

Get out of the way, Fidgit !

Get out of the way !

- Fidgit !- Hey ! Hey, Fidgit !

Fidgit !

Quick ! Push it off him !Push it off. Quick.

- He's dead.- What ?

Fidgit's dead.

Oh, no. I'm sorry.

- It wasn't your fault, Wally.- It was, it was his fault.

- Get down, Wally !- Get down !

- Wally ! Get down, Wally !- Evil !

- Come on back !

Evil !He killed my friend !

I'll kill him !Get off me !

Get down !

- I'll kill him !

Huh ?

- Oh, no !- He's found us !

Quick ! Ron for it !

Oh ! I hatehaving to appear like that.

Really,it's the most tiresome way.

Noisy manifestation.

Still, rather expectedof one, I suppose.

Get down ! Get down !

O Great One !O Supreme Being !

O Creator of all the universe,

without whom we would be naughtbut scarab beetles on the--

What a dreadful mess !Is the pig with you ?

Right.Well, we'll sort him out first.

- Og !

- Og, here ! Quick ! Out of the way !- I was enjoying that.

One thing I can't stand,it's mess.

I want all this stuffpicked up.

Yes, sir.Anything you say.

- Anything you say, sir.- Wally, tidy up !

But, but he's dead, Randall.

Fidgit, Fidgit's dead.

Dead ?No excuse for laying off work.

- Fidgit.- Fidgit.

- Fidgit ?

- What happened ?- I'm sorry I killed you, Fidgit.

He's okay !He's okay !

Oh, do hurry up.

- Oh, yes, sir.- Yes, sir.

I'd like to explain everything.

We didn't mean to steal the map.We didn't mean to run away--

What do you mean, you didn'tmean to steal the map ?

- It, it just sort of--- Of course you didn't mean to steal it.

I gave it to you.You silly man. And that.

- Do you really think I didn't know ?- Sir ?

I had to have some wayof testing my handiwork.

I think it turned outrather well.

- Don't you ?- Hmm ?

Evil turned out rather well.Mm-hmm.

Whose are these ?

Mine, sir.

They're mine, sir.

You really are an untidy boy.

Sign... here.

Do you mean you knewwhat was happening to us all the time ?

Well, of course.I am the Supreme Being.

- I'm not entirely dim.- Oh, no, sir.

We're not suggesting that, sir.It's just--

That I let you borrowmy map.

Now I want every bit of Evil...

placed in here.

- Right away.- Of course, sir.

Come on.

You mean you let all those people die,just to test your creation ?

Yes.You really are a clever boy.

Why did they have to die ?

You might as well say,"Why do we have to have evil ?"

Oh, we wouldn't dream of askinga question like that, sir.

Yes. Why do we haveto have evil ?

Ah.

- I think it's somethingto do with freewill.

Do be careful.

You weren't watching.

Don't lose any of that stuff.That's concentrated evil.

One drop of that could turnyou all into hermit crabs.

I'm sorry, sir.

I, I was just wonderingif there's, um,

any chance we mighthave our old jobs back, sir.

- Oh, you certainly wereappallingly bad robbers.- Yes, sir.

I really should do somethingvery extrovert and vengeful with you.

Honestly, I'm too tired.

But I think I'll just transfer youto the undergrowth department--

yes, bracken, small shrubs--that sort of thing--

with a 19%%% cut in salarybackdated to the beginning of time.

- Thank you, sir.- Oh, thank you, sir.

Well, I am the nice one.

Is it all ready ? Right !

Come on, then.Back to creation.

- I mustn't waste any more time.- Bye, Kevin.

They'll think I've lost controlagain and put it all down to evolution.

- Come on.- Sir ?

- Yes ?- What about my friend, sir ?Can he come with us ?

No, of course not.This isn't a school outing.

But, sir,he deserves something.

- I mean, without him--- Oh, don't go on about it.

- He's got to stay hereto carry on the fight.- Fidgit !

Come on. Fidgit !

Hey ! You can't go !

- Hey, you can't leave me !- Fidgit !

- Fidgit, come on !- Wait, please !

- Come on, Fidgit !- Hey ! Stop !

Hey !Hey ! Don't leave me !

Hey ! Help ! Stop !

Don't go ! Help ! Don't leave me !

Hey ! Don't go ! Stop !

- Don't leave me ! Please ! Wait !

Don't leave me ! Please !

Come on ! Come on !

Let's go !

- Let go ! I've got to save it !- Don't be a fool, Diane !

- I'm going in for the toaster !- No ! No !

- Oh, Trevor !- Me super deluxe steamer !

Oh !

- You all right ?- Yeah.

I think so.

You're a very lucky boy.

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