Tin Men Page #2

8.

15 15

CONTINUED:

GIL, who is pouring half a pound of sugar into his coffee,

looks up.

GIL:

Ben Cartwright had a colored guy

stay overnight at the Ponderosa?

MOUSE, who is picking his teeth with a matchbook, squints

at Sam with an investigative look.

MOUSE:

Did he know this guy personally?

SAM:

No... he was just passing through,

asked if he could stay over, and

Ben Cartwright said 'sure thing.'

It doesn't make any sense... he

invites a strange colored guy in...

invited him in to stay. Is that

crazy or what? If a colored guy

came to my door and said 'can I

stay the night,' I'd tell him

'get the f*** out of here'! It's

nothing personal, mind you.

MOUSE:

You're not a bigot, is that what

you're telling us?

SAM:

Me? No, I'm not a bigot.

GIL:

If you're not, how come you're

making such a big thing out of it?

SAM:

It's the fact the Ben Cartwright's

on the Ponderosa... he's in the

middle of nowhere. It's not like

he's living on Reisterstown Road

with houses all around... we're

talking about the West here. It's

the idea that a strange guy comes

to the door in the middle of the

West. It doesn't make sense,

that's all I'm saying.

MOUSE:

Come on... you're a bigot, that's

what you are.

(CONTINUED)

9.

15 CONTINUED:
(2) 15

SAM:

Listen, I'll sell tin to anybody... I don't care who he is. A

mark's a mark, whether he's

Chinese, Indian or from Mars...

I'm thoroughly integrated. Makes

no difference to me... I justwouldn't have one of those guyssleep in my house.

CUT TO:

16 EXT. DINER PARKING LOT - DAY 16

Tilley gets out of his car and enters the diner.

17 INT. DINER - DAY 17

He starts walking to the booth where the other tin men

are. On his way he yells over to the waitress.

TILLEY:

Florence, eggs and the toast,

the way I like it.

FLORENCE, who doesn't have too much energy, calls backto Tilley.

FLORENCE:

Not too gooey. Coffee right

away.

She trails the last word. Sam is still talking abouthis problem with "Bonanza."

SAM:

I just don't believe that 'Bonanza'is an accurate description of theWest. I say no more.

Tilley slips into the booth next to Sam.

for Sam to give him more room.

He indicates

TILLEY:

Come on, give me a couple of moreinches.

SAM:

You want me to take my plate...

I'll eat in the parking lot.

(CONTINUED)

10.

17 CONTINUED:
17

TILLEY:

Come on, Sam, I'm having a terrible

morning. You're not going to

believe this, some guy just crashed

into me... right in the middle of

the street... then he attacks me.

One of the loonies.

SAM:

(biting into his

toast)

Did ya live?

MOUSE:

Did you get his name?

TILLEY:

Yeah, I got his name. The police

came... God, I can't believe it...

the guy's an idiot.

He pulls a piece of paper from his pocket.

TILLEY:

Yeah, here it is... some Polish

name... Babowski... Bill Babowski

... f***ing son of a b*tch.

GIL:

I know the guy... they call him

BB.

TILLEY:

You know the son of a b*tch?

GIL:

Yeah, he works with Bagel.

TILLEY:

He sells aluminum siding? I

don't believe it... of all the

people that could run into me, it

has to be a f***ing tin man. How

come I don't know him?

GIL:

You musta seen him. He hangs

out with Carly Benelli, Cheese

... you know, that group.

TILLEY:

I don't know the guy.

(CONTINUED)

11.

17 CONTINUED:
(2) 17

GIL:

Don't you remember, he was up at

the Corral one night when we were

there... he's a good dancer. You

must have seen him.

TILLEY:

I don't know the guy.

SAM:

Gil, he doesn't know the guy.

GIL:

I thought he knew him, Sam... I

can't believe he doesn't know

him.

SAM:

He seems to be indicating that

he doesn't know him.

TILLEY:

I don't know the guy!

GIL:

He's a good dancer.

TILLEY:

What do you want me to do, date

him? What do I give a sh*t if

he's a good dancer?

GIL:

I thought you saw him. I was

amazed, he does a Marengay... I

tell you if I was a girl I'd be

impressed.

SAM:

You're not a girl and you're

impressed!

Florence comes over and puts down some coffee in front

of Tilley.

TILLEY:

Is it fresh?

FLORENCE:

Yes, it's fresh!

TILLEY:

Just asking, Florence.

(CONTINUED)

12.

17 CONTINUED:
(3) 17

Florence starts to walk away.

FLORENCE:

You're always just asking.

Gil still talking about BB.

GIL:

I'm telling you, you just can'tbelieve how well this guy doesthe Marengay.

MOUSE:

I can't wait to see it.

TILLEY:

I'll tell you one thing, when Iget a hold of this guy, I'llbreak both his legs and then hewon't dance the Marengay toogood.

CUT TO:

18 EXT. INDUSTRIAL PARK IN A RUN-DOWN AREA OF TOWN - DAY18

We see BB pulling up to a building in his banged-up,

brand new Cadillac. There are three or four nice

Cadillacs parked outside of the run-down building.

CUT TO:

19 INT. OFFICE - DAY 19

The office is filled with second-hand furniture, mismatched

desks and a conglomeration of styles. In one

corner of the room there are two or three GIRLS workingthe telephones -- canvassing -- talking to people on thephone to see if they're interested in a demonstration onthe benefits of aluminum siding. They all speak in avery congenial tone of voice.

GIRL #1

Good morning, I represent theSuperior Aluminum Siding Company.

We will have a representativein your neighborhood today.

Would you be interested in seeingthe benefits of our aluminum

product?

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

13.

19 CONTINUED:
19

GIRL #1 (CONT'D)

(beat)

Yes... well, we do aluminum siding

which improves the appearance of

your house, and improves the

insulation...

CAMERA MOVES TO ANOTHER GIRL.

GIRL #2

... Which improves the appearance

of your house, and improves the

insulation...

CAMERA MOVES TO GIRL #3.

GIRL #3

... Superior Aluminum Siding

Company. We will have a

representative...

CAMERA MOVES TO another corner of the room where we see

4 "tin men" salesmen sitting around one of the desks

playing cards. MOE is beginning to tell a joke. He is

a man in his 50's.

MOE:

So the guy goes to the doctor for

a physical... they do all those

tests, all that stuff, blah, blah,

blah...

BB enters the scene and goes over and gets himself a cup

of coffee.

MOE:

... Doctor says 'when we get all

the information back, we'll give

you a call.' Leaves the doctor.

One day the telephone rings...

the guy goes and picks it up.

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