Tiny Christmas

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1

[]

[train whistle toots]

Oops.

Dad!

I'm outside, Emma!

I thought we agreed

to unpack

the important stuff first?

You know, the stuff we need

to survive the harsh winter?

Microwave, TV, toilet paper?

[groans]

Stop eye-balling me, elf.

[toy squeaks and giggles]

Yay, Christmas!

[muttering]

Uh, maybe we should just

hang a wreath on the door?

Ah, my sweet child.

Potkins do not simply

hang a wreath.

It's go big or go home.

I like the "go home" part.

[sighs]

Come on, Em.

This is a fresh start

to our fresh start.

New job.

New 'hood.

We gotta do this right.

You should help.

Get your Christmas on.

You can untangle me!

As amazing as that sounds,

I'm missing a box.

A crazy important one.

It's labeled "crazy important"?

Check my office.

I left a bunch of

unopened stuff in there.

And I was serious,

please untangle me?

You'd better watch out

You'd better not cry

You'd better not pout

I'm tellin' you why

Santa Claus

is comin' to town...

Whoa, her house

is phenomenal.

He sees you

when you're sleepin'

He knows when you're awake

He knows if you've been

bad or good

So be good

for goodness sake

You'd better watch out

You'd better not cry...

We're gonna need

more lights.

...Tonight!

Any luck?

Uh, yup, all here.

Christmas is officially saved.

Well, good.

Aw...

the Potkins pajama photo.

[chuckling] You know,

your mother always picked

those pajamas herself.

Yeah, she had

a real gift for hideous.

[laughs]

She sure did.

Look at that one.

Adorbs.

What was that,

five years ago?

Four.

And no one says "adorbs".

It's the last one we took.

We should take

this photo again.

The two of us?

Sorry, Dad, it's just

not the same.

Ah, come on,

I can photoshop in

Uncle Charlie and Grandma.

Or the latest

teen pop sensation

whose name

I'm not hip enough to know?

Hey...

It'll get easier,

I promise.

Eventually, this will

start to feel like home.

Not by tomorrow.

Not by Christmas.

[]

[laser zaps]

We have shrinkage!

This Christmas,

I've incorporated

the shrinkage/de-shrinkage

technology

that allows us to fit

a world worth of toys

onto a single sled!

All we need

are these slick shades.

Just because

you're stuffing stockings

doesn't mean you can't

look snowman cool.

Isn't that right,

Commander Chill?

Just give me

the goggles, Elfonso.

It's Christmas Eve.

My squad's on the clock.

Of course, the clock!

Like all Elf-Tech,

these babies are powered

by Christmas Magic.

Which means they only work

on Christmas Eve.

Once the sun comes up

on Christmas morning,

everything shuts down.

No shrinking,

no unshrinking.

Nada.

[snaps fingers]

Got it. Let's go.

Wait!

You need to know

how to unshrink the toys.

All right, talk fast,

and no model poses.

It's simple.

This button,

right here.

[laser zaps]

Freeze ray!

My bad.

Uh, wrong button.

Just need to reverse

the process.

[laser zaps]

Wowza!

The dreaded

orange mohawk!

Oh, uh...

[clearing throat]

I must have programmed

the buttons wrong.

Why do you always find

the bugs during the demo?

Elfonso!

You're gonna have

to come with us.

Fix it in flight.

Let's go--

In flight?

Have you flipped

your pointy-hat?

I-I'm not field trained,

I'm a tech-elf.

You're the Chief Tech-Elf!

Nobody knows this stuff

better than you.

You can swap out with

one of my elf commandos, okay?

Come on.

But I've never left

the North Pole,

or even seen

a normal-sized kid,

or their hideous rounded ears.

[shuddering]

Get it together, elf!

We need you on that sled.

Christmas is depending on you.

[slaps shoulder]

[snaps fingers]

It's go time!

[exhaling nervously]

Okay...

[novelty car horn honks outside]

They came!

They actually came!

Emma! Emma?

What?

Did the neighbor's lights

start a fire?

I know you miss

the old house.

And this Christmas seems

a little lonely

without the extended family.

Father...

what shady thing

are you up to?

No shade.

Santa's work.

A little

Christmas surprise.

Since we can't be there

for the annual

Potkins' shin-dig,

I decided to bring

some family to us.

[gasps]

Is it Grandma?

Or Aunt Cicely?

Oh, the Prizapelly twins!

Please say the Prizapelly twins!

No, uh...

They're all

too far away,

so... I found our closest

living relatives.

There's a Monster Truck

in our driveway.

And it's bouncing.

We've never actually met them,

but we know them,

by their reputation.

No...

You can't mean...

the Farkleys?

I'm sure they're not as bad

as the urban legend suggests.

So they didn't blow up

Uncle Ted's station wagon

on the Fourth of July?

Or toilet paper

the White House on Halloween?

Or sink that cruise ship

on Talk Like a Pirate Day?

[laughs]

Those crazy Farkleys.

Look, it'll be fun.

Just don't

turn your back on them,

and hide the forks.

[bag thuds heavily]

Seasons greetings, Potkins!

Barkley Farkley.

Here's a fruitcake!

Might want

to re-gift that.

[cake thunks solidly]

[Barkley's mom calls]:

Merry Christmas, baby!

Be good!

Daddy and I love ya!

[tires squealing]

Your parents,

they're not staying?

Nope.

They're off to Peoria.

There's

a Monster Truck Rally on

[imitating hype ad]:

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

But today is Friday!

Friday! Friday!

Which gives us

plenty of family bonding time.

[sniffing]

Uh... I'm not sure

what's happening.

She's your cousin.

Fourth Cousin,

thrice removed.

[sniffing]

[whispering] I can

smell the resemblance.

We should hang

some stockings.

On what?

We don't even have a fireplace.

Oh, don't we?

It's not even moving.

And...

I got some fancy

Christmas duct tape

to put them up.

Oh, no, you don't!

Mom hand-made

this stocking for me.

You don't just duct-tape it

to some television.

We could superglue it.

Well, since stockings are out,

let's at least

get ready for the annual

Christmas PJ

picture extravaganza!

[laughs in triumph]

Ha ha!

Whoa, freaky.

I'm in!

I'm out.

So...

you got any chestnuts?

[sighs]

[sighs]

[spooky music cue plays]

Uh...

what is happening right now?

I'm new to the whole

Christmas Eve sleep-over thing.

Should we be

doing something?

Oh, a burping contest.

No, no, no,

that's not neces--

[expels an extended burp]

[finishes burp]

Not Christmassy enough?

I mean, I can do

"Jingle Bells."

Oh, no, no, no!

Just sleep.

You know sleep, right?

Do that.

[turns on tape

of loud yodeling]

[whispering]

Helps me sleep.

[yodeling blasts]

[descending scream from outside]

[body thuds]

[groaning in pain]

[groaning]

Sorry, sir.

[incoming call chimes,

"Jingle Bells" tune]

Elfonso!

Are you okay?

Can you even talk?

No permanent damage.

Santa broke the fall.

You're supposed to use

the parachute.

Kinda hard to pull the cord

with my eyes closed

and all the screaming.

Just deliver your toys

and meet back

at the rendezvous point!

It's go time!

Commander Chill out!

Who builds a house

without a chimney?

Gonna have to do this

the hard way.

[roaring]

[wincing]

Christmas is hard...

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