To Be or Not to Be Page #7

- You say, "Break a leg. "

Break a leg!

[CRASHING]

What happened?

I tripped. I almost broke a leg.

Don't say, "Break a leg" anymore.

Good luck.

Thank you, thank you. Goodbye.

- Professor Siletski.

- Heil Hitler!

Heil Hitler.

- How's the professor?

- Fine. How's the colonel?

Excellent. Pity you didn't get here

sooner. You just missed Madam Bronski.

- She's gone?

- She went to the theatre.

They're doing a show for

your friend, the Fhrer.

Oh! I'll be going too.

Would you wait in my office?

I have a few matters to take up with

these men. Then we'll get to you.

- Lf it's not too much trouble.

- No, no trouble at all.

No, no trouble.

No trouble.

No trouble.

Trouble.

Don't move. I'll be right back.

Good.

- He should've cracked by now.

- Patience!

Give him time to think.

This is the intellectual approach.

- What if he isn't an intellectual?

- They'll break every bone in his body.

Excuse me. I tried to open a

conversation with your friend.

- He seems to be slightly dead.

- No! Really?

Let's go and see.

You're very observant, professor.

He is dead.

Have you observed he looks

a little bit like you?

- He's a dead ringer for me.

- Or versa vice-a.

- Obviously, one of us is an imposter.

- Obviously.

- It looks bad for me.

- Doesn't look good.

- Did you know him?

- Never met him.

You must have observed him for months.

- It takes that long to grow a beard.

- Good!

Yes, Schultz. Except for one thing:

I might be wearing a false beard.

Very funny. A clever agent like you

wearing a false beard.

Maybe he's wearing a false beard.

Why don't you convince yourself?

- Why don't you pull his beard?

- All right, I will.

- I can't do it.

- Too sensitive?

You can murder a man in cold blood,

but you can't pull his beard?

Ah! Ooh, ooh, ooh...

Good work. I can't wait to see

the Fhrer's face when I tell him.

Schultz, you put me in this position!

- You yourself gave the order.

- Shifting your responsibility again?

All you ever do is shift!

- But, colonel...!

- Get out. All of you.

Professor...

I don't know how to apologize.

What can I do to make up for this?

- There is something.

- Yes, anything.

Mrs. Bronski is performing. It would

be wonderful to release her dresser.

Impossible!

He's scheduled for transport.

Remember, I'm seeing the Fhrer.

Who knows what we'll talk about!

No... Schultz!

Release the sissy.

- Which sissy?

- The one from the Bronski Theatre.

Bring him here.

[SPEAKS GERMAN]

I knew it was you. I had to satisfy

the curiosity of those dummkopfs.

To put your mind at rest,

would you like to pull my beard?

Please, professor. Don't rub it in.

- I'm sorry.

RAVITCH:
Where is Erhardt's office?

SCHULTZ:
You can't go in there.

- Arrest him!

- Wait!

- Silence!

I'm General Von Seidelman,

head of the Fhrer's safety squad.

I arrived this morning and in one hour,

I discover a plot against him.

- Can't I rely on anybody?

- General...

- He's an imposter.

- Shut up.

I will not. Are you blind? Any fool

can see he's wearing a false beard.

You didn't even pull on it.

- What do you have to say?

- L...

- Who is this?

- A prisoner.

I was going to release him

in the imposter's custody...

I'll take charge myself.

There will be a reorganization here.

Believe me, heads will roll.

You will hear from me.

You haven't heard the last of this.

Schultz!

ANDRE:

Remember, we've gotta be convincing.

The dress circle will be

protected by Hitler's guard.

If they suspect anything, they'll

shoot first and ask questions later.

Be certain Hitler's in his box

before the diversion.

And I am the diversion.

All your life you've wanted

to play Shylock. Please, be wonderful.

Don't worry, I can do it.

With a little luck, tomorrow night...

...we'll all be in England.

- Me too?

- Of course, you too.

- And them?

- What them?

This them.

What's going on here?

We started with three.

What are they, Jews or rabbits?

- How can we take them?

- How can we leave them?

All right, we'll take them.

Come on. It's half-hour.

Let's get ready.

Heil Hitler.

[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]

SOLDIER:

General.

[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]

SOLDIER:

General.

MAN:

Achtung! Achtung!

[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]

SOLDIERS:

Sieg Heil!

GUARD:

Heil Hitler!

SOLDIER:
Sieg!

SOLDIERS:
Heil!

- Sieg!

- Heil!

- Sieg!

- Heil!

[HORN HONKS]

GRUBA:
Hurry! Get them into

these clown costumes.

Sasha, the gold stars.

I got one more star to do.

[HORN HONKS]

SASHA:
Hurry up.

GRUBA:
Hurry. Go!

[HORN HONKS]

[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]

GUARD:

The Fhrer!

Achtung!

- How did you get here?

- I was born here.

And what made you decide to die here?

Him.

- What do you want from the Fhrer?

- What does he want from us?

- Aren't we human?

- Silence, Jew.

Let him speak.

Hath not a Jew eyes?

Hath not a Jew hands?

Organs, dimensions, senses,

affections, passions?

Fed with the same food.

Hurt with the same weapons.

Subject to the same diseases.

If you prick us, do we not bleed?

If you tickle us, do we not laugh?

If you poison us, do we not die?

And if you wrong us...

...shall we not revenge?

Silence!

Bring this man to my headquarters.

I want to question him myself.

- You were wonderful.

- Thank you.

Scandalous!

Absolutely disgraceful.

How could this have happened?

I must advise you to leave.

We'll follow you to the airport.

No! You will stay and search

the theatre for other infiltrators.

Come, Mein Fhrer.

Heil Hitler!

- Heil Hitler!

BRONSKl:
Heil myself.

[HORN HONKS]

[SPEAKING YIDDISH]

[SPEAKS GERMAN]

Here.

Go, go, go!

All right. Here.

- Come on.

- Come on, hurry.

Coming.

Surprise!

- You're early.

- I know. I just couldn't wait.

You can't stay.

I'm expecting a high-ranking person.

I doubt if he outranks me.

He's very jealous.

He mustn't see you here.

Don't worry, liebchen. Just consider

yourself in the arms of the Gestapo.

What are you doing?

- Heil Hitler!

- To the airport.

Hurry, they're going!

- Anna should be here.

- I'll get her.

I'll get her. I'm her husband.

Get back to the truck

and get into your SS uniform. Hurry.

- No!

- I'll give you butter rations!

I'll give you three eggs a week.

Five!

- No!

- I'll throw in a chicken!

- Sweetheart, are you all right?

- Mein Fhrer!

Heil...

- Hitler.

ERHARDT:
Hitler.

BRONSKl:

Heil.

- I told him somebody big was coming.

- Big, but...

Come, schatzi, we're late.

What's your name?

Colonel Er...

- Erhardt.

- Thank you.

Erhardt? Erhardt?

Aren't you the one who makes a joke

about my becoming a pickle?

- The Fhrer.

- Heil Hitler!

- Heil Hitler.

- Herr General.

You and your men are relieved.

I am in charge of the Fhrer's safety.

That is the Fhrer's bomb squad.

There may be a bomb on the plane.

- Take your men to a safe distance.

- With all due respect, I have orders.

No one is allowed near the plane

under any circumstances.

Von Seidelman, what's going on?

Heil Hitler.

[OFFICER SPEAKS IN GERMAN]

I'll check out the cockpit.

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