To Be or Not to Be Page #6

- Heil Hitler!

- Heil Hitler!

Schultz, get out!

Yes, sir.

There's something wrong with

a man who doesn't drink or smoke!

- Like our Fhrer?

- Yes. No!

Well, I must be going.

When you see the Fhrer, I hope you

won't mention the smoking or drinking.

Or the pickle?

No, I wouldn't want to ruin you.

- I must go. I'm keeping a lady waiting.

- Mrs. Bronski?

- How did you know?

- We at the Gestapo know everything.

Then you know her husband,

Frederick Bronski.

- Yes, I do.

- You do?

I saw him on a stage before the war.

- You did?

- Yes.

- And about his performance...

- Yes?

What he did to Hamlet,

we are now doing to Poland.

Good night, colonel.

Let me tell you something.

I wouldn't repeat any jokes

about the Fhrer.

No, never. Never!

Never again!

Made it. Made it!

I did it. Sweetheart, I did it.

I fooled him, I...

I did it. I did it.

I fooled him. I did it.

I made it.

I gave the greatest performance

of my life...

...and nobody saw it.

Where is Sasha?

Of all days not to show...

Hide me!

They're putting homosexuals

into concentration camps.

I have a list of lovely things

That make my life complete

And at the top

You'll find the thing

That makes my poor heart beat

It isn't money or power

Or a castle rising in Spain

It's a simple word

That you've often heard

But let me repeat it again

That word is "ladies"

Those wonderful ladies

Those fabulous ladies

They're driving me wild

I'm talkin ' ladies

All ages of ladies

From 20s to 80s

They've got me beguiled

NAZI OFFICER:

Out of the way.

I love those ladies

Those glamorous ladies

Over-amorous ladies

They're simply divine

I don't care if I'm headed

For heaven or headed for...

... Hades

As long as there's ladies

Oh, ladies be mine

I told you there was no one in there.

[SPEAKS GERMAN]

You invade Poland, Warsaw,

and now my dressing room.

You people are compulsive invaders.

- He loves the ladies

- They smell of perfume

- Those wonderful ladies

- They light up a room

- Those fabulous ladies

- Soft and sweet as a rose

- They're driving him wild

- In or out of their clothes

- I'm talkin '

- Ladies

- I certainly am

- Those heartbreaking ladies

Those breathtaking ladies

They've got me beguiled

- He calls us ladies

- But there's one that's the best

- His glamorous ladies

- Stands out from the rest

- Over-amorous ladies

- Here's the one that I mean

She's a princess

No, no, she's a queen

So...

... although the Lucilles

And the Sallys and Susies and...

... Sadies

May be beautiful ladies

This lady's my queen

- What are you doing?

- Help me, they're after me.

[BLOWS WHISTLE]

Get him!

SASHA:

No!

Wait a minute!

We're doing a show here.

- He's under arrest.

- Just a moment. You made a mistake.

- He's a performer!

- Take him away.

Don't, they'll take you too.

Wait a minute. I am Anna Bronski,

and this is my friend.

Take him away!

- Oh, Sasha.

- Anna!

- Sasha!

- No!

Bring that curtain down. This theatre

is closed. Everyone must leave at once!

Why am I being taken

to Gestapo headquarters?

My orders are to bring you to Erhardt.

That's all I can say.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Chief of police keeps me

waiting an hour and a half.

Then comes in and says, "Nobody knows

where they're holding Sasha. "

I used to command respect

to this city...

What's that?

The Gestapo arrested Anna.

She's at Erhardt's office.

- My God!

- I've got to get her out.

Are you crazy? You walk in with a gun,

they'll shoot you down.

She's my wife. If there's any,

"I'll get her out," those are my lines.

- How are you gonna do it?

- I don't know.

Let me think. Let me think!

- Siletski! I can play him again.

- Good.

Where did I put that beard?

Get that out of the way.

Hurry up, we're late.

[SPEAKS GERMAN]

- Mrs. Bronski.

- Ah, Mrs. Bronski, Mrs. Bronski.

- We're all here.

- So happy you could come.

I am Colonel Erhardt.

Won't you sit down?

Forgive me for calling you

on short notice.

I'm taking advantage of the fact that

we have a mutual friend. Siletski.

In that case I'm puzzled,

Colonel Erhardt.

- Why am I under arrest?

- Arrest?

Get out.

No, I brought you here because

I have some wonderful news for you.

Tonight, you and your theatre company

will perform for the Fhrer.

He's paying a surprise visit to Warsaw.

What a great honor.

We really don't deserve it.

- Besides, we can't do it.

- You can't?

No. Our theatre's been closed.

It's boarded up.

Who closed it?

The Gestapo.

Excuse me.

Schultz!

What idiot gave the order to close

the Bronski Theatre?

You did, sir.

Open it up immediately.

And stop blaming everything

that goes wrong on me!

But, colonel, I was only obeying...

All I was doing... Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler!

He gets out of everything with that

Heil Hitler.

Mrs. Bronski, I had the pleasure

of seeing you on the stage once.

You're even more beautiful in person.

Would it be too forward of me...

...to propose a champagne supper

after the performance this evening?

I'd love to. But I'm already having

a candlelight dinner with Siletski.

Any chance we could have

supper after dinner?

- I'm sorry. I never sup after I dine.

- Oh.

I don't want to take advantage

of our new friendship.

But when they closed our theatre,

they arrested my dresser.

Since I'm going to perform tonight,

do you think he could be released?

- What is his name?

- Sasha Kinski.

Sasha Kinski?

Yes. He's being held downstairs.

He's set for transfer tomorrow.

- What does that mean?

- You better find a new dresser.

[PHONE RINGS]

Excuse me.

What?!

Murdered?

You sure it is his body?

Positive identification.

This is terrible. Terrible!

Mrs. Bronski, please. Sit down.

I'm afraid I... I'm afraid I have

very bad news for you.

Your friend, our friend, Siletski,

has been killed. He's dead.

His body was found in a trunk.

Well...

I guess you're free

for dinner tonight.

It's a bit of a shock.

I'm still a little upset.

Naturally, naturally.

[KNOCKING]

Forgive me. This is an emergency.

Siletski's on the phone.

Good.

What? Professor Siletski?

- Did you tell him he was dead?

- No.

Good.

Hello, Professor Siletski.

It's good to hear your voice.

How are you?

- How are you feeling?

- He's alive?

No, he's still dead.

This is obviously an imposter.

I can see you in 20 minutes.

Is that good for you,

Professor Siletski? Fine.

We'll be waiting for you.

I must run, there's so much to do.

I'm so sorry.

See you later.

- Right after the show.

- Yes.

[KISS]

Ah!

Schultz!

About Professor Siletski.

Let's prepare a surprise for him.

As soon as he comes,

let's get a whole...

- Am I all right?

- Good.

No, wait!

The beard, it's coming loose.

Oh, God, you're right.

I'm gonna take a spare.

You never know. Just in case.

Sobinski, look.

If something goes wrong...

...I don't blame you for falling

in love with her. It's easy.

- Good luck.

- No! Don't say that, it's bad luck.

- What do you say to say good luck?

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