To Rome With Love Page #3

- Look, there must be a mistake.

- You can do whatever you like.

- Ah, yes? Please, go away.

- I cannot. You're upset.

- Who...?!

- They told me that you're stressed and

you'd be surprised.

- But you are the lucky winner.

- Winner of what?!

- The winner of the contest.

- But what contest?

Domi and Fabio have paid me and told me

to congratulate you.

That they were wrong and that you need

to accept their apologies.

- These two gentlemen I do not know them.

Will you leave?

- I will not tell.

I am here to fulfill your dreams.

Please, Miss. Leave!

But you're Mr. Debroca,

room 504.

I'm not Mr. Debroca

but the room is right.

- Please, leave now...

- Is anyone there?

- Sorry, sorry.

- I told you to wait.

No, it's not like you think.

Have a seat, please.

We were to meet at noon, the door was open...

- So you do not enter without knocking!

- Nice way to meet your wife!

- This is not my wife.

- No!

I hope you're joking.

Of course I'm kidding.

She's my wife.

I am Uncle Paul.

Giovanna.

Uncle Sal.

Aunt Rita.

Anna.

- Anna! But isn't your name Milly?

- Milly?...

Milly, of course, Milly.

Anna is the second name.

- Milly!

- Milly.

We will be waiting downstairs,

don't worry. Come on.

- Paul... - Yes

- Yes, yes. - See you later.

I want to die! My life is over!

I am ruined!

Tell them the truth,

that there was a mistake.

But how?! They've seen us

on the bed! I am in my underwear...

They won't understand...

What they'll think...

I'll never convince

them, it's useless.

They will think I called an escort.

Why did you jump on me?

I was paid to make love with Mr.

Debroca.

- And leave the door open! - Yes

- Are you an idiot? - I thought it was closed.

They're the kind of people who think

they are in charge of everything.

Milly's coming.

We have to get out of here.

You have to pretend to be my wife.

I pretend to be your wife?

I'm no actress. Plus...

-You just called me an "idiot".

- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I need your help because if

Milly comes, I'll jump out the window.

- Do you not understand that sooner or later

they'll discover everything?

I need time,

then I'll think of something.

It is important that we leave immediately

and get away.

- Can you walk faster?

- I'm walking fine. Relax.

Her flight should've landed.

Right, by the time she goes through customs

and luggage it'll be about an hour.

I hope you don't fall in love with her.

In love with her? What...

what the hell does that mean?

- Well, men always just go crazy for her.

- Well, I'm... I'm crazy for you.

OK, That... that's her.

Monica!

- Hi!

- Hi! It's so good to see you!

- You look so great!

- Stop it!

Nothing special, right?

No, nothing special at all.

Like... I got no buzz.

I mean, look at her,

this... this is the hot "femme fatale"?

Of course, she has been flying for 14 hours.

But you would admit

there is something about her.

All I can say is that if something

is clicking, it's so subconscious,

I'm... I'm totally unaware.

She's no big deal, certainly not

some formidable heartbreaker.

She's...

she's a disheveled, out of work actress.

...for so long, now you're here. I just...

- Hi! Hi, I'm Jack.

- This is Monica.

Hi, it's so nice to meet you.

I'm sorry. I mean, I must look awful.

- Please don't make any snap judgments.

- No, you look fine.

I just... I can never sleep on the plane.

I had a Scotch and three Ambien,

but still...

Pretty cozy this ride into town.

I keep telling you

I have no interest in Monica.

I just hope having her around is

not gonna interfere with my work.

But there is an element of excitement,

a germ, a spark, one molecule...

God...

I see it so clearly now.

But I'm older.

- Thank you, the dinner was great.

- Thanks.

Ah, yeah, you're becoming

a really great Italian chef.

Well, I figured it was just her first

night here, so...uh, why not stay in?

Yeah, it's perfect,

just the three of us.

- Wha... what are you reading?

- Oh, the poetry of Yeats.

"The gong-tormented sea."

Yeah... yeah, you know it?

Do you wanna talk about

the breakup with Donald?

Well, Donald was gay. Um, it was my ego

that thought I could change him,

and I couldn't. Believe me, I tried.

Yeah? How does one try?

Well, I mean... I don't wanna

get graphic, but...

I mean, let's just say that

I gave it my all.

And it's such a shame,

because he's so brilliant,

and he's so wonderful out of that.

I mean, so much fun to be with.

I... I tried to show him

how sex with a woman...

...could be as exciting or even more so

than with someone from his own sex.

Then he tried, he... he did try.

But in the end, I... uh,

I struck out. So...

I remember you saying how much fun

you have when he took you to Paris.

Have you ever had sex with a man?

Me? Se... sex with a man?

God! No...no, no!

I mean, no. It's not something

I'm interested in ever doing...

Why are you blushing?

Probably because you wanna try it.

Look, I always had a little yen

for sleeping with a woman,

and when I finally did,

and it was... was very intense,

it was very exciting but unnerving.

I really have no repressed...

I... I shot this TV movie once, and...

one of the scenes it was with this

incredible lingerie model.

I mean, she was to die.

And... and for whatever reason,

I... I get this message one day...

...from the assistant director that Miss Lee

would like me to go to her dressing room.

And why she was so suddenly

obsessed with me, I don't know.

And... and I go.

And she's in her robe.

And she takes it off,

and gives me a big hug and kiss.

And I just become crazed.

I mean, I become so excited.

I mean, she was just

too beautiful to turn down.

We had the thing for like. .

three months. Yeah, it was like

being in an erotic dream.

And... and on the one hand,

yes, it was very exciting,

but on the other hand,

just very confusing.

And... and that's when I started seeing

the shrink five days a week.

Well, fortunately, Jamal came along,

and we had a great relationship.

And as great as the orgasms were

with Victoria.

They were stronger with Jamal,

and just a lot less bewildering.

Excuse me.

She is something, isn't she?

Yeah, give me...

I need a few minutes to recover from

her story, it's still vibrating.

I think she's so fun.

Yeah, but look, finally what she got,

I mean, no... no real acting career,

no relationship that's remotely stable,

sleeping pills, shrinks...

You sound like you try to convince yourself.

Hey, I've got a great idea.

Let's go for a little walk tonight.

Oh, no, I'm exhausted.

But, um... why don't you take her, Jack?

Oh, no... no... no!

God, no! That will be a catastrophe!

Why are you so worried?

You think of me as the seductress,

this is your problem.

Bullshit! You deliberately made up this

provocative story with some lingerie model.

It was true, most of it. OK?

I... I exaggerated a little.

I like to embellish.

It's part of my creative charm.

Come on! Come on,

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