TOC: Transtornada Obsessiva Compulsiva

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Shut up!

Shut up!

Son of a b*tch, my balls!

I wanted to have children, man!

I didn't even know this guy!

What?

Can I just fix your shirt?

What?

It's pissing me off!

Hold this.

Who are you?

Go. Thou art free.

Thou shall not be raped.

Who are you?

I'm the salvation.

No. I'm the salvation.

No, I'm the salvation.

This is my dream.

- F*** off, b*tch.

- F*** you, girl!

Look at your size.

Go f*** yourself!

What the f*** was Ingrid

doing in your dream?

I don't know.

She's usually in all my dreams.

So I started to fight her.

Then, two mutant

Pegasus horses appeared.

- Pegasus?

- That horse with wings.

So we jumped on the horses

and started to ride them.

Suddenly I was riding on Ingrid

and she seemed very happy,

which makes me think...

Anyway, then we went

to a crowded soccer stadium.

There were 120.000 people

with their nipples painted white

singing Timbalada:

I went away, my love cried

I went away, my love cried

I went away, my love cried

I went away, my love cried

I will dance

I'll fly on the wings of a bird

I'll fly on the kisses

of a hummingbird

Yes, I know Timbalada.

Then a hummingbird

actually appeared

and it started to poke us

opening small wounds.

Then a note

came out of here.

I took the note,

and it said:
"Smile."

I said:
"What?"

And it said:
"That's it."

The note spoke to me:

"That's it".

I asked it:
"Where were you?"

It said:
"With you."

I opened it, and it said:

"There's another note behind you."

I took it, and it said:

"Read the back of the first note."

I read it and it said:

"I was kidding. It's the other one."

- And Ingrid?

- The dream was the soap opera,

"Lovegeddon,

the Apocalypse of Love".

In my dream she was trying

to steal my part

- like she always does.

- Relax. That part is yours.

We'll have a meeting this week

to settle this.

Who's on the co ver

of the airline magazine?

Is it Ingrid?

It's you Kika K.

I really hate this picture.

Son of a b*tch!

I forgot the gas on

in my house!

Son of a b*tch!

You always say that,

but you never did.

I forgot it on, trust me.

We're arriving in So Paulo.

Darling... I forgot the gas on!

What are we doing here again?

Did you have to poke the girl's eyes?

She's the one

who started, that slut.

You have to control this neurosis

If everytime you thought

the gas was on, it was on

there will be nothing

left in the world.

Stop hopscotching, Kika!

This floor is messed up.

We're late, let's go!

Where's the driver now?

So incompetent.

Where are you?

I'm coming.

- Wait here, Kika.

- Ok.

Why departure?

We're at the arrival area!

Get out of the street!

Kika!

I can't believe this.

What are you doing here, Felipe?

- Are you good?

- Yes, I'm fine.

What's up? How are you?

What are you doing here, Felipe?

I was riding my bike.

You don't ride bikes, Felipe.

They built this bike lane, so I...

No, Felipo.

There's no bike lanes here.

There's a highway and a u-turn.

You're following me.

- Is Caio ok?

- Yes, he is.

What about a unt Leila?

Why do you talk to my a unt Leila

if no one in my family does?

She's upset. You don't call her,

no one calls her.

That's because she's sick.

If it wasn't me calling her...

Do you remember

the restraining order?

That's nothing.

Nonsense.

It's to protect me.

You sent me a wet underwear.

That's so you!

I sent you the underwear

and a beautiful friendship letter,

but you only remember

the underwear.

Right, "Ms. Glass Half Empty"?

Look, I'll call

the police on you.

No, that's ok.

At least, if I'm not

asking too much...

can I have your autograph?

Please, lady?

Write it to me

and to my girlfriend.

So you have a girlfriend now?

Yes I do.

This ship has sailed!

What did the judge tell you?

At least 100 yards!

Police! Police! Police!

Take it easy!

People are staring.

Don't make eye contact.

What the f*** is this?

Tonight I get it back

at the book signing!

- Carol, what's this?

- Get in, get in!

"1003 Ways to Be Happy", Carol?

Didn't you want

to write a book?

Yes, but I didn't write this.

Of course not,

you don't have the time,

so I hired a ghost writer.

You hired a ghost writer

to write a book for me?

What's the matter?

Plato wrote everything

for Socrates.

But this is not Socrates,

this is self-help.

People will think I'm an idiot.

I want to know why there are

so many cats in this book.

When did I get associated

with a cat?

What's up with this cat, Carol?

I've never been with this cat.

Everybody loves a kitty.

I can't believe this.

For God's sake.

Ok, darling, what did you want?

I wanted to write a book myself.

With my truth.

I wanted to write a poetry book.

Poetry? Who reads poetry?

Poetry is for beggars.

This dialogues with the masses.

It won't happen.

There won't be a book launch.

No way. Forget about it.

Carol?

Too late.

The book launch is today.

We focused our campaign

on Twitter and Facebook.

You'll have to promote your book

on Ana Juliana's show.

When were you planning

on telling me that?

Later. The f***ing fatso

ruined the surprise.

I won't lie to the whole country

on national television

about having written

a book that I didn't!

The opportunity to write this book

is a childhood dream that came true.

Cool, cool.

Don't you want

to read us a passage?

I don't think it's necessary.

The work speaks for itself.

Really?

You don't want to read it?

- So I'll read it then.

- No, I'll do it.

I'll read a passage

that I really like

that talks about...

Passage 784.

A lie seems like a shortcut,

but it always leads to sadness.

A lie may seem like the truth,

but it's truly a lie.

- I think I'll read something else.

- No, it's wonderful.

Kika K. Is la unching

"1003 Ways To Be Happy" in So Paulo

and the book is available

on all bookstores.

Our next guest is Kadu

who is joined

by the biologist Fabio Marcoff.

- How are you?

- Hi. How are you?

- I don't know if I can get close.

- Hello, hello.

Fabio, tell us

what's the story of Kadu.

- Kadu is a capuchin monkey.

- How cool.

It's typical from the Amazon region.

It's a very clever animal

that resembles human beings.

Kadu is now 8 years-old,

which means

that he's an adolescent.

He's always locked

in the bathroom, right?

- No.

- Sorry.

He has no bathroom,

because he's a monkey.

He's bathroom is outdoors.

Why is this species popularly known

in Brazil as a "nail monkey"?

We call it "nail monkey"

because his penis resembles a nail.

The females have a clitoris

that resembles a penis

that also resembles a nail.

What a coincidence.

Why are you laughing?

Look at it.

Look how it is.

Can we zoom in?

Unfortunately we're out of time.

I'd like to thank you

for your presence,

Fabio Marcoff, biologist,

and Kadu this spontaneous

capuchin monkey.

Kika, thank you too.

I'm Ana Juliana and I'll see you

next week on Ana Juliana.

See you next week.

Come on, DJ!

People were praising you

back there.

But they say that to anyone.

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