Toc Toc

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Toc Toc

25! You old girl!

I could slap you...

And when you're 35?

And 43?

And 50 like me, what then?

Give me a kiss, old girl.

Congratulations!

It's 5 o'clock

and it's the new girl's birthday.

No "happy birthday" for me?

C'm0n, I'm buying drinks.

I have to finish some samples.

Of Ebola?

Aren't you baking in all that?

You go ahead.

Okay.

- Happy birthday.

- Thanks.

- Ciao.

- Alright, Blanca...

I knew I forgot something.

Did you pick them up or not?

Here they are.

Don't you see it, Ana Maria?

Close it up or they go soft!

They took everything: computers,

pressure cooker...

even an ancient epilator.

You know how they got in?

Through a window.

She made him a romantic dinner,

the house full of candles.

They drank too much, got all giggly,

and fell asleep.

Five fire trucks. Five!

Look, bus 9 again.

I've come across bus 9

9 times now. Weird, huh?

Move it!

You know what I read

in the paper this morning?

You know how many sperm cells

a man releases with each ejaculation?

Around 60 million... per milliliter!

Cut it out. I don't care.

F***, the 9 again.

That's 1O times today.

You're my third woman today.

The first had chestnut hair.

And she was the prettiest this month.

The rest were men, five to be exact.

Fine, fine.

Maybe we'll even the odds.

"Even the odds", she says...

So if each ejaculation

is 2 to 5 milliliters...

Look, a green Mini again.

I've seen three today.

That's not normal, no way.

The green Mini or the sperm?

How many ejaculations have you had

in your life? Just imagine.

No idea. I've been married 66 years.

- Just get me to my destination.

- What does that come to?

120 to 300 million sperm cells.

And just for one to hit the spot.

Imagine the genocide

when you "relieve yourself'.

Look...

the light's red, so let me out here.

You don't mind?

- No, why would I mind?

- Good.

Look, another 9.

And a green Mini behind it!

F***, this is crazy.

See you.

'Bye.

And your change?

Let's go, okay? Let's go, okay?

Up, down! Up, down!

Give it to me! Give it to me!

I want a positive attitude.

I want a positive attitude.

Little! Little!

Little! Little!

She's the best.

In her classes you sweat three times

as much and burn tons of calories.

Can you handle it?

I love challenges.

Very sexy!

Color in from 0 to 10

your level of satisfaction

in each of these areas.

If you feel frustrated at work,

only color in up to 1 or 2.

If you feel happy

and fulfilled at work,

color in up to 10.

The same with love.

I don't know how many courses

like this I've done.

I've spent a fortune.

Self-awareness isn't covered

by Social Security.

You know what I think?

There are no answers

to our behavior.

Accepting yourself is the key.

But accepting yourself can be tricky.

Whores.

Hey, don't leave me here!

I'm going to Getafe!

...8, 9, 10, 11, 12,

13,14,15,16,

17, 18, 19, 20.

21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27...

Good afternoon.

- Drink up.

- Thanks.

5 floors, 75 stairs,

a gap of 15-16 meters, roughly,

and I did it in 1 minute, 10 seconds.

Not bad for my age.

Your calculation is off.

Impossible.

You think you're the first?

Aurora Garrido counted 70.

Teodoro Sanlucar, 78,

Pilar Maldonado, 81.

Shall I go on?

81? What?

I won't argue, I don't need it.

I should've stuck to Vet Science.

DIETARY BEHAVIOR,

COUPLE THERAPY...

Bless you.

...14,15,16,17,18,19,

20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25...

-...26, 27, 28...

- Good afternoon.

Sorry.

...29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34...

...35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40...

PSYCHOLOGY CLINIC,

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF

- Good afternoon.

- Doctor?

Silly me! Only Dr. Palomero

is in session this afternoon. Name?

Blanca Ruiz-Prez.

Hello. Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

You never know

who's been sitting here.

Not me, that's for sure. Why?

CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGIS I'll lick your p*ssy.

Gimme that ass.

Excuse me...

Yes?

Did you say something?

"Good afternoon."

Good afternoon.

Excuse me,

when is your appointment?

At 4230.

The same time as mine.

- With Palomero?

- Palomero, yes.

Fuckng b*tch!

- I heard that. I'm not deaf.

- No, no...

- Save that for somebody else!

- Miss, please...

- Where's the bathroom?

- I'll suck your tits!

- No, no, no!

- Miss...

Miss, don't be scared.

Don't touch me!

- Listen, miss...

- Don't touch me!

Listen!

Help!

I won't hurt you.

- Let me explain...

- Help!

Help!

I'm not doing it on purpose.

Please...

- Please.

- Don't touch me!

Calm down or we'll be

like this all afternoon. Slut!

I'm not a slut!

You're out of control!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- B*tch!

- Cut it out!

There are 75,

there's no disputing it.

Excuse me, will you call the police?

Thanks.

Yes. Can you give me a second?

There's some kind of

evil ventriloquist in there.

Look, look!

Look how he's pushing!

He went nuts because

our appointments are the same time.

What time's your appointment?

4:
30!

- Mine's at 4:
30 too.

- Is that my fault?

Relax, I didn't say anything.

- And the hostess?

- What hostess?

What's-her-face over there.

Will you knock it off?

Call them!

Why would I call the police?

I'm a taxi driver,

an expert in conflict resolution.

Let me handle it.

- I don't have a weird disease.

- Then what are you doing here?

- What?

- What?

Did you get up in a bad mood?

Sorry, miss, I told you,

I don't do it on purpose.

- You were pushing the door.

- You wouldn't listen to me.

She wouldn't listen to you.

Same as my wife. Well, ex-wife.

I shout insults and obscenities

at people without wanting to.

Tourette's Syndrome

the specialists call it.

- Are you shitting me?

- No, I swear it's true.

F*** off!

See? It just comes out.

Now you mention it,

I think I saw it in a documentary.

I've had it since I was 11.

I've been to so many specialists...

A**hole! Sorry.

No, no, relax.

I'm in the middle of an attack.

Sorry if I freaked out.

I never imagined you were...

No, it happens to me a lot.

There's no cure,

but I'm told that Dr. Palomero

can reduce the attacks.

What's going on here?

The bathroom, please?

The bathroom? What for?

- Do I have to explain?

- What does that say?

-"Bathrooms".

- Then why ask?

- Use the men's, the other's busted.

- No way I'm going in there.

I'll just... freshen up.

Miss, we have a problem.

This isn't group therapy, is it?

No, you have separate times.

Then why are the three of us here?

I've waited 13.5 months

for this appointment.

410 days.

9,840 hours, which makes...

590,400 minutes. This sucks.

There's a long waiting list.

I'm thinking of opening my own clinic.

People are more and more...

Disoriented.

Exactly!

It's the business of the future.

Sorry, can I ask a question?

Is it true that Dr. Palomero

never sees the same patient twice?

They say he's a philanthropist,

Rockefeller-style,

never charges his patients.

I'm sorry, I'm not authorized

to discuss his methods.

Ffff... iddlesticks!

Let it out.

Don't repress it,

you'll feel much better.

Have you got the same syndrome

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