Toc Toc Page #2

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as this gentleman?

I suffer from "9 to 5 syndrome".

Go into the waiting room and wait!

Federico, my name's Federico.

- Emilio. Nice to meet you.

- Same here.

I have a question.

What about at night?

- At night what?

- Do you do it then too?

No, at night I'm asleep

and terribly polite.

Excuse me for prying, but...

have you ever wondered,

out of curiosity,

what your average is?

- Average what?

- How old are you?

- Sixty.

- You look like a young lad.

- Thanks.

- You've had it since you were 11?

Yes. Where is this going?

In 5 minutes, you've had 6 spasms,

which means 72 an hour.

If we multiply that by 16...

- I won't count 8 hours sleep.

- No, not 8.

I get by on 5, I'm an early riser.

Then it comes to...

a total of 1,368 insults a day.

- Roughly.

- That many?

I haven't finished.

Right, 1,368 times 365,

499,320.

Impressive.

I'll finish.

499,320 times 49,

the years since you began,

makes a total of...

24,466,680,

insults or obscene gestures.

Roughly, or...?

No, not roughly. Exactly.

You're really... An a**hole!

Sorry, sorry...

A genius, I meant to say.

You're a genius.

Boss, you got no problem

with me, really.

I've... got it.

You should go on TV.

There's no need to ask

what brings you here.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

Dr. Palomero too, huh?

Looks like we have to wait.

You didn't bring any cards

so we can have a game?

Excuse me...

There's no paper.

And I think someone

was smoking in the bathroom.

Disgraceful!

It's a no-smoking building!

It wasn't me.

Do you know the health risk

to passive smokers includes,

apart from lung cancer,

cancer of...

WHO AM I?

...the paranasal sinuses,

respiratory infections

and multiple heart diseases?

Horrible.

I have to put it in?

I'm very busy.

The computer app

has a life of its own.

It gave everyone the same time.

It wasn't my fault.

It's competing with me.

Good afternoon.

Is this Dr. Palomino's office?

Palomero, lady!

And what did I say?

Is it me or did someone

leave a tap on?

Numerical obsessive-compulsive

disorder.

Arithmomania, that's your thing.

I've been seeing doctors so long,

I've got a huge file

on these diseases.

So, what am I?

An arithmomaniac,

someone who can't stop counting.

- So mine's got a name?

- Sure.

How about that?

Get me the IT guy!

No! Now!

But Miss...

Tiffany.

- But Miss Tiffany's...

- That's the jeweler's.

- I was about to say that. Thanks.

- Dr. Palo... or whatever...

- Is he in yet?

- No, not yet.

Ramiro, the super-mega app

you foisted on us to solve

our appointment problems

is a piece of sh*t.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

Go to the waiting room and wait.

Thanks a lot.

No, I told you to uninstall the app.

I think this woman is incapable

of doing a job like this.

Very curt.

With all the qualified girls

out of a job. Explain that to me.

- People are awful.

- Are you listening, Ramiro?

They say the electromagnetic waves

from cellphones

are making us all a bit crazy.

I have to go to the bathroom.

- Cystitis.

- Don't hold it in, that's worse.

CONTACT WITH THE OTHER SIDE

- Good afternoon.

- Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

Can you control yourself?

Done.

Hey, let me out!

I'm freaking out!

I've got claustrophobia!

Honey!

Do you have an appointment

with Dr. Palo... Alto, sweetie?

Yes, yes.

Palomero, Palomero.

How many people is he seeing today?

Whore! Slut! Gutter slut!

F***ing hussy!

- Jesus! What is this?

- Prick-teaser!

Sorry, madam, forgive me.

Are you insane?

Are you drunk?

Don't be offended.

My friend has a tiny problem.

He swears and makes

obscene gestures unintentionally.

- Suck my cock!

- For God's sake!

Excuse me, I'm sorry.

No, Federico, no.

Don't apologize again.

Lady, you have to understand

the situation.

He's sick,

he doesn't do it on purpose.

Whore! Filthy tramp! Cock-teaser!

- Yes, deal with it.

- It's awful!

Again?

He's not doing it on purpose!

- Neither am I.

- What?

I'm not doing it on purpose.

Seriously?

It's a real circus in here.

Slut!

I don't know about you,

but I'm starting to feel uneasy.

This time no apologies.

That's the way, Federico.

- Excuse me, is that a Bible?

- The what?

The book. Is it a Bible?

Ah, yes.

- Do you want it?

- Yes, please.

Thank you, dear.

- Good afternoon...

- Excuse me.

You don't have another roll?

I'll buy it.

- Just what I needed.

- Here's the doctor.

- You have an appointment too?

- Yes, at...

4:
30, but I'm a bit late.

27 minutes and 41 seconds,

to be exact.

- Is that bad?

- No, it's just so you know.

Oh, awesome.

Relax, there's a queue.

We should turn off the light

or we'll attract more weirdos.

I left the light on! Silly me!

- And the gas!

- The gas too?

I think so, maybe, I don't know.

Lord help me, I'm going.

How many people before me?

- You're fifth.

- Excuse me.

That man's before me and the girl.

I'm second.

No, no, I got here before you.

No. No, I got here second,

I just went to the bathroom.

No, no, I got here before you.

- Am I lying?

- You're lying.

I got here before you.

I just had to do a routine check,

so I'm second and Federico...

Fedeflco.

- That's me.

- He was first. Ask the hostess.

What hostess?

To avoid arguments,

I can let you go first.

I'm in no hurry.

Very kind. Thank you, sir.

- I told you he was a good man.

- Jerk me off!

- Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

- He's still a good man.

And you? Are you going to

stand there all afternoon?

It's like they do it to annoy me.

- What?

- They follow me.

- Who does?

- The lines.

I never walk on lines

and it's full of them here.

Oh, so that's your thing, eh?

Well, here...

you've got... 17.

If you like...

It'll give you a shortcut.

Oh, terrific.

- Sorry.

- This is highly unhygienic!

Things are livening up!

I'm sending her the water bill.

F***, what a star!

Champ, want a glass of water?

Yes, thanks. Awesome.

Excuse me again.

You don't have a bactericide?

A micro-bactericide?

No.

- Fungicide?

- No!

Alcohol?

I can't see anything.

Sure it's not in your bag?

Thoroughly. Absolutely.

They have to be here.

I picked them up.

I might be locked out.

Good God!

I picked them up.

Oh, Lord!

Oh, my God!

Did you see the maniac?

Well, my wife...

- Ex.

- She was the same.

When we ate out, it was a miracle

she didn't clean the kitchen.

And this one has soap for dessert.

I wonder how many bars

of soap she uses a year.

Maybe 175 or 215.

"Cleansing rituals" they're called.

I'll try to find

the specific term.

Does she keep packets?

My God! Here they are!

You had us going there!

But if someone rings my doorbell

with the gas on,

something awful will happen.

Look, lady, you're going to

drive us all crazy.

Did you or did you not check

that you turned the gas off?

Several times.

I'm a responsible Spanish citizen.

- How many times exactly?

- I don't remember.

- More than ten.

- A lot more.

How many? Roughly.

35 at least.

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