Tommy Boy Page #8

we're adding horsepower

to the American industry.

You say a word to anyone and i

will kill you. Do you understand me?

It looks real.

Yeah, television's been

good to me, son.

I make car parts for the American

working man, because that's what i am

and that's who i care about.

The truth is i make car parts

for the American working man

because i'm a hell of a salesman,

and he doesn't know any better.

Well, son, since you're no longer the

shareholder, this is where i leave you.

Don't feel bad.

This chain of events was set in

motion a long long time ago.

You and your bald headed friend,

you did what you could,

that's commendable.

Marty, have security

see these boys out!

Mrs. Callahan.

What's my family doing in there?

I thought they were on my side.

They had a lot to gain

if the factory was sold.

Boy, did i screw up.

My so-called family deserted me.

Michelle's mad at me.

I lost the factory.

The town's going under

and i'm out of a job.

Could have done without that.

Geez, i'm an idiot!

Boy, i sure let my dad down.

You tried as hard as you could.

When we first started out i thought you'd just walk

through this like you walked through everything else.

But you didn't. So your dad

would've been proud o'you.

And you got a friend out of it.

Now, i know it doesn't matter

cause you have so many, but uh...

...i don't.

Thanks man.

Tommy.

Michelle!

- Don't tell her about my hair!

- Let it go!

God, i was worried i wouldn't find you.

- Hey, what are you doing here?

- I got your message.

Okay, i was at the airport.

I was going home.

And i saw your step-brother and your

step- mother, and he was kissing her.

- So?

- With his tongue.

- Doing his mommy?

- She's not his mom. They're married.

They were lying to your dad the whole time.

And my brother got these police reports.

See?

They lied to my dad?

They're con artists.

They suckered him.

They lied to my dad.

Richard, i'm gonna need your watch.

I've got a plan.

Folks, Mr. Zalinsky gave us specific

instructions to bar you from the building.

Sorry boys.

Hopefully we'll just be in and out.

My God, he's wired!

And uh, no cops.

Wouldn't want things to get messy.

- That was fun.

- Now what?

Well, it's 6 o'clock,

time for the news.

Excuse me!

Oh God.

Done this before?

Thank you, Marty.

My, your hands move quickly!

Only when i see something

i want, Mrs. Callahan.

Just doesn't seem right.

Hi! Got a second?

- What the hell's going on?

- Oh, my God, we're gonna die!

Tommy, what are you doing?

Hi, Ted. Hi, Frank.

Excuse me, Marty.

Okay, we're live.

We now switch live to our reporter

who's at the scene with the bomber.

This is Nicole Taylor,

live from Chicago.

Hey, look! It's Tommy!

Nicole, i've got something to say.

Please, may i?

Hi. This is Tommy Callahan

here with Mr. Ray Zalinsky,

American auto-parts king.

Honey, look at this

human-bomb on the news!

Oh yeah, i buy brake pads off him.

I thought we were watching cartoons.

Mr. Zalinsky, for years you've

been putting ads on TV.

And they always end up with you saying:

"I make car parts for..." How does that go?

I make car parts for the American

working man, because that's what i am

and that's who i care about.

That's why i'm here, Ray.

You see, back in Sandusky, Ohio,

there are 300 American

workers at "Callahan Auto".

We make the best parts money can buy.

And right now those workers are

in danger of losing their jobs.

They're praying that somebody's

gonna step up and help 'em.

Is that why you've strapped

a bomb to your chest?

Oh, this isn't a bomb.

These are road flares.

Road flares?

Did you live under power lines

as a kid or something?

Why?

Do you guys want this

or "American Gladiators"?

"Gladiators".

So, do you think "Zalinsky Industries"

can help these folks?

I'll be happy to look into it.

I'll tell you what, i can get a good look at

a T-bone by sticking my head up a bull's ass,

but i'd rather take

the butcher's word for it.

Am i just severely wasted

or does Tommy look bloated?

No, it's TV, man.

Camera adds a couple... 100 pounds.

Ray, we're not looking for a handout here.

I'm offering you a great deal.

This is an order for half-a-million

"Callahan" brake pads,

to be sold in your stores.

Made by the American working man,

for the American working man.

Absolutely. It'd be my great pleasure.

What have i got to lose?

A great American product, right?

I don't believe it. Tommy just

sold half a million brake pads.

Tommy just sold a

half million brake pads!

What difference does it make? The company's

gonna be mine in ten minutes anyway. Right?

Mr. Zalinsky, thank you.

Thank you Tommy boy.

And thank you.

And remember you can pick up these

great brake pads from "Callahan Auto"

all my "Zalinsky Auto Parts"

outlets all over North America!

Bravo, Tommy!

For the moment it looks like a tragedy

has been eluded and a town has been saved.

For Action News, i'm Nicole Taylor,

reporting live.

Okay, we're out of here!

Wait a minute, fat boy!

You lost your shares to the bank.

You don't even have

a right to be here.

Gee, funny you should bring that up.

'Cause i'm not sure that you

have the right to be here.

What have we got here?

Oh my God, it's a police report!

- What's all this about?

- Let's see!

Paul Barrish, married

May 1993 to Beverly Barrish,

a.k.a. Beverly Burns.

Richard, how could Beverly

be married to Paul

and my dad at the same time?

- Interesting.

- Yes. Provocative.

Well, i think it means that your

marriage to my dad was never legal.

Which also means that Beverly's

shares still belong to Tommy.

- Isn't that right, Mr. Rittenhauer?

- Yes. I believe that's right.

- Mr. Railly?

- I'd say that's right.

- Mr. Gilmore?

- Oh, absolutely.

And let me guess, you're not going to be

selling me the company now, are you Tommy boy?

No sir.

Ray, i have no idea what

they're talking about.

That's it! You're not gonna take this.

It's not over yet, Lee Harvey.

Let's see. Warrants outstanding!

New Mexico:
Mail fraud.

Colorado:
Wire fraud.

And coming soon to Ohio:

Computer fraud.

Get him!

Don't let him leave the complex, Marty!

Hey, you forgot your wife!

Screw you!

Screw all of you!

Crash Test in Progress.

Not good.

Hit the brakes!

That will ruin his weekend.

Well kid, you threw one by me.

Savour the flavour, cause it

sure as hell won't happen again.

- In the meantime, good luck to you.

- Thank you sir.

Marty, cut a check to Callahan

Auto for those brake pads!

And you, with all this excitement around

here, i kinda' got a little hungry.

Wanna step over to my club

and have something to eat?

- Thank you. I'd like that.

- Good.

Marty, find out where the

police will be taking him!

Send over a bottle of bubbly

with a bucket of ice and a card.

Have it say:

"Tough break, get drunk on me...

use the bucket to ice down

your marbles, yours Z."

Well, Mr. Callahan, looks like

we're back in business.

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