Toni Erdmann Page #4

I told him that's why I f*** you.

And today I want to f*** you

in every corner of this room.

What's wrong?

I'll just watch you first...

I'll try to catch up.

Hurry up then.

I don't want to lose my bite.

Come on, don't be so serious.

I'll f*** you real strong.

My sperm has superpowers.

Come.

No, my bite is really more important

to me. I'd rather just watch you.

I want you to aim at one

of the petit fours.

I'll eat if afterwards.

Are you serious?

Which?

The one you please.

The green.

I'm going to come.

You're stupid.

Come here.

Gerald's lady.

What a mama.

He posts photos of himself barbecuing.

Hello, Mr. Erdmann.

So, have you calmed down a bit?

Is Tiriac still coming?

He said he was, yes.

But today was the funeral...

for Angelina.

- The turtle, of course.

- Exactly.

- Did he have many turtles?

- Crowds of them.

There was even a turtles fanfare.

Am I supposed to...

do something in particular here?

- Want some drink?

- Yeah, sure.

Who's this guy?

A workmate.

- Here.

- Thanks.

Tim Trauter, Mr. Erdmann.

Erdmann, pleased to meet you.

Everything OK?

Sorry.

- Friends, right?

- Of course.

And what do your parents

do for a living?

- My parents?

- Yes.

- We have a car dealership.

- Great.

- BMW.

- Excellent.

We learn a lot from our parents.

For example, I learned from my father

how to use a cheese grater.

We pass this down from

generation to generation.

Is it a special cheese grater?

No...

a very ordinary little cheese grater.

Believe it or not.

And you?

Do you like grating cheese?

Sadly, I don't have the time.

Yes, you have to be incredibly relaxed

to handle a cheese grater right.

- They're putting on quite a show here...

- No expense spared.

This is... Dana.

Tim. Nice to meet you.

Erdmann.

You're also here?

- Is Henneberg still here?

- Yeah, yeah. We just had dinner.

He always must...

I'm here incognito today.

We'll speak tomorrow.

You have to meet my husband.

Yes, I just have to call my mother.

- Henne is being coached by this dude?

- I know, so funny.

Car party?

Absolutely.

Later.

I was just learning a bit about

Romanian traditions.

Excuse me.

Mr. Erdmann, we're going to the club

and would love you to join us.

Translation, please.

- In which embassy you work.

- In the Germany one...

In the German. I am

Ambassador Erdmann...

- What are you doing with that guy?

- He's amusing.

No...

my heart.

Thank you.

Don't be afraid.

Sorry, I was just

checking in on you.

You are completely ill!

Open them up, please.

No, it's too risky.

Where did I put the key?

Let me go, I have an appointment.

I'm about to be picked up.

I can't find it.

I really can't find it!

Come with me. Take that off...

- What?

- Take that off!

Ok, If you think so.

Please, can you just tell him not

to fire that man or something?

That's up to him.

The more he fires, the fewer I

have to fire.

Listen.

Please, take it.

I couldn't believe

you told them not to lose their sense of humor.

That's really cruel.

It wasn't about that.

It was a nice encounter.

How can we modernize

that whole place if you pee your

pants when one of them is fired?

Take a short break, please.

With every step you take,

I can tell you how direct your economic

connection is to these people.

Your pseudo-green attitude

won't help you there at all.

You do everything like you have to.

Wonderful.

It's here.

Please, let's go...

Ms. Schnuck, this is yours.

- Try it.

- No.

Yes. This is...

very healthy.

Please take notes.

Just a few.

I'm leaving.

For once, let's finish

something politely.

Nothing's wrong, Gerald.

I just have nothing on.

It's a...

a naked party.

Interesting, OK.

It's part of the team building.

You said that...

Stupid idea, but I

couldn't think of anything better.

You don't have to join in.

Ring the bell if you

change your mind.

Thank you.

Am I early?

It's a...

It's a naked party.

Gerald had the idea. He knows this

kind of thing from college.

- To strengthen the team spirit...

- Of course.

And who's already here?

No-one.

I know for sure they're all in there, and I'll

be the only one who walks in naked.

Call me when the joke's over.

Thank you, Tim.

Sh*t.

Tim told me you only let us

if if we're naked...

But it's not about sex?

No, no.

OK. So it's just as a challenge...

Correct.

I brought you this.

Unfortunately...

it didn't completely wash out.

Oh, thanks.

That's no problem at all.

You welcome.

Thank you.

Am I the first?

Many happy returns!

Thanks.

Because you always

ask for mine.

No big deal.

Is everything OK?

At the office you are always so...

so stiff, and now you...

come up with this.

You like the apartment?

Why?

Because I searched so long...

Oh, really?

I didn't know.

Thanks.

It's nothing.

- Want a drink?

- Yes, please.

- What...?

- Maybe...

Tim?

Who is it?

It's not Gerald?

Are you Gerald?

Had a beer first.

Come in?

Oh f***!

Huge!

Awesome.

Hardcore.

It's huge!

Where did you get it?

I think it's Bulgarian.

Nonsense.

Now he's leaving already...

This is...

salmon with lemon remoulade.

Just serve yourselves.

Guys, I have to pay that guy quickly.

Gerald and Anca are there.

Dad!

A serious occasion...

- Can I?

- Yes, thank you.

I'm sorry I didn't see her again.

The line is long...

They all still want

money from her.

- Are you ready?

- Yes.

You can close the coffin now.

Can I help you with anything?

It's almost done, thanks.

If there's anything you're attached to...

let us know.

Benjamin's making a list.

Yes, I'll think about it.

Go visit him. He'll be happy.

Yes, on occasion...

Ines.

Where are you these days? Budapest.

Bucharest.

But I just finished there. Now I'm

going to Singapore for two years.

A new firm.

What are these companies called?

You've probably heard of McKinsey.

I used to be with Morrisons.

Amazing, you travel the world.

Winfried, can you come here?

And you, still in Malaga?

No, we went back to Remchingen.

- I'll be right back.

- Ok, see you.

That song...

Irma is crazy, right?

They were supposed to

play something by Harry Belafonte.

She liked him.

Even though it was "negro music" to her...

You know...

All the things she kept.

A helmet.

Full of hats, look.

You know...

About your question there,

in Bucharest...

about life.

About what's worth of living.

The problem is...

it's so often about getting things done.

You do this, you do that...

And in the meantime...

life just passes by.

But how are we supposed to

hang on to moments?

Now I sometimes sit there

and remember

how you learned to ride your bike...

or how I once

found you at a bus stop.

But you only realize that afterwards.

In the moment itself

it's not possible.

That's it.

Wait.

I'll get my camera.

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