Tony Page #2

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shattered both his kneecaps.

He still tried to get up and run away, mate.

Black c*nt.

That's all the foil I've got.

That's blinding, brother.

That's all right, mate. Thanks.

Do you want a beer, then?

Yeah, go on, then. I'll have a beer.

We'll all have a beer.

Oh, mate...

I f***ing need a bit of this.

I'm clucking, boy.

- There's a beer there.

- Cheers, Tone.

F*** off, will you? Putting the beer in my face.

He's putting the beer over me, man.

What's the matter with ya?

Let's all just f***ing chill out.

Relax and have a bit of...

Ow! What you f***ing doing?

- Don't put feet on the table.

- Don't touch my f***ing foot.

- I broke that f***ing foot.

- Sorry.

Do you want some beans on toast?

- What you on about?

- Make some food.

No, I don't want nothing, mate. I'm all right.

Mack, do them up.

Shall I put a film on?

I've got no reception but plenty of action films:

Schwarzenegger,

Steven Seagal, Chuck Norris...

I've got Jean-Claude Van Damme, his first films.

I've got No Retreat, No Surrender...

I've got 2 as well. He's not in that.

How about 3? How about 4?

- What about 5?

- You're being silly now.

- How about 6, you got that one?

- No, you're being silly.

Enemy Territory, seen that?

About the vampire gang in the block of flats.

- You seen that one?

- No.

What about Double Revenge, you seen that?

Seen it?

I told you, don't put things in my face, mate.

Don't f***ing put things in my face.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- Don't put them in my face.

Let's all calm down.

Don't throw my film. Good job it's not in there.

You would have had to pay for it.

Yeah? You'll f***ing end up paying for it, c*nt.

Let's just chill out and relax.

Let's all have a bit of gear and relax.

F***ing... all this madness.

We all need to just take a breather.

What about Cocaine Wars

with John Schneider from Dukes Of Hazzard?

That'll do, just get that on.

We ain't too worried about the films.

Gimme a bit of that.

I'm doing it, mate, ain't I?

Nice drop of wallop.

- Oh...

- Mack, Mack!

It's all right, it's all right. It's sweet.

Here we go.

What about me having a bit of that smack?

I mean, I did put ten pounds towards it.

Don't worry, mate,

you're gonna get a bit, I promise ya.

We need it, mate. We're clucking boy,

we're clucking here.

You'll get a bit of wallop. Don't worry.

So I'll just have a beer, then, yeah?

Go get yourself a beer. Chill out.

That's it, mate, that's the jackpot. That's the one.

I'm gonna load that up. There's a bit on there.

Get another bit ready.

That's a nice bit, better than that other one.

- F*** off.

- Hold it a minute, Tone.

I'm trying to boot up here.

What's the matter with you?

Lts not done like that, Tone.

You wait your turn. You'll get a bit.

There's hardly anything left.

We got a load of it. We've got three there.

- Oh, right, OK.

- Calm down, you'll get your turn.

Right, OK.

I'll sit down.

Give us another go.

All right, Tone?

Stay still.

Stay still. Stay still.

What's the matter with your face?

Where's Smudge?

Oh, he's having a little lie down. He's not well.

I don't want to kill no more.

I could have killed you.

In town, you're the law.

Out here, its me.

Don't push it. Don't push it.

I'll give you a war you won't believe.

Let it go. Let it... go.

Seen it?

First Blood.

Simon, this is Smudger.

/When I work, I don't leave loose ends.

/You don't need him.

/I do.

Tony, please, listen to me.

Listen to me. You know me, man.

I ain't f***ing said nothing to no-one.

I ain't gonna say nothing to no-one.

Quiet! Be quiet!

All right, Tony. Please, please!

Please, let me live.

Let me go. I ain't gonna say nothing

to no-one, I swear.

- Aargh!

- Stop it! Be quiet!

That f***ing hurts! Please, please!

Let me live. Let me f***ing go, man.

Let me f***ing go. Please.

Please.

See you later.

/What's the matter?

/Sally.

Morning.

Do you want a cup of tea?

Do you want some breakfast?

I'll make some breakfast.

Oh, hello. I live downstairs.

And I've cut my finger.

I wondered if you had a plaster.

Plaster?

Yeah, its just it's bleeding quite badly.

Come through.

- Thanks.

- Follow me.

OK.

Take a seat.

- Plaster.

- Yeah.

Thanks.

Do you want a cup of tea or cold drink?

Erm... cold drink?

- Squash?

- Yeah.

So, do you live by yourself?

Yeah.

Must be lonely for you.

No... Well, sometimes.

Have you got any pets?

No, just me.

Thanks.

Oh, that's better.

So, have you lived here long?

Yeah, ages.

Yeah, I have seen you around.

What's your name?

Dawn.

- Tony.

- Oh.

Nice to meet you.

So... what you doing Sunday?

Nothing.

Do you like roast?

Roast dinner.

Erm... I love roast.

Well, you're welcome to join me

and Dave and the kids,

if you like, on Sunday.

Why don't you come down for lunch?

That might be nice.

Good.

Lovely.

Anything you don't like?

Any vegetables or do you eat everything?

Brussels sprouts.

Oh.

Oh, well, I'll make sure I don't have any of those.

Oh, is that the time?

I really need to go.

There's a tenants' meeting...

Bye, Dawn.

Nice, nice lady.

Listen, can I phone you back?

Something's come up.

Is that all right, mate?

Tony, yeah?

Mike Hemmings. Take a seat.

Just getting your...

Just dragging your...

So, Tony...

...you've been unemployed

for 20-odd years now.

And apart from a couple of weeks'

work experience,

you haven't done anything at all.

listening to people like me carrying on and on,

telling you to get a job, get a life.

Sorry.

Sorry? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I really am.

I'm sorry for being late.

You're not late.

I thought I was late.

No, the problem isn't with you being late, Tony.

The problem is... you.

What are we gonna do with ya?

What?

Well, according to our records,

you've been on Jobseeker's Allowance forever

but haven't actually...

Oh, Jeez.

Listen, it's better for you to work, Tony.

You'll feel better with a nice little job

and some money in your back pocket.

What do you think about that?

I don't think that's a good idea, really.

I'm quite happy how things are.

I know you probably are

but you're actually costing the taxpayer money

when you could be a taxpayer yourself, no?

Have you filled your book in?

What book?

Are you disabled in some way?

No.

What have I done wrong?

You haven't done anything wrong -

or right, for that matter.

You're just incapable.

I can't see anything wrong with you

maybe getting a job cleaning toilets. I dunno.

Would you like that?

You could meet people, no?

- I'm not sure, really.

- Why not, Tony? What's wrong with you?

I've got a job interview for you.

Don't be late cos I will stop your money, OK?

You from England?

Yeah.

You sure? You look Polish.

No, I'm English. I was born here.

OK.

Does this type of work interest you?

No, not really.

Well... I don't know.

Well, have you done anything similar?

Yeah.

When, then?

I mean, no. No, I haven't.

You think you're up to it?

Do you or don't you, mate?

It's a simple question.

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