Tooth

Let me tell you a story.

A fairy tale. Kinda.

About a bunch of Tooth Fairies

who lost their magic...

...and the adventure we all had

to get it back.

It all started last Christmas...

...when I was about to break

the world land-speed record.

Captain Tom Wallit

is cleared and ready for takeoff.

I dedicated that historic

moment to my mother and father...

...and to the memory of my sister

Tolly, who had /just recently been...

...eaten by bears.

Tommy?

Tommy?

What are you doing?

Keepin' an eye on your sister?

Yeah, Mom.

So I lied about the bears.

But a boy can dream.

Harsh. Card's declined.

Really?

No problem, I'll just...

I'll write out a cheque.

Sorry. Can't do it.

You're the Wall of Shame, lady.

- The wall of what?

- The Wall of Shame.

Happy holidays.

Ohh, honey!

Congratulations.

We'll take it home,

put it under your pillow...

...and tonight...

the Tooth Fairy will fly in.

- Tooth Fairy?

- Leave you a whole dollar.

- Shh.

- Oh, puh-lease!

"I Ate Dirt With Bigfoot":

A Sceptical Examiner exclusive.

Yikes. What's next, Tooth Fairies?

Tooth in.

Money out.

Good morning, Metro Area!

Put those snow shovels away,

it's gonna be another warm one today.

Probably our warmest holiday

on record...

...but don't let that affect

your holiday cheer.

I like pennies.

And half a jam sandwich.

Weird.

Don't look at me.

Dad must have done it.

It was the Tooth Fairy, stupe.

- Pygmy.

- Yo-yo.

- It wasn't your father.

- How come, Mom?

- Ugh.

- I said how come?

Because he didn't come home

last night, that's how come.

Dad!

Can I help you?

You just do what you have to do.

And make it fast.

It's Christmas.

Next time I'll wish for some

real money from the Tooth Fairy.

Money makes the world go round.

And thanks to this little beauty...

...we'll make plenty of it.

Right here in Fairytopia.

Money for a billion teeth a year.

Money to buy

the world's Christmas presents.

Money's all we need.

But what about magic?

Who said that?!

Magic is for suckers.

We haven't used magic since Mrs C.

She's living up there now.

She's got magic.

Care to find her? Be my guest.

But know this:

...others have tried...

...none have returned. Chhh!

Fairy Hunters.

Anyway, who needs magic now?

We've moved on to things that are

much more modern and exciting.

Operative 72,

please report to Quality Control.

400,000 new teeth

now arriving at Bin 42.

To commemorate

Human Appreciation Week...

...tonight's lecture is entitled...

..."Children Who Floss

and the Fairies Who Love Them."

The Fairytopia Film Series

presents The Toothinator...

...starring Arnold Overbite...

...followed by

the classic Citizen Canine.

It's morning, people. That's a wrap.

Get some sleep.

Now, hear this.

The Christmas countdown has begun.

All fairies to be refitted

and ready for Christmas duty...

...by sundown Christmas Eve.

Seven days from now.

This is not a drill.

Repeat:
This is not a drill.

Look at 'em. Fairytopia's finest.

Full of pep and zing.

And then there's...

Too... Too...

- Tooth.

...ooth!

Drab.

It's a... it's a good look for you.

Ohh!

What's in the bag, jerk?

Oh, look. It's empty.

Like your wallet, Wallit.

"My Dad," by Tom Wallit.

"My dad is a master criminal."

Where is he now? Jail?

He's in a coma.

Stage dive! Oof!

Daddy?

Hey-hey! How's my little brood?

Little fear-of-heights thing

I'm trying to get over.

Toughening up

for the big Greatest Hitz tour.

Throwing oneself from the stage

into the arms of one's adoring fans.

January the 5th, 5.30 start.

Put the word out on the street.

Guess you must be feeling better,

Mr Walnut.

Wallit!

The Sceptical Examiner

calls me "a big fat liar"?!

My giant squid "a hoax"?!

Has the universe gone insane?

I'll get these people,

I'll show them.

Plug is the number-one...

...name in surveillance...

and security...

Plug is the number-one name

in surveillance and security.

With thousands of cameras and

listening devices around the city...

...I intend to make it number one...

...in the hunt for creatures

beyond our world.

I want 24-hour patrols

across the city.

I want a live specimen captured.

Let's move out!

Uurgh!

Listen up, people. It's now /just two

days to Christmas. Let's look sharp!

Mom, she popped another one!

This was meant to be

for Christmas morning...

...but you look like

you could use it now.

# Use it now...

- # Use it now #

- It's an IOU.

That's right,

cos I owe you a great year.

I get a gold record,

just one:
Whoosh. We're there.

- Spare us the rock-star fantasies.

- What... what...

What... what's this... what...

Come on, darling, what is it?

Don't you believe in me any more?

It used to be cute. Things change.

- I didn't.

- They took the couch.

It's Christmas,

we can't even afford furniture.

I'm gonna ask for some real money

from the Tooth Fairy this time.

Yeah. Ask for a gazillion.

"Dear...

...Tooth Fairy."

"Help... us...

...please."

Maybe my mom and dad would have

been better off in some other time...

...and some other place.

As explorers, maybe.

Once the world's greatest team...

...they got trapped inside

the Pharaoh's tomb...

...with no source of food

but each other.

When that was gone, so were they.

Bicuspid at 222 Sunset.

Incisor at 18 Elm Street.

Molar at 32 Broadway.

OK, let's move 'em out.

Move, move, move!

We're movin', we're movin'.

Next stop, Mendelbaum residence.

Incisor, next stop.

It used to be...

...when Mrs C was in charge...

...fairies could fly...

...and holidays were for giving.

Oh, pffft!

How about giving me a break?

Or me a Christmas bonus.

You can never be too rich

or too thin.

That is one dead fairy.

Takes one to know one.

Ohh!

- Tooth!

- Look at you!

Gum disease has more personality!

All you do is talk about

money, money, money!

Be crazy for a change.

Live a little.

Sometimes I wear my

Wednesday underpants on a Tuesday.

My hero.

What have you ever done, eh, Tooth?

Your jam-sandwich trick?

Or the s... sponge cake

in the air conditioner.

Or the night before that.

You're just a loudmouth and a loser.

If I wasn't such a loser,

I'd find Mrs C and get magic back.

Find magic?! Piffle!

Dangerous nonsense.

Humans hunt our kind for sport.

There's a jungle of human wickedness

between us and magic.

And you're no action hero!

- Geronimo!

- Watch the hip!

Aargh!

She's right. Better to play it safe.

Oh, yeah. Why rock the boat?

Next stop, Wallit residence.

Incisor.

"My name is Tom Wallit...

...and my dad invented shampoo,

diet soda and the Internet...

...to help the modern world."

Whoa.

Get a job, Dad.

The History

Of Wall-to-Wall Carpeting.

Wall-to-wall carpeting stands as...

...foot after foot of plush,

foot-friendly wall-to-wall carpeting.

Of all the different

kinds of carpeting...

"Dear Tooth Fairy...

...help us, please."

What have you ever done, eh, Tooth?

You're just a loudmouth and a loser.

She's right. Better to play it safe.

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