Top Gear: The Perfect Road Trip 2 Page #2

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A point that makes itself clear

as soon as you put your foot down.

Yay!

(CHUCKLES)

It's got the same

flappy paddled DSG gearbox

as you get in the Audi R8.

Which is very good news,

because that's one of,

if not the best, gearbox in the world.

Instant!

And I've got a button here.

It's the ANIMA button.

That's Italian for animal.

I bet Hammond is sitting

in his Lamborghini now

talking about animals.

'Cause he doesn't know that ANIMA,

which is what the button's called,

in Italian, means "soul".

And there's three different modes,

so I'm guessing

they're like different animals.

The soft one is probably a hare,

fast but quite fluffy.

And then you can go for the middle one,

that's maybe a cheetah.

And then the really angry one

is a tiger. I'm going tiger.

If you push it,

it just firms up the dampers.

It doesn't turn the car

into an elephant.

It has nothing to do with animals.

He's a blithering idiot.

There are times,

pushing on like this when

the Hurcan feels more like a sports car

than a super car,

and that is a compliment.

Because what I'm saying is

it feels more like something you can use

and drive hard rather than a bauble.

The steering is superb.

God, this thing is good.

It's still a Lambo.

This is still exciting.

CLARKSON:
With Hammond now very happy

that the Hurcan was behaving

as a true Lamborghini should,

we headed into one of Italy's

least well-known treasures.

Bologna. Home to two basketball clubs,

the seventh busiest airport

in all of Italy

and this, a magnificent piece

of 17th century architecture

that I knew

Hammond was dying to find out about.

Pay attention, Hammond. This is the

longest portico in the world, okay.

It's four kilometres.

Goes all the way from

this part of Bologna

to a church at that part,

and it's so people could go to church

without walking in the sun.

I'm not interested.

666 arches and would you like to know

why they chose the number of the beast?

No. What I'd like to know is

where I get my spaghetti Bolognese.

- (SCOFFS)

- 'Cause that's what I'm here for.

Where is it?

CLARKSON:
And with that, we were off.

(BELL TOLLS)

Obviously, I don't need to be

in the shade because I have a

Mediterranean, olive complexion.

That means I can take the roof

off the 650S

and not suffer at all.

Excellent.

HAMMOND:
I'll be honest.

I am slightly annoyed by how good

that McLaren looks with the roof off.

Suddenly, it's got all the drama

you need in a super car.

It looks brilliant.

Damn!

And here we are entering

the centre of Bologna,

the red city so named because

it's the communist capital of Italy.

And it's the home of Lamborghini.

That communist icon. (CHUCKLES)

In the city centre, we parked in

a square which caused no fuss at all.

- I apologise for my friend.

- Oh.

- I would really like to go.

- He gets crotchety...

I'm not crotchety.

I just want to go and eat.

- Can I go and get...

- Yes, you go...

- Bye.

- Which one do you like best?

Lamborghini or McLaren?

- McLaren.

- The McLaren?

Yeah. McLaren more than

the Lamborghini even here.

I'll have the spaghetti

Bolognese, please.

No. No, no.

I'll have spaghetti Bolognese, please.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

- Spaghetti Bolognese. As in Bologna...

- No. No spaghetti.

- (ENUNCIATING) Spaghetti Bolognese.

- No.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

- You sure?

- Spaghetti... No.

Okay.

HAMMOND:
Eventually,

I had to concede defeat

and join Jeremy

who just finished his dinner.

- Wow.

- Beg on.

- This is ridiculous.

- What?

You can't get

spaghetti Bolognese anywhere.

- Can you not?

- In Bologna.

- That's unbelievable.

- What have you had anyway?

I had a rag.

Sounds disgusting.

Hmm. Anyway, listen, never mind that.

I've booked a hotel for the night

and I've got an idea.

It's got one really good room, okay?

Right...

Whoever gets there first

can have the room.

- So a race there?

- Yeah.

- First one there gets that room.

- Yeah. Exactly.

- All right. Yeah, I'm up for that.

- You're up for that?

I'lljust finish this

and we'll get going.

- Spaghetti Bolognese.

- Rag, mmm.

Three, two, one. Go!

Satnav is the answer here.

So, let's put it in.

Here we go.

Don't know where he's going.

What Hammond doesn't realise, of course,

is that in old cities like this,

even Audi satellite navigation

is useless.

Local knowledge, that's what you need

and I know it is right here.

I love the way the satnav is integrated

into the main instrument binnacle

rather than a separate ugly screen.

Okay.

Uh... Uh...

Sort of... I think it's that way.

(HONKING)

CLARKSON:
Whilst Hammond was annoying

local delivery drivers,

I was making progress

the old-fashioned way.

Good, so right on Nosadella,

past that big statue...

Yes, I know where I am now.

I know more than satellite navigation.

Well, everybody knows more than

McLaren satellite navigation

because it knows

literally nothing at all.

It tells you where you've been.

It tells you where it thinks

you ought to be.

But it never tells you where you are

or where you're going.

There's no left here. Straight on.

No, it was right. It was right.

I should have done the right there.

In cities, most super cars,

in fact all super cars,

feel enormous and ungainly.

They really do feel like you've gone

into a china shop with a bull.

This, though, it doesn't.

It shrinks around you, it feels tiny.

And speaking of Hammond...

God!

I need to be able to select

width of street.

It's really hard to judge this car.

Squeeze it down here. Easy-peasy.

Cyclist! I had no idea he was there.

He's in my blind spot.

Which is massive.

Ooh, three here...

Now left...

This is it.

Oh, God!

Well, I didn't want the posh room

anyway. Any room will do me.

I'm not that fussed. Just a room.

(FOOTSTEPS)

(PANTING)

Oop. I hear the sound

of an approaching Hammond.

I think he's still nine

storeys away, though,

so we have plenty of time

to finish my book.

Ooh, he's getting louder.

Ah, you're here.

Why is the winner gonna be very pleased?

Well, this hotel only has one room,

and, as you can see,

I've got it.

One room? It's not

really a hotel then, is it?

It is. It's a one-room hotel.

So, what do you say?

I've got to either sleep with you...

Which isn't gonna happen.

- No, it's not.

- 'Cause I sleep like that.

Don't wanna know.

Or go all the way back down with my

suitcases and find somewhere else.

That's exactly it.

You lose, back you go.

Right. Gone.

Yeah. Sleep well.

Hope you don't die or anything.

(CHUCKLES)

I'll be fine. I'll find somewhere good.

CLARKSON:
Don't trip up. It's much more

tricky going down than it is going up.

HAMMOND:
Well, at least

I'll get to sleep in hospital.

CLARKSON:
The next morning,

inspired by the incredible views

from my hotel's only bedroom window,

I had an idea.

An idea I was keen to share

with my rather grumpy colleague.

What?

Well, the thing is, okay,

50 miles from here,

not even that, there's a racetrack.

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