Top Hat Page #2

It's like this, miss.

You see, the horse is kind of tired today...

on account of having won

the Grand National on Friday.

Are you trying to tell me

that this is a racehorse?

Yes, miss, and I've got his pedigree, too.

As a matter of fact,

his sire was Man O'War.

Who was his dam?

- I beg your pardon, miss?

- I said, who was his dam?

I don't know, miss. He didn't give a...

Peekaboo.

Stop this cab at once.

I don't know how.

I've never handled anything

more complicated than a Duesenberg.

Take it easy, Mavis.

What are we going to do?

In dealing with a girl or horse,

one just lets nature take its course.

There we are, miss.

I told you the horse

would bring you to the right place.

What is this strange power

you have over horses?

Horsepower.

Don't I even get any thanks?

Buy yourself a new hat.

Cab, miss?

May I rescue you?

No, thank you, I prefer being in distress.

Charming little spot you have here.

When does the concert start?

Just as soon as you and the rain stop.

Now, please.

You wouldn't like to be

just a little bit more friendly, would you?

Why should I?

I don't know you from Adam.

Maybe it's the way I'm dressed.

Are you afraid of thunder?

No, it's just the noise.

You know what thunder is, don't you?

Of course.

It's something about the air.

No, when a clumsy cloud from here

meets a fluffy little cloud from there...

he billows towards her...

she scurries away

and he scuds right up to her.

She cries a little...

and there you have your shower.

He comforts her.

They spark.

That's the lightning.

They kiss.

Thunder.

Who is sending you this horse's shoe?

How cute.

Alberto, I've seen him.

I've talked to him. I've danced with him.

- Him? Who is this him?

- Who?

His name is Adam.

You forget this Adam.

You have promised to go with me to Italy.

Your friend Madge Hardwick

is awaiting you.

There, you will dazzle the eyes

in clothes designed by Alberto Beddini.

Alberto, I hope you don't mind,

but I'm not going to the Lido.

Madre mia. What you say?

My dear, listen to me.

We have made agreement.

Beddini designs the clothes...

which you wear among your friends,

the smart people.

So that they ask:

"Who is so smart

as to make these smart clothes?"

And you say,

"Who? Who is so smart? Beddini. "

Forget this Adam. Beddini demands it.

Beddini does, does he?

Alberto, up to the present, our relationship

has been purely a business one.

But if you start interfering

in my personal affairs...

I'll go back to America

and live on the dole.

Now, Dale darling, I'm so sorry.

I did not mean to interfere.

Go ahead, fall in love with this Adam.

Marry him.

But, as Mrs. Adam, what would you wear?

Fig leaves.

Thank you, sir.

Dale, a telegram for you.

Read it to me, please.

"Come ahead, stop.

"Stop being a sap, stop.

"You can even bring Alberto, stop.

"My husband is stopping

at your hotel, stop.

"When do you start, stop. "

I cannot understand. Who wrote this?

Sounds like Gertrude Stein.

No, it's from Madge Hardwick.

She says her husband is stopping

at this hotel and will look you up.

Wonder what kind of man Madge married.

He's sure to have influence.

Let's be nice to him.

I'm going to be too busy

being nice to somebody else.

Dale, you can't do this.

All my life I have promised my dresses

to take them to Italy...

and you must be in them.

Sorry, Alberto, but I'm unpacking.

Never again will I allow

women to wear my dresses.

- Good evening, Miss Tremont.

- Good evening.

Mr. Beddini and I have decided to stay.

I'm so glad. Then I'll cancel the order

about the bags.

Thank you. Is there a Mr. Hardwick

stopping at this hotel?

Why, yes, Miss Tremont.

Mr. Hardwick has room 404.

Just above you.

- Are you sure?

- Definitely, miss.

As a matter of fact,

there's Mr. Hardwick now...

on the mezzanine.

The gentleman

with the briefcase and cane.

- Horace, here's a telegram for you.

- For me?

- It's from Italy.

- Italy? That's probably from Madge.

There's a message in your room

to call the box office.

Some trouble about the tickets

or something.

Trouble? With the tickets?

My word, Jerry. Why, they wouldn't dare.

Will you hold those things for me please?

Get a taxi and I'll meet you downstairs.

All right.

Cab, miss?

When a clumsy cloud meets

a fluffy little cloud.

We're only trying

to investigate matters, miss.

We must protect our guests.

She does not need your protection.

I am too much protection enough.

There's nothing to investigate.

Nothing matters, nothing's happened.

Will you please ask

these gentlemen to go?

You mean to tell me

that girl slapped your face...

in front of all those people for nothing?

What would you have done, sold tickets?

I mean, you did nothing,

and yet she slapped your face?

- Now you're getting it.

- I wish you'd be serious about this.

One breath of scandal at this time

will ruin our show.

Why, I'd rather have had it happen

to me than to you.

- Lf you enjoy that sort of thing.

- I do, immensely.

Don't be absurd.

I hate men. I hate you. I hate all men!

But cara mia, you make a big mistake.

I am no man.

I am Beddini.

How could he have made love to me

when he was married all the time?

And to Madge of all people.

So, this snake in the grass, this Adam...

already he has eaten the apple?

Yes.

I will kill him for you.

Have you finished packing?

But you do not understand.

Are we leaving or aren't we?

No, you cannot go back to America.

We must go to the Lido.

But I can't face his wife.

And why not?

Women are facing wives every day.

And, after all, you can't avoid seeing

Madge sometime, can you?

I guess not.

Very well then.

Why not face the musicians now?

All right. Maybe she ought to know.

You're sure

you didn't forget yourself in the park?

Positive.

If I ever forgot myself with that girl,

I'd remember it.

- We're the management.

- Are you?

Oh, dear. Some more

of these plural personalities.

Just a moment.

Jerry, get into my bedroom, quick.

No one must know you're here.

If they ever suspect that you're in this,

it'll be in every newspaper in an hour.

Well, gentlemen,

this is a pleasant surprise.

A small matter of great import

has come to our attention, sir.

I am up here in your interest

and to protect the hotel.

- We wish to avoid any scandal.

- Scandal?

Yes, in connection

with a certain slap in the face.

The young lady refuses to divulge

why she slapped you.

Well, she didn't slap my face.

Who did she slap?

Why, it was... Who?

It was he, my valet.

Me, sir?

Why, of course. Don't argue with me.

How did it happen?

Possibly we had been

a little imprudent, sir.

Of course. You see,

we had been a little imprudent.

But you said it wasn't you.

Not Mr. Hardwick.

Gentlemen, we take all the blame myself.

And there we are. There you are.

You see, it was just a mistake.

I'll take him to task personally.

- Thank you, sir.

- Not at all.

- Good night.

- Not at all.

- Good night.

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