Top Secret! Page #3

Synopsis: This time Zucker and Abrahams are spoofing, most notably, Elvis films and WWII spy movies. Val Kilmer stars as Nick Rivers, a handsome American 50s-style rock and roll singer. While performing in East Germany, he falls in love with a beautiful heroine and becomes involved with the French Resistance.
Genre: Comedy
Production: Paramount Home Video
 
IMDB:
7.2
Metacritic:
68
Rotten Tomatoes:
77%
PG
Year:
1984
90 min
2,156 Views


impaled upon

a large electrical device.

Our surgeons did what they could...

but it took them two hours

just to get the smile off his face.

Perhaps the American

has chosen to reconsider.

Make sure they leave no marks.

Do you know which room

the final chemistry exam is in?

All the exams are over.

Haven't you been to class?

- No!

- But it's the end of the semester.

No. No, I haven't studied.

Oh, no, I'm back in school.

I can't believe

I'm back in school.

Thank God.

- Well?

- They're still working on him.

He won't break.

They've tried everything.

Do you want me to bring out

the LeRoy Neiman paintings?

No. We cannot risk violating

the Geneva Convention.

We'll break him tomorrow.

Who are you?

What are you doing here?

My name is Nick Rivers.

- Who are you?

- I am Dr. Paul Flammond.

I am a prisoner here

just like you, my son.

You see, a year ago,

I was close to perfecting...

the first magnetic

desalinization process...

so revolutionary, it was capable

of removing the salt...

from over 500 million gallons

of seawater a day.

Do you realize

what that could mean...

to the starving nations

of the earth?

Wow. They'd have enough salt

to last forever.

Then one night, the secret police

broke into my house...

tore me from my family,

ransacked my laboratory...

and brought me to this dungeon.

That sucks.

For the first time in my life...

I am ashamed of being a scientist.

- What do you mean?

- They are forcing me...

- to create a horrible weapon.

- Can't you refuse?

I wish I could,

but they are holding my daughter.

They'll kill her unless I complete

the Polaris Mine by Sunday.

Sunday?

That's Simchas Torah.

And the day

the entire NATO submarine fleet...

passes through

the Straits of Gibraltar.

Is this the Polaris Mine?

Yes. By Sunday, I will be able to

arm it with a nuclear warhead.

- How does it work?

- It is a magnetic mine.

So powerful, it will attract itself

to submarines miles away.

- How about that.

- Oh, no!

You must go now.

If they find out you've seen this...

your life will be worth less

than a load of dead rats...

in a tampon factory.

Right away!

- Von Host.

- Ja, mein General.

The government wishes to avoid

an international incident.

Mr. Rivers must be allowed

to perform his concert tonight.

He's to be executed

this very minute.

It'll have to wait.

Call them at once.

Ja, mein General.

How silly can you get

Yeah, yeah

How silly can you get

Ooh, yeah

I never ever meant tO stray

but when she looked at me that way

The night was young and gay Paree

made me forget

I went to Paris in France

I found a little romance

She was a-walkin'

down the boulevard

I know I shoulda been good

I never thought that I would

Be double-crossin', baby

Cross my heart

A little rockin'

and a little wine

Stopped me thinking

about a little valentine

What's a lonely boy to do

She looked so fine

How silly can you get

Yeah, yeah

How silly can you get

Ooh, yeah

I never ever meant tO stray

but when she looked at me that way

The night was young and gay Paree

made me forget

How silly can you get

Yeah, yeah

How silly can you get

Ooh, yeah

No more foolin'around, you bet

How silly can you get

I can't believe it's true

That I just met a girl like

YOu

Each night I'm all alone

My heart's an empty home

To see you standing there

would be my only prayer

You set my heart on fire

It's burning with desire

Your touch, your lips, your soul

You make me lose control

Baby, please

Baby, please

Baby, please

Spend this night with me

Spend this night with me

I can't believe it's true

I met a girl like you

In heaven we would be

If you would spend

this night with me

If you would spend

this night with me

Darling, I'm here to say

I pray there'll come a day

When by my side, you'll stay

When you, you will always be

A love that's true to me

You set my heart on fire

It's burning with desire

Your touch, your lips, your soul

Mm, you make me lose control

Baby, please

- Baby, please.

- Baby, please, baby, please

Spend this night with me

- Oh, baby, baby, please.

- Baby, please

Don't you understand I need you?

I can't live without you.

I'm gonna say something

I've never said before.

I even love ya.

Oh, it's just no use.

I'm beggin' you, darlin'.

I can't face another day

without you.

Oh, honey lamb, I'm afraid.

Don't you understand

I'm losing my very mind?

I gotta have you with me.

I'm in such a complete anguish

without you.

Oh, sugar drawers.

Baby, I'm standin'

at the great abyss of love...

- and I'm teeterin'

- Baby, please, baby, please

Oh, dumpling, I promise

I'll even be nice to your mama.

Baby, please

Spend this night

With me

Ooh-wah

Those bikes!

That is no excuse.

Search the road again.

They're in the eastern sector.

I want the whole area sealed off.

Now, there's a used book store

somewhere around here.

The owner is a member

of the Resistance.

- If we can find him...

- Resistance? Wait a minute.

Don't you think it's about time

you told me what this is all about?

I'm sorry. I guess

I do owe you an explanation.

You see, only a year ago...

I was teaching

a course in Black History...

at the University of Blaupunkt.

And then one night,

I came home to find...

that my father had been arrested

by the secret police.

I've been trying to

find him ever since.

Wait a minute.

That's Dr. Flammond.

I saw him yesterday

in Flurgendorf Prison.

Flurgendorf Prison?

Is he all right?

- Yes, he looks fine.

- Thank God he's safe.

We must get this information

to the Resistance.

- Maybe they can help us.

- Okay, let's go.

There it is.

It's a Swedish bookstore.

That's okay.

Don't feel bad.

It happens to lots of men

the first time.

Just relax.

I'll pour you a drink.

We can always try again

in a couple of hours...

"she said, as she laid down

beside him and caressed his chest."

Can you believe

they print this trash?

Can you believe

they print this trash?

Don't worry about it.

You were going to tell me

something about your childhood.

Oh, yes.

When I was just a young girl...

my uncle took me

on a tropical cruise.

But there was a terrible storm,

and the boat sank.

I managed to swim

to a deserted island...

with a young boy named Nigel.

Together, we had to

learn to survive.

Fortunately, the ocean

provided its bounty...

which Nigel would catch every day.

Later, I would forage inland

for fruit and vegetables...

from the endless varieties

of trees...

and bushes

found all over the island.

Then we busied ourselves,

chopping palm fronds...

and lacing them to bamboo

with dried seaweed and snot.

This not only provided us

with a safe haven from the rain...

but sheltered us from the

relentless Santa Ana winds...

which would periodically

ravage the island.

The years passed,

and as we grew up...

we began to notice strange,

new feelings awakening within us.

There was no one around

to explain this.

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Jim Abrahams

ames S. "Jim" Abrahams (born May 10, 1944) is an American movie director and writer. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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