Topper Page #8

I think you're

gorgeous too, darling.

Oh, captain, bring the wine

list. We don't want a wine list.

No? We want a flock more of pink ladies.

That's right.

Bring a lot of pink ladies.

And go on bringing them,

on and on. Yes, sir.

Yeah! dd Old Man Moon Wake up now dd

dd 'Cause I've fallen

in love dd

Yeah!

dd Go spread the news dd

dd To all the stars above dd

dd Shine for my baby

while we're dancin' tonight dd

dddd

I wanna dance.

I thought we wanted to drink. Mm-hmm.

I do. I wanna drink,

I wanna dance, I wanna sing.

I wanna-

I wanna have fun.

Whee! Whoo-hoo! Come on! Let's dance.

dd And if it's possible dd

dd Keep shinin' till noon dd

dd My sincerest thanks

to you, sir dd

dd Old Man Moon dd

dddd

My, this is fun. Well, I'm

glad one of us is enjoying it.

Oh, I say, huh? Oh, no. Don't

listen to me. I really like it a lot.

And I like you a lot. Toppy,

are you falling in love with me?

I tell you, I'm just

that way about you.

Just that way

about my wife, huh?

Listen, Marion, what did you mean

by that remark on the telephone?

"We're not married anymore. "

Come here. I want to talk to you.

Hey, listen, what are you

so burned up about?

What about you

up in Westchester?

Don't change the subject. What

did you mean by that remark?

You'll pardon us, but this is just

an old family after-dinner custom.

Now, listen, Marion - Oh, George, you're

ruining our good evening.

Here. Have a pink lady.

Oh, I've had a pink lady.

And to places with a good deed. I'd

rather have you. Of course, of course.

You stay out of this. Never mind,

Toppy. I'll meet you in the lobby.

What's wrong here? You are. Take a walk.

You can't talk that way to me. Shut up!

She's right.

That's enough out of you.

See here, young la-

Where did she go to?

Never mind.

You stay here like a good little

pelican, and I'll find her.

Hey, where are you?

Where'd you go to? Where

are ya, either one of ya?

Why don't you watch what you're

doing! I didn't do anything.

Well, then watch yourself. Well,

I've got enough to worry about.

What happened? I-

Stop pushing me! I'll not stop

pushing you because I didn't push you!

Ohh! Topper, you're going home

to your wife where you belong.

George, I won't be ordered

about. You're going home!

I am not.

Oh, yes, you are.

Oh, you naughty boy,

to tickle me like that.

What?

Well, my husband

will put a stop to this.

I wish he would, really.

Where are you going?

I quit.

That guy from 314

is too much for me.

Don't be silly. I'll have this rumpus

straightened out before I can bat an eye.

You just stand here

and bat your eyes.

I'm going out and get a nice

quiet job in a nut factory.

Sit down, Topper.

I wanna talk to you.

I won't sit down!

Oh, yes, you will.

No, I will not.

Something a little odd about

this hotel, don't you think?

I'm having a little chair trouble,

but you pay no attention to it.

I'm, uh- I'm reading.

Where's Casey? I don't know.

He wouldn't be any help anyway.

Well, you go call the police

before the whole hotel's wrecked.

George. George,

this can't go on.

It's gotta stop.

George.

I beg your pardon.

Did you drop this?

Oh!

Why, you-

you witch, you!

Casey, get that wild man to my office

before we lose every guest in the house.

Right. I'll show him

who he thinks we are.

The manager wants to see you

instantaneously.

I don't wanna see him. Now, don't evade

the question. You're gonna see him anyhow.

George? George.

George!

Uh-huh.

I've been looking for you.

What do you say we make up? Okay, hon.

Hey, you know, this is

the best fight we ever had.

But look at poor Toppy. We've

gotta do something about him.

It's practically done.

Get his bag in the car.

All right, darling.

Oh!

What are you doing?

Stop it!

You're hurting Rollo!

Take this sack of bones

off of me!

Won't somebody help me, please? So you're

the guy that caused all this trouble, huh?

I'm the house detective.

I'm in charge here.

Come on. Get up.

Here, hold this while

I go for the cuffs.

Eh, what is this?

It's a dog.

Are you trying to make a

sap out of me? It's too late.

Who said that?

Did you say that?

Of course not.

That's what's wrong here.

There's a phantom something or

someone who's wrecking this hotel.

And I want him caught!

A phantom?

Who you trying to kid?

All right, men,

surround it!

Surround who?

Who's giving orders here?

You folks watch the door.

Come on, men. Follow me.

All right, men, line up.

We'll rake the room.

Quiet!

Ooh-ga-boo!

Steady, men.

We're closing in on him.

Bread and butter.

Ba-boom! Happy New Year!

There he is!

Ooh! Get off!

Up. Get up!

A fine bunch of cops

you are.

I had that guy right where he

wanted me, till you crossed him up.

He's gone!

He's gone!

Sergeant, he's gone. He got into

the automobile and drove away,

but nobody was driving it.

Oh, there must be an easier

way to make a livin' than this.

Stop squirming, Topper.

What's the matter with you?

I can't help it.

Look at that speedometer.

What are you two trying to do,

make me like you?

Can't help it, old boy.

I'm scared stiff!

Where are we going?

I'm sorry, Topper.

I don't know.

All I know is I've gotta

go there, fast! Slow down!

Please slow down!

I said you'd ruin me,

and you have.

Now you've done it.

George, Marion,

where are you? Oh.

A fine thing.

Here we are again.

Hmph. Once more around that

curve, I won't have a hat left.

Look at Topper.

Hmm?

Now look here, you two.

But look at me.

I'm just like you now.

Keep your garters on, Toppy.

You'll be all right. You're

just a little unconscious.

Ah, yeah. You're much

too solid, Topper.

I don't think you've become

a member of our club yet.

Well, I won't go back.

I won't do it. Why not?

You won't do what? I won't go

back to that silly old routine.

Up at 8:
00, bed at 11:00.

Lamb on Sundays. I won't do it!

Oh, Topper, don't be foolish.

They won't make you do that again.

I'd rather stay here

with you and Marion,

even though it is like living

on the top of a volcano.

But, Topper, you've gotta go back. You

don't know how much it means to her.

No, I won't. Topper, you've

gotta go back! Don't you see-

George! Trumpets!

No, no, it isn't trumpets. It's

an ambulance! Get back, Topper!

No, I don't wanna go.

Well, if I've got to go,

I've got to go.

But I'll get up when I feel like it

in the morning and I'll have some fun.

Where were we?

You've had an accident, but you're safe

at home and you're going to be all right.

Where's-Where's Marion?

I'll call Mrs. Topper right

away. No, not Mrs. Topper.

Marion.

Who's Marion?

Oh. Mm-hmm.

She's probably someone I dreamed

about when I was in the ether.

But you didn't have any

ether. Oh, yes, I did.

You'd be surprised.

Your wife is very anxious to see

you. Do you feel able to talk to her?

You would bring that up.

I'm all right.

Go ahead and call her.

Might as well

get it over with.

Mr. Topper is conscious

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