Tormented Page #2

It's just me and you.

Punked, you f***ers.

Hug your pillow. Hug your pillow.

F*** you, all right? F*** off.

Mullet?

Mullet? Where you at?

Where you hiding, fool? Sick.

I think we should have a toast to Shrek.

To who?

Darren Mullet, the guy we planted today.

Oh, I can't drink to that.

They didn't mean we're celebrating.

They just... You know, to say goodbye.

- Hmm.

- That's all she meant, Justine.

- Why do you call him Shrek?

- Why do you think?

Because he was big...

and green

and ugly.

Except he wasn't actually

that green, though, was he?

But, f*** me, was he ugly!

Wasn't that the skinny kid

who threw up in assembly?

That's priceless. You spoke at his

funeral and you didn't know who he was.

Well, in that case we should definitely

give him a proper sendoff, right?

Justine, why don't you do the toast?

Er... rest in peace, Darren Mullet.

Lardy Boy.

To Lardy Boy.

Mm.

Mm, rest in piss, bro.

Ah.

Ha-ha-ha.

# One for my homies, one for my blud

One for my jeans...

Paying my respect

the only way I know how.

To Mullet. I bet the only reason

you hung yourself...

...was 'cause

you were trying to get a hard-on.

You were just trying to get wood, boy.

# That's the start,

the middle and the end

# Aren't you glad the universe pretends?

# If I don't get this message honed

once again I'm gonna hate alone

# Ride with me

# Ride with me, ride with me

# Oh, ride with me

# Ride with me, ride with me...

Justine, Jason and I were discussing

his little outburst yesterday.

And while I accept that he was upset

about the loss of his friend...

I didn't lose him. He killed himself.

Unless I hear an apology, I will have

no choice but to contact your parents.

- I'm sorry I called you a hypocrite.

- There, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Thank you, Justine.

'Richard,

Jeremy Prendergast's mother called.

'He went to a party last night

and he hasn't come home. '

If I know Jeremy, he's probably

lying drunk in a gutter somewhere.

'I dare say he'll turn up. '

Hey, Daddy. Hey.

Wait, Jason.

Look, I'm really sorry

about what happened to your friend.

- What was I supposed to say?

- You could have told the truth.

What, with his parents sitting there?

I could hardly say, "I'm sorry,

but I didn't know who he was. "

- You don't even remember him?

- No, I don't.

- He was completely in love with you.

- Don't be stupid, he didn't know me.

Everybody knows you.

You're like Princess f***ing Diana

in this dump.

Darren thought the sun

shone out of your arsehole.

If your friend liked me,

why didn't he say anything?

- You'd have laughed in his face.

- No, I wouldn't. I'm not like that.

OK, I'm not blaming you.

It's just is how it is. You keep

to your kind, and we'll keep to ours.

- I don't have a kind.

- Snotty, spoilt b*tches. That's your kind.

Yeah, and what's yours?

My kind are the people

you can't quite remember.

Darren would have

wanted you to have this.

Wait, Jason.

'I'm sorry, I can't go on

any more. They won't leave me alone.

'And now Justine has joined in.

'I don't know what I did

to make her hate me.

'She was my angel

and I will watch over her for all eternity.

'Goodbye. Darren. '

Oh, Miss. I'm so sorry.

What had you so enraptured?

Is it a note from your boyfriend?

No, no, it's... it's nothing.

I understand you've been offered

a place to read Law, at Oxford.

- Yeah, I got the letter last week.

- No one deserves it more.

Your contribution to my Citizenship

classes has always been exemplary.

Guys, you know the funeral march,

yeah? Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom, yeah?

I'm going to mash it up

with 'Lesbian Roadkill' by Tantric Dwarf.

You know the one, yeah?

"My mom raped me, and I liked it. "

- That is genius.

- You said it, not me.

Oi, Dracula, a word, if you don't mind.

I want that website taken down.

OK, yeah. Yeah, no worries, Brad.

I'll do it later.

I've got some time booked in the pod.

I'm doing this killer track.

I don't give a sh*t

about your Emo tit-wank.

I want the site down,

and I want it done today.

Because if that ain't, well,

you won't need to self-harm,

'cause I'll be doing it for you.

Clear?

Yeah, I was planning to do it anyway.

A piece of piss, Brad.

Let's go this way.

You should have come to Film Club.

We ate so much chocolate,

we were nearly sick.

Emily was on fire.

We're doing it again tonight.

Oh. Er... maybe.

I don't know.

Don't you say a word.

What f***er wrote this?

Did you?

Was it you?

- No?

- No.

Stand up. Look at me.

Clean it off.

Shut up.

'You're a batty boy.

' You're... '

Jason Banks is a dead man.

You really know how to enjoy yourself,

don't you?

Alex, this is a library.

What are you doing here?

What are you saying?

I practically live here.

That's my buddy Jeff, the librarian.

You all right, Jeff? How's it going?

- His name's Trevor.

- Trevor.

Seriously?

Well, that explains a lot.

Justine, about last night.

You're not to blame

for what Bradley dreams up.

I wasn't talking about Bradley,

I was talking about you.

I think you are moving way too fast.

I felt like I was being pressured.

Seriously, Juss.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

I just don't want you to think

that that's what I'm about.

Well, I did have my doubts,

but this swung it for me.

I didn't have you down

as the sentimental type.

What was that?

You like her too, now?

Well, it's too bad. I saw her first.

Yes, I am gonna ask her out

on another date.

OK, but if I made it clear

it wouldn't involve any power tools,

do you think she'd go for it?

- He thinks you're going to say yes.

- Well, he's smarter than he looks.

OK, well, I will leave the two of you

in peace to sort out the details.

Jeff, we should hook up.

Call me.

'Eugh! Your p*ssy stinks.

' Eugh! Your p*ssy stinks.

OK, settle down. Settle down.

Macbeth, act three, scene four.

This is the scene

in which Banquo's ghost appears.

- Or does he? Yeah?

- Yes, but only Macbeth can see him.

Yeah. Good, Helena.

But why? Why is this?

The room is full of people but only

Macbeth can see the ghost. Yeah?

Macbeth had Banquo killed

so Banquo's come back to haunt him.

- He only wants to scare Macbeth.

- Possibly.

- Justine?

- Sorry?

Why is it that only Macbeth

can see Banquo's ghost?

Um... well, I think that the ghost

is a figment of Macbeth's imagination.

Exactly, so Macbeth

has repressed his guilt...

- Who's that?

... and the ghost is his conscience

that has come back to haunt him.

Now, how does this relate

to the representation

of the supernatural in the play?

One second, Helena. So, it works

on two levels. So, Heckerty...

Huh? Oh, you want me to take

the site down, do you?

OK. OK, Bradley, yeah, yeah.

No problems. I'll get right round to it.

Right round to it. After a... That!

Karate chop to your neck, huh?

What's that? You can't breathe? How

about a little slap around your cheeks?

Huh, f*** you, Bradley White,

you little b*tch, with your little willy.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes